Anyway, bedtime. I’m sure you’ll all still be problematic pricks in the morning. Bye.
And that’s the last time I’ll say it that politely. Seriously, people are desperate to understand what’s going on…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0A
By all means explore the ideas and learn. Learning is good. Just keep it to yourself, or share it privately with appropriate disclaimers.
A PLEA: Can those of you playing amateur epidemiologist or medical data scientist just stop please? This isn’t a ga..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Kl
_RyanKirk This quarantine is affecting everyone in the work force, but it especially sucks for men
We’re losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing
@JustJimWillDo @realist @kels_316 @_midofo_ I see what you did there.
@drspacejunk Earth, I think.
@JustJimWillDo @realist @kels_316 @_midofo_ The sailors. Not me. I’ve never been in any kind of military.
@JustJimWillDo @realist @kels_316 @_midofo_ This one had been cleaned out. We’re not animals.
Hang on. RANR. I take that back.
@RhombusHatesYou @kels_316 @realist @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Thing is, the whole genre just doesn’t appeal to me. F..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…RH
Mantzarlis I’ve been disproportionately angry about those silly “Venice is so clean now” tweets so I’m grateful to @NatGeo for..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xV
@RhombusHatesYou @kels_316 @realist @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Well, no.
@realist @JustJimWillDo @kels_316 @_midofo_ A quantity of ammunition was expended, and there were quite a few hits..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Oq
@JustJimWillDo @kels_316 @realist @_midofo_ Sure, but that’s not why we were there.
@JustJimWillDo @kels_316 @realist @_midofo_ And in this case it was a shitload of 9mm from about eight shooters in all. It sank.
@damana [Nods] None of what I said was directed at you. Fast threads don’t help. There are people trying to suppres..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Oq
@damana Sorry to have chimed in on that. I am just so over the amateur epidemiologists.
@Tony_McFadden @damana @fictillius I know a tiny, tiny, tiny about this, Tony. But I know enough to know you have n..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…IP
@Tony_McFadden @damana @fictillius I see you are. So here’s the thing. It applies to you. Yes, you. I have friends..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sD
@damana @Tony_McFadden @fictillius Yeah that was at Tony, not you Mana.
@Tony_McFadden @damana @fictillius Are you familiar with the Dunning-Kruger Effect?
@damana @fictillius @Tony_McFadden Remind me again how many of you are epidemiologists? Oh yeah.
scottlynch78 Winston lay shackled upon the table and O’Brien stared down at him.
“Never again will you be capable of calm, or..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…d5
@NewtonMark I’m trying to think of a joke involving “tractor beam” but I’ll give up.
DougJThomas So this is what happens when I tell my Year 3 students that there won’t be NAPLAN this year. In these uncertain day..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…D8
@NewtonMark With or without the disinfecting chemtrails?
thegreatgonzo Whenever people talk about “blitz spirit” remember they had to use fines and deploy a million people in tin helmets..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…nd
@kels_316 @realist @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ I enjoy shooting, the few times I’ve done it, because of the discipline..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…qq
@JustJimWillDo @kels_316 @realist @_midofo_ Hah! It was the RAN who gave me the crash course in the Hi-Power 9mm of..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…vL
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @realist @_midofo_ There’s something very American about the ability to say “Can I help yo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0f
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @realist @_midofo_ Annoyingly, that day I was with someone who’d never held a gun of any k..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Rl
HartWexford That man: Henry Kissinger twitter.com/7Sport/status/…
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @realist @_midofo_ I believe that the polite term for “yippee shoots” is “weapon familiari..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eq
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @realist @_midofo_ American Shooters is run by ex-USMC trainers, and it’s across a car par..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1S
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @realist @_midofo_ OK, so as a lame civilian all I can say here is that I fired 60 rounds..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…R6
@jeffsonstein I met him a few years back. He’s very convincing, until you check the citations for context.

@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @realist @_midofo_ This is the ‘pedia version. I haven’t traced back sources. pic.twitter.com/Mr9p67WYI2
@JustJimWillDo @realist @kels_316 @_midofo_ Nice little road trip.
@jeffsonstein Yeah Lomborg’s qualifications are political scientist and he’s basically a polemicist for the anti climate science industries.
@Metaporia Hah! Beautiful.
@realist @JustJimWillDo @kels_316 @_midofo_ So no navy bubbly-bubbles for you!
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @realist @_midofo_ Oh that. Yes.
@_midofo_ @kels_316 @JustJimWillDo Of course he did.
@JustJimWillDo @realist @kels_316 @_midofo_ Dunno about the C-class.
@JustJimWillDo @realist @kels_316 @_midofo_ I’ve bene all the way thru an O-boat, a live one and not just HMAS Onsl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…qD
@JustJimWillDo @realist @kels_316 @_midofo_ Yeah look you know these guys and girls take a lot of shit out of the b..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…j6
@realist @kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Anyway that’s 53cm, so yeah a small-ish diver can be shoved in there.
@realist @kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ There’s compressed air feeds though. ;) VOOM!
(OK they don’t do that.)
@Bloss55 @SenPaterson @larissawaters Excuse me?
@realist @kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ The main standards are 18-inch and 21-inch, but there’s lots of others…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Fj
@joannejacobs @JustJimWillDo No. At 6am, it’s Robert Fripp’s “Exposure”. As loud as you can make it. youtube.com/watch?v=hzFsDQ…
@kels_316 @_midofo_ @JustJimWillDo I do Melbourne frequently, or at least used to before the DEATH VIRUS came along.
@JustJimWillDo @kels_316 @_midofo_ Well indeed. I know nothing.
@kels_316 @_midofo_ @JustJimWillDo With that @JustJimWillDo cunt too. Sadly @_midofo_ is too far away.
@kels_316 @_midofo_ @JustJimWillDo Anyway, ‘nuff said.
@kels_316 @_midofo_ @JustJimWillDo And also, yeah, I have over-drinks stories to relate. As someone with a business..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xE
@kels_316 @_midofo_ @JustJimWillDo Oh yeah he was… fit.
@Bloss55 @SenPaterson @larissawaters Yeah nah, I verified it. Waters’ post has now been deleted, and she said she’d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…DR
Onto the next one. “Sovietwave Spacemix” youtube.com/watch?v=LjeY5b…
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Hah. My mate seemed to make the transition OK. He’s no longer with us, but his t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…GP
@JustJimWillDo @kels_316 @_midofo_ Though whisky must be had at some point, yes.
@JustJimWillDo @kels_316 @_midofo_ Ah yeah, I forgot I told you. :) All good, all blood under the bridge.
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ Well you should, because they’re fucking insane. Any unit that selects recruits..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1U
@joannejacobs No. Put on some VERY LOUD punk or something.
This needs to be a continuing diary. twitter.com/joannejacobs/s…
@65georgiegirl @JoeABCNews Ah good. As you were.
@kels_316 @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ “Baby bubblies”? Really?
(I ask this because one of my best friends ever was on..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Uz
Histreepix British Prime Minister Boris Johnson pledges UK can change the tide on Coronavirus in twelve weeks, or he’ll be dea..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…fY
See this is what true class is all about. twitter.com/fesshole/statu…
Hurrah for Soviet-era techno, or something.
This is a good track too. youtu.be/l-7C5EqO8EU?t=…
@kels_316 Indeed.
@JoeABCNews Yeah you really need to show those things with a log scale to see whether the rate of change is increasing or not.
@kels_316 Sure. There’s still the discussion about whether Waters’ comments was all that bad. But at this hour I can’t be arsed.
@kels_316 And look, I was wrong, I made a mistake, so the word has to be “Sorry”. And now regular service will be resumed.
@shermozle @SenPaterson @larissawaters There’s a difference between gallows humour (which I practice regularly) and..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…8v
@kels_316 And now I’ve had to apologise to an ex-IPA senator. Look what this damn virus has done!
Five points to @SenPaterson for responding politely to everyone who, like me, thought he was pushing a fake and rep..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wy
@SenPaterson @larissawaters And yes… it is… really, really wrong of her.
@SenPaterson @larissawaters I hope you understand that there’s a lot of misinformation around, and politicians of a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…FX
@SenPaterson @larissawaters I withdraw. Sorry.
LN_Master_Hub “Having sex with a small circle of of people helps prevent spreading COVID-19.”
“Alright now… everyone get into..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Yj
@NigelBell19 @SnarkyPlatypus WTF?
@arcadiagt5 What? The Jellicoe Cats? They were indeed treated unfairly.
@zzap Sadly I know nothing beyond what the esteemed Yorkshire Examiner tells us.
@arcadiagt5 To be fair, they did just rummage for food in bins behind restaurants and clubs.
@oberonsghost @RealNickHodge @SnarkyPlatypus It does. He’s quite fit for a man his age, but he kinda should be.
shaun_vids if you’re a landlord worried about tenants not paying rent, here’s some advice: just rely on your savings. tap into..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…BR
@ecbronte @SBS @markhumphries @adamliaw @TomCBallard @adambspencer It was recorded weeks ago. Calm down.
@RealNickHodge @oberonsghost @SnarkyPlatypus Clothing just falls off sometimes.
@_midofo_ @franksting Mate I don’t want those diseased boomers near any fishing boats.

@franksting @_midofo_ Looks reasonably clear. pic.twitter.com/vKXJNDheWu
@RealNickHodge @oberonsghost @SnarkyPlatypus There’s something fishy about this.
@oberonsghost @SnarkyPlatypus Well have you seen Russian men from that era now?

cybergibbons Heathrow is barely running 50% of scheduled flights now. pic.twitter.com/uValGZegCg
FXMC1957 USA No.1 on this day in 1963: The Four Seasons - Walk Like A Man youtu.be/GzoIvwNqKpw via @YouTube
warren_s Just saw the 13yo watching some disgusting video on the internet and now I need to sit down and explain to him in t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…VC
@PointZeroOne Yeah it was a genre that the Tube of Ewes threw at me recently, and there’s a shitload of these compilations now.
@oberonsghost @jonoabroad @RealNickHodge And rightly so.
@JustJimWillDo Don’t I already do that?
This feels like one for @SnarkyPlatypus. twitter.com/sovietvisuals/…
@jonoabroad @RealNickHodge Fuck no.
@jonoabroad @RealNickHodge Don’t watch it if you’re feeling at all fragile. Trust me on this.
@JustJimWillDo @SuperCroup I don’t want to be a cryptographer. Requires too much thinking.
@jonoabroad @RealNickHodge It makes the American film “The Day After” look soft.
@jonoabroad @RealNickHodge That one is 1h52m29s rather than 58m or so, so I’d go with that second one.
@jonoabroad @RealNickHodge Here you go. archive.org/details/thread…
@jonoabroad @RealNickHodge “Threads”. It’s not pretty. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Threads_(… Here’s a shitty copy…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…iq
@JustJimWillDo @SuperCroup I know this. :) But I don’t have a certificate.
@_midofo_ This is excellent goat content, yes.
@_midofo_ I’m just budget-conscious. Because I’m responsible.
@_midofo_ Yeah but it’s luxury accommodation now. qstation.com.au
@JustJimWillDo @SuperCroup Yep. And then there’s the cloud on the right. Yet this photo is being run all across Bri..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Q0
Awesome. twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…
@JustJimWillDo @SuperCroup Really? So many people said they saw that. That really surprises me.
@RealNickHodge I know the film quite well. Alas.
To give you a taster, try this: youtu.be/nz7KQE09RyI?t=… #sovietwave
@SuperCroup Then I’m glad to be part of it.
@RealNickHodge Correct.
Hey @SuperCroup is the Stoke Sentinel a good paper?
AequoEtBono Bin Chicken SC drops into a Legal District watering hole only to find that these days, it’s all about social distan..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1C
Listening to more Sovietwave. youtube.com/watch?v=nz7KQE…
@markhumphries @SBS @adambspencer @TomCBallard @adamliaw I’ve just spoilered myself because I haven’t watched last..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ag
markhumphries These four hunks are giving you another reason to stay in. The Grand Final of ‘Celebrity Mastermind’ airs 7:30pm Sa..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…P2
@RealNickHodge Is this a remake of “Threads”?
I assume the Stoke Sentinel is one of Britain’s great newspapers of record.
@_ClaireConnelly @SnarkyPlatypus @ScottMorrisonMP @murpharoo Monday’s session of Parliament is going to be interest..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tr
The PA must’ve syndicated the photo with the yarn. Or the newspaper group did. Hilarious.
THE STOKE SENTINEL. stokesentinel.co.uk/news/uk-world-…
@NewtonMark @johnb78 WASH HANDS.
@NewtonMark @johnb78 Sixty. Years. Later.
Amused that one of the shittiest photos I’ve ever taken was picked up by a news agency.
@tomfoster66 @dobes @davpope They’re far from the first country to do this.
I think @NewtonMark and @johnb78 will be amused to know that DfT has put skywriting back on Britain’s agenda.
Pleased to have my photo run in the Yorkshire Examiner and many of Britain’s finest regional newspapers. “Skywritin..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…x1

erstkate The questions some people ask on Quora are 🤯 pic.twitter.com/qRlZFfRUXC

So @dobes, I’d missed @davpope earlier but here it is. This is smoochy. pic.twitter.com/ohckyLx967
I probably need to get out tomorrow because I’ve got the urge to write a think piece.
@SuperCroup Is there a twibbon? Are twibbons still a thing?
@SnarkyPlatypus @moylecroft That’s very America, when you think about it.
kels_316 I simultaneously hold the following views:
1. That the Army need to be on the streets enforcing lockdown; and
2…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tX
IvanSpyrdz @mediahunter Will the newspaper headline tomorrow be “Kenny Rogered”?
Too soon?
@CptHollingworth “Kennies”, I think. But yes, a lot.

FXMC1957 21 March 1685. Johann Sebastian Bach, one the greatest composers of all time, was born in Eisenach, Germany. pic.twitter.com/CqKVdetGy7
If you’re thinking of making a “They killed Kenny!” joke, please note this and reconsider. twitter.com/search?q=%22th…
@CptHollingworth May I draw this to your attention? twitter.com/search?q=%22th…
@SnarkyPlatypus What did you expect?
joneaves Sure, why the fuck not. Bring it. twitter.com/FUBARrockchick…
@RealNickHodge @SnarkyPlatypus “Britain will fight to the last Australian, Canadian, or New Zealander,” which doesn..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Nu
@RealNickHodge @SnarkyPlatypus Hahaha! There’s a curious bit spliced in the middle about India, as if they forgot a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9K
@RealNickHodge @SnarkyPlatypus Indeed. I’ve seen a few of these films before, as well as those booklets to read bef..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4b
@RealNickHodge @SnarkyPlatypus I like how they refer to Hitler as “The fella who calls the signals on the Axis team..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…QD
@RealNickHodge @SnarkyPlatypus It’s a curious film. American propaganda about how tough and brilliant the British are.

Vey @RealNickHodge content, and perhaps @SnarkyPlatypus too. pic.twitter.com/Qp0Yt9liaW
NOW WATCHING: From the US National Archives, “Know Your Ally: Britain” (1943) youtube.com/watch?v=2SOvr9…
SnarkyPlatypus loooooooooooooool twitter.com/NewtonMark/sta…

shane_reaction_ Not now, Enya pic.twitter.com/RWOLuBKSA3
@drspacejunk Evil Space Queens needs to be finished, but then there’s so many of them!
@gnoll110 @RhombusHatesYou @kels_316 The what now?
I wish to make it clear that I didn’t have a photo of a capybara fucking a tortoise just lying around. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@trentyarwood @GordyPls This is magnificent.

@RhombusHatesYou @kels_316 Same with tortoises. pic.twitter.com/XUHoP4Vr4e
phbarratt PS In a past life I held the statutory office of “Director of Quarantine” so I know a little bit about how this wor..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…c1
phbarratt Bad luck, Border Force. You exercise the power, so you are the decision maker under the law. You can take all the a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…iq
@kels_316 Well the more you think about it the more questions arise.
Still thinking about the correct way to use a capybara.
poleposters Whoever wrote that “Imagine” song should be shot.
@kels_316 Cop: “Evening, Sir. And why are you spending so much time in these toilets tonight?”
Punter: “I’m here to..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ck
stilgherrian “Hand Washing In Patient Care”, a 1962 Nurse Instructional Film (11m23s) youtube.com/watch?v=FW2Xis…
@RhombusHatesYou @evolbrain How does an idiot use a capybara? And what is the intelligent way to use a capybara? Th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zb
natecochrane If you’re tempted to write “Govt said”, “PM said” or “Govt expert says” pick up the phone & call an outside voice…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Al

evolbrain Friends, if you’re out and about, please keep a tapir’s length from others. pic.twitter.com/tl5SrqmRGe
@burgotastic How was the strawberry?
@DrRhysPockett Or basically any Asian-ish grocer.
@DrRhysPockett Head into Thaitown. Go to Pontip on Campbell St.
@FrKarlSinclair You could stand on their lawn and shout at them.
@FrKarlSinclair Hey it’s worth a shot, and your congregation is bound to be an expert in this shit.

JasonKander Homeschooling is hard. I walked away for one minute. #TrueStory pic.twitter.com/Jaf1thgs6t
“How Spanish flu nearly ripped apart Australia’s fledgling federation” by @PPDaley (14 Mar) theguardian.com/world/postcolo…
“A lone traveller heading to South Australia brought this deadly flu to Ballarat [in 1919]” by @calebcluff thecourier.com.au/story/6639227/…
@FrKarlSinclair How are your gardening skills? And I’m guessing you have some garden space at your place?
@alexkidman Yes, that one is probably better for the audience.
JohnCleese In the same way that you have to be slightly intelligent to realise that you’re not very intelligent…
You have t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1v
@alexkidman Well, he does get legless…
MatthewBevan 12 days ago twitter.com/skynewsaust/st…
@FrKarlSinclair About buying seeds? Or about the failure?
@theharryshearer Good advice. twitter.com/hrmoroz/status…
Hey @theharryshearer you ARE number one! Oh wait. twitter.com/JustinWolfers/…
I have been informed that a nearby Bunnings in the Blue Mountains has been doing a roaring trade in seeds and seedl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…nh
alexkidman Testing a proof of concept that may help:

syperek In other news, my 5-year-old has drawn ‘a man made of bums’ pic.twitter.com/vV4S0EqlLu
@franksting Further down in the thread. Just another dumb rumour. twitter.com/samanthamaiden…
femmocollective Someone just described Jared Leto as Aldi’s Johnny Depp and I’m dying
NeolithicSheep So you’ll be sitting there taking a shit while doing something that more or less looks like you’re jerking off a corn cob.
NeolithicSheep You can tell he’s never done this because you don’t use cooked cobs. You use the cobs from feed corn after you’ve r..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Xo
sanspoint The City of New York has issued guidance on how to fuck during the Pandemic.
This is real.
www1.nyc.gov/assets/doh/dow…
luoshanji “NOTICE: Midnight porn-watching neighbor: Please delete our bluetooth speaker from your phone. Here are the instruc..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Fc
@kcarruthers @staffo_sez @NathanaelB It could just be a spy robot. Has it tried handing you a message?
@johnb78 @purserj @SuperCroup Sigh.
TimeCubeEXE Without Time Cube, your life right is voided.
@purserj @SuperCroup @johnb78 And yet I’m sure we all have a little list…
@kcarruthers @juhasaarinen @staffo_sez Tawny Frogpenguin! twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@flatuselatus @chazhutton Maybe it is the Second Eternal September.
@SnarkyPlatypus @SuperCroup Oh yes that’s right lol.
@juhasaarinen @kcarruthers Exactly. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@SnarkyPlatypus @SuperCroup Weren’t they making a TV drama?

Well this is annoying. pic.twitter.com/H0JXl4Ghyi
SuperCroup Any fucker who calls me without texting first to see if it’s okay to call will be removed from my life, and also pe..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gx
@paulkidd I knew it was them’s fault!
beccalew elon musk follows exactly 81 accounts on twitter, and two of those accounts are rick and morty and south park. a third is quillette magazine
@franksting @NetflixANZ That’s annoying. Oh well, I’d ignore it and see what happens. But then I’m lazy.

oz_f I’m sure there’s context to this but it’s still very funny pic.twitter.com/GvZVvEbsta
@franksting @NetflixANZ Nope. Scam. Note US phone number when it’s going to be Netflix Australia here.
@NuclearAnthro Yep, it’s very clever technology.
@colourmeamused_ Nah, wombats are fine. I don’t hate them They’re just jerks.
@TimWattsMP Which is fair, because we’re all living on burrowed time. [Bows]
@juhasaarinen “Rino”? Surely “Rona”?
“Are ‘busloads’ of shoppers really stripping Australia’s regional supermarkets bare?” Short answer: No. theguardian.com/world/2020/mar…
@staffo_sez @kcarruthers @NathanaelB Closer than, say, squid.
@kcarruthers @staffo_sez @NathanaelB Lucky you. And dammit, Andrew, I didn’t think about not-quite-owls.
Exactly. Quazza the Quarantine Quokka. twitter.com/juhasaarinen/s…
flglmn normally i hate the pledge but this neighborhood of parents and children gathering in the rain in their pajamas to..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…aH

@NathanaelB @kcarruthers Check and mate. pic.twitter.com/Uh55q97Ocu
This works for me. Quokkas are bullshit animals anyway, as you may have seen me say in the past. #whyarequokkas twitter.com/Craig_Harvey/s…
I wonder what Australia’s quarantine mascot would be? twitter.com/mondomascots/s…
I got 5/10 in the @SatPaper quiz this week, but I would’ve gotten 7 if I hadn’t rushed through it. thesaturdaypaper.com.au/quiz/2020/03/21 @SnarkyPlatypus?
@NathanaelB @kcarruthers Pro Tip: Owls have legs.
Very cheery from @jonkudelka today, and it’s true. twitter.com/SatPaper/statu…
Meanwhile, a fact from computing science. twitter.com/johnregehr/sta…
@joannejacobs @kcarruthers I knew this would happen. :(
@joannejacobs @kcarruthers IANAOE.
@joannejacobs @kcarruthers Also it is likely to be a Powerful Owl unless it goes “boo-book” in which case it’s a Boobook.
@joannejacobs @kcarruthers I don’t think Closet Owls are a thing, Joanne.
SuperCroup (No lockdowns and schools staying open are clear decisions that have been made.) twitter.com/AliceShawLand/…
stilgherrian REMINDER: “Flatten the Curve of Armchair Epidemiology” medium.com/@noahhaber/fla…
stilgherrian I reckon I’ll be retweeting this daily for the next year. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
emilycmulligan Doctors when you have something wrong: “I’m not that precise type of doctor, I couldn’t comment”
Random doctors in..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2p
@NickyWill100 Ah. Right. A concatenation of boofheadery. ;)
@kcarruthers Maybe the owl is not what it seems.
@NickyWill100 Rugby?
@NickyWill100 Whole separate issue.
I wonder whether the NSW Police Minister is able to make us not want to bulldoze him into a landfill.
This is a very good thread. twitter.com/AlicePonderlan…
@kcarruthers Have you broken an owl?
dailytelegraph #BREAKING
It is understood Police Minister David Elliott insisted on the move after thousands of beach-goers again..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Xs
chaser Please restrain your extroverts
Constababble Already had a mate shorten quarantine by saying:
“A heap of our staff have to go into quazza.”
He works in Aussie..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ua
RadioFreeTom Because of course she does twitter.com/BillyCorben/st…
@NickyWill100 @thomas_violence This seems fair.
@DrRhysPockett Goddammit.
Remember, healthy eaters, the coronavirus is all-natural, organic, vegan, and gluten-free. Go for it.
@NickyWill100 @thomas_violence EAT THE FAMILY.
coopesdetat ‘Mild’ COVID is what most people may remember as one of the worst flu episodes of their life. It’s very unpleasant…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…t0
@NickyWill100 @thomas_violence EAT THE LLAMA.
thomas_violence must be awful, wandering around y your mansion listlessly, going from room to room to room to room to room to room..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Wz
… though this is a perfect response. twitter.com/SamiZayn/statu…
This is one of the more stupid things I’ve seen today, though I admit things are moving fast… twitter.com/IngrahamAngle/…

noxrosa I have a PhD, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what you’re supposed to do on this kindergarten worksheet. pic.twitter.com/ZBCDph3uvs
@staticsan Shit happens.
YaaAsantewaaBa The only lesson I’m learning is that the state has always had the means to help poor people. But will only do so wh..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…A2
@DrRhysPockett Who says?
Yeah, the kid did alright. twitter.com/MapPornTweet/s…

mdavisqlder This is true. pic.twitter.com/bDoj28YPD8
OK then. twitter.com/thehill/status…

Brunch, the start thereof. But you can’t have any because I’ve already cooked and eaten it. pic.twitter.com/kU4dyJthWJ
kvanaren 2yo’s entire daycare class is on a zoom call together. a dozen 2yos, all on a conference call.
TimMacAndErny Just in case quarantined Paris wasn’t disorientating enough: my neighbourhood was being used as a film set when the..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…WO
Hmmm. It seems that I’ve spent most of the last hour sketching out the structure and some scripting for a podcast…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…P2
@munin My bedroom is also a very special place.
graham_euan It’s not widely known that Japan was meant to host the XII Olympiad, in 1940. Tokyo had to wait another 24 years, a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…MY
It takes true mastery of the art of being a sociopathic prick to generate a ratio like this. I feel like I want to..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zI
KyleClark Tip: If you’re calling it something other than COVID-19 or coronavirus at this point, everyone else knows why.
beneltham Panic buying houses. Only in Australia. twitter.com/ricyet/status/…
existentialcoms Landlords do not “provide” housing.
Construction workers provide housing. Landlords, in fact, do the opposite of p..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…g4
@davispg All too true. When I’m asked to be on TV, and for that matter on radio these days, it’s to support a pre-e..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9D
Wow. This is certainly in the category of “decisive action”., @SnarkyPlatypus. twitter.com/thomas_m_wilso…
@AdelaideBook @TroveAustralia Ah yes, I’d been thinking that variants would be needed to focus down on specifics. I..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…AG
PulpLibrarian Life in lockdown is at least bearable because of technology: Skype, Spotify, broadband etc. But what was life like..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…bl
Read this whole thread, yes do, but this for me is the hook. twitter.com/vgr/status/124…

odyneson THIS is exactly what that video of the celebrities singing feels like while people are dying from a pandemic pic.twitter.com/euznkxtttK
Sat plan: I’m just going to potter around the place, reading and listening to podcasts and the like. I do have A Ce..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Oa
@AdelaideBook @TroveAustralia Thanks for those, Kerryn.
@ApostrophePong A lot of places in AU have been doing the same sort of thing. All the food delivery services can ju..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xW
AmericanAir Our first cargo-only flight, since 1984, departed from @DFWAirport to Frankfurt, Germany, filled with medical suppl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…DV
@parisba I guess I’ll just have to htfu.
@oberonsghost This is more likely to be weather-related. Coles had a bunch of leafy categories labelled with signs..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Qq
@parisba I should pitch it. As long as I don’t have to produce it. Or ever see it.
Noahpinion Can you die of NIMBYISM?
Yes. Yes you fucking can. twitter.com/annehelen/stat…
Bondi Dickheads go global. I also like how the interviewees think it’s the other people who are gathering there, bu..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Gt
chazhutton September? Everyone ok with September? twitter.com/chazhutton/sta…

donmoyn Fauci’s reaction when Trump refers to the “Deep State Department” pic.twitter.com/Svn4kv7Kt1

Today’s Blue Mountains weather seems adequate. pic.twitter.com/scTmwsKLix
Saturday. Behold, Tortoise Heaven! Saturday.