I can no longer be trusted with the internet. You can have it now.
Oh.
BUT IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING TO NOT QUESTION MY ANALYSIS I AM SMARTER THAN YOU ARE AND HERE IS THE DIAGRAM!
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: I think we do need a Melissa/Dannii showdown of some sort. [Something like this youtu.be/GIuvlqKX0TY …?]
“Barbie Girl” (Sam Kekovich v Melissa Tkautz v Justice Crew), so full of right! arseh.at/qex HT @clutterbells via @SnarkyPlatypus
More passive-aggressive bullshit.
@en_gy Can’t go to bed yet. There’s wine left.
@en_gy It’s been a long day. I don’t have the energy to complain all night.
7C tonight? Orly? Well, I can’t be arsed lighting a fire. I’ll just complain on Twitter in the morning.
“How Twitter played a vital role in the Queensland floods” by @snurb_dot_info, an Expert. arseh.at/qeu
@buckleup Bah! By the weird-as-shit-worldview standards of the Blue Mountains I’m the very picture of logic and reason.
@buckleup Oddly enough fish and chips would probably have been a less-salty thing, since I couldn’t screamed NO FUCKING SALT YOU ARSEHATS!
@R_Chirgwin @zzap I usually don’t use any salt in my cooking. This is… way more salt than I find pleasant. Also organ is just fine thanks.
@zzap Osmosis? [digging into old memories] Partial pressure in solutions… so I soak the chicken in water overnight, right?
There must be a method for getting salt out of roast chicken. Cold water extraction or, um, look, I don’t understand what I’m saying.
If in Wentworth Falls, NEVER buy chicken from Falls Take-Away. It is always way too salty. Three fails out of three.
The cybersecurity panel recorded with @stiennon @seankopelke will be on ABC Radio National at 0810 tomorrow and at arseh.at/qer
The backlog of @replies will be dealt with either 1. a bit later or 2. never. Larger numbers are more likely.
@R_Chirgwin Hah! That password is not only glorious and true, it also works. Many thanks!
@R_Chirgwin Oh excellent, thank you! That’ll help counteract the over-salted roast chicken. Now all I need is the Wi-Fi password. ;)
And… we’re at Bunjaree Cottages. I shall consider dinner before taking anything too seriously.
Oh FFS I’ve got a heavy case to shift, I’m jot going to open the fucking door for you too!
Alighting.
Is it true that Telstra BigPond, a company that wraps itself in the flag, still charges for data from our national broadcaster’s iView?
@chrisgander I didn’t see, but whatever caused our train’s departure to be delayed momentarily is unlikely to affect you a month hence.
Half an hour until I arrive at Wentworth Falls. I thought I’d have more of a nap but was woken by so-called “revenue protection officers”.
There is Something Happening at Strathfield station.
@charispalmer Yes I like to think I do a better class of manufactured outrage.
RT @unsungsongs: ABC is looking for a new ‘Head of Arts’. Is it you? bit.ly/AjIi2L [Sure, I’ll sort out those lazy cardiganfolk.]
@charispalmer It’s OK, Charis, I’ll make up some… um, I mean report on some news for you soon.
The 1653 service to Mt Victoria always seems more civilised. Is this because it doesn’t stop at Blacktown?
Snap poll! Which US radio presenter with the initials IG sounds most likely to be a serial killer?
All taxis should play Duran Duran. That is all.
This Ira Glass worship is all a bit creepy, I find.
RT @paulmp he specialises in “weddings, scenery, maternity, newborns, engagements, autos, spots, portraits”… so nothing really [Glorious!]
So are you all sick of cost photograph yet? Now a certain editor can see why I didn’t call. Editors shouldn’t be allowed on Twitter.
@paulmp Hah! I hadn’t clicked thru to see his other work yet. I don’t think I’ll bother now, thanks for the heads-up. ;)
@paulmp Exactly. His costings included bullshit and left out vital stuff. But it’s still “brilliant” because… why? Any handwaving will do?
@paulmp Yes, I did read the post, and that’s not how you do costings. Plus if I wanted that image I’d book a photographer on a day rate.
Mobile, somewhat later than planned: Train back to Town Hall; collect suitcase; cab to Central; train to Wentworth Falls; etc.
@paulmp That’s my entire point. He was saying this is what the photo COST, and his costings were rubbish. Utter rubbish. Accounting fail.
@paulmp But I think you think I’m saying that photographs shouldn’t be paid for. That is certainly not my position.
@paulmp Gawd, Mr Six Thousand is no Gursky! Mr Six Thousand clearly has an inflated idea of his image’s worth. That’s what I object to.
@paulmp “Stole”? Have you thought of starting a music company? Copyright infringement, sure. Theft, no.
@paulmp Obviously no-one should use his work without permission, but that’s just a bullshit price in a buyer’s market.
@paulmp His “this photo cost X” calculation was bullshit. Completely undermined his argument IMO. And $6k for a generic sunrise? Bah!
@mrgrumpystephen @paulmp Thank you for completely missing the point.
Whinging entitled photographer demonstrates why we still need accountants. arseh.at/qe7 HT @paulmp @wolfcat
@Jayne13 Communing with Ibises seems to involve a decorated shopping trolley and much dancing around a moreton bay fig tree.
Is @lukehopewell a “technology expert”? Well bugger me!
A new island has just erupted into the Red Sea. arseh.at/qe6
Oh dear. The Old Woman who was Communing with the Ibises in Belmore Park just walked in. Her name is Tammy, apparently.
RT @excid3: This is how the internet is created arseh.at/qe5 HT @jdub
@SulphurCocky Aust was unusual at the time for linking online and offline business identities, but I reckon the result is trustworthiness.
@saasu I just fell in love with you again for “{Date+1M}”. It’s these little things…
All IT media releases begin thus: “[Company] [generic improvement verb] [vague business jargon] with [product name].” Who the fuck cares?
@dmflower Thank you. Yeah, if you’ve learned something today, well, that’s a wrap. /cc @crikey_news
@SulphurCocky The .com.au domains have been linked to business identities for many years now. Aim is that .com.au == legitimate business.
@4_martinis The $185k isn’t to “register a domain but “set up a top-level domain registry”. It’s a solid amount of work.
Me at @crikey_news: “The snake oil that is domain registries’ big fat new revenue stream”. With bonus typos! arseh.at/qe2
Goodness me.
It appears that a thing called Bar Racuda will soon open on Enmore Rd.
Also, typos. Sorry. I was in a hurry.
Suddenly realising that one of the examples I used in my @crikey_news story today is entirely unconvincing.
RT @Sephyre You could say that about any speculation for an event that hasn’t finished yet. [Yes. Yes you could.]
Dear Media, do you know when we’ll know who the next US President will be? November, that’s when. Until then, shut the fuck up.
markmorford Smoking pot probably won’t fuck up your lungs, study says very slowly, in the dark, from the couch, 5 times in a row. bit.ly/AsgBCm
The young woman resolves certain difficulties in her personal life by shouting at the man from 30m away.
No, I’m not explaining how I know that.
But just to make it clear,you’re not allowed to have sex on Druitt St. Not at lunchtime, anyway.
Oh hello! #RI++
Time for these errands over to Enmore and Newtown. And lunch. Yes, lunch.
OH, three older women planning their travel: “It’s a lake. It should be nice.”
@SulphurCocky ISPs are in the ideal position to detect and deal with zombies They have the relationship with the end users. /cc @LiamT
@ozdj @NickHodgeMSFT So, apparently I’m… what? A whole day behind the pace now? NFI what you’re talking about. #MetroAllTheThings
Story filed for @crikey_news! Whew! Goodness me that was some, um, creative typing.
Writing. Shoosh.
RT @en_gy: Where on earth am I going to squeeze @stilgherrian this afternoon? [Now show on the dolly where the bad man squeezed you…]
Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to get all this shit to fit back in the fucking suitcase.
Thank you, @BernardKeane @xrobau @en_gy, all as helpful as ever. (@en_gy Call back after midday, I’ll have time for you then.)
Who just tried to phone me?
@GreenJ A pleasure, Jonathan. So, what’s the difference between “industry consensus” and “groupthink”? ;) @stiennon @seankopelke
I think I’ll walk back to the hotel, check out, write the @crikey_news piece and then head to Newtown.
And… we’re clear.
Recording begins.
@expectproblems I know you’re disappointed, but double-zombie headlines are good for the, you know, traffic.
I am in TARDIS 1 at ABC Ultimo. There is a strong buzzing noise in my headphone. Or there may be bees in my mind. One or the other.
“Australia’s zombie infections doubled in 2011”, write@LiamTmT. Is iCode failing to deliver resultsarseh.at/qdzKL
@seankopelke Indeed, Sean, look forward to chatting with you, @stiennon and @GreenJ shortly.
@MetaMikeBiggs Our concepts of breakfast are vastly different.
Mobile: Cab across to ABC Ultimo, which should be fairly quick.
Can I sneak a quick @crikey_news story into this morning’s plan? Why yes, I think I can.
The breakfast cheese platter is not excessive, no Sir!
It’s still scheduled for 0810 tomorrow even if you didn’t see me mention it. I am not Schrödinger.
If you saw me mention an ABC Radio National panel on cybersecurity for 0810 this morning, that’s now scheduled for 0810 tomorrow.
@Melissa_Moyle Visiting the NBN Display Centre in Melbourne isn’t a bad idea at all. I shall consider.
@R_Chirgwin No, the @firstdogonmoon badges would be mine. Must’ve slipped out my my box of crap onto your floor.
Wed plan: 0930 ABC Ultimo recording; errand Newtown/Enmore; errand Sydney CBD; train to Wentworth Falls; planning en route; shopping; sleep.
Wednesday. Here we go. Kinda. Ermph. Oh. Oooo. [Thud.]