Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

May 10th, 2012

I think at GITMO they made people “conversation ready”. I get it now, @deconstructo.

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RT @sylmobile: There is never a good reason to watch Peter Reith on the television. [There is. The entire gay porn industry might’ve gone.]

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What the fuck does “work ready” even mean? Nasty bullshit newspeak, that is! “You child may now become a cog.” 40% can speak to import cogs.

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TheHouseOfWTF Justin Bieber Never Say Never DVD: $10.99. Tub of vaseline: $4.99. Tissues: $3.50. Small cucumber: $1.50. Look on cashier’s face: Priceless.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:16 PM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Like what Oils song ever went longer than 35 minutes, @R_Chirgwin? Any? Softcocks.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

At least I had the decency to listen to prog rock.

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And you thought you were SO cool when you got pissed on those free kegs when the Oils plays during O Week. HAHAHAHAHAH! This ia YOUR fault!

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“Sydney’s new coastal National Park to be preserved in perpetuity.” (The eyesore that is Malabar Headland FOR EVAH!)

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“Inspiring young Australians to get work ready.” ($500,000 now available under the Youth Development and Support Program. So, 10c per kid.)

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“Arts funding enriches school education.” ($6 million, so… about $1 per schoolkid?)

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The following headlines have been brought to you RIGHT NOW by the lead singer of Midnight Oil. Get read to rock on, groovers!

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By the way, earlier, did you really all start telling me when you started gettng pubic hair? What the fuck is wrong with you?

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There are some who might say I could use some ketamine right now but I don’t know any of those people.

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I want some of what Mr Abbott is on because it seems better than both ketamine and red Smarties.

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The right to study what you think best for your future removed because free markets are the answer. Oh wait.

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Compulsory education camps, apparently.

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I’ve probably had enough of today. But I’m not sure. We’ll see.

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Monsters from the Id…

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Tho I suppose my market has never been white middle class westerners who bought the whole catalog and still feel guilty and seek Meaning.

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My deepest fear is that I’ll end up like @alaindebotton, tweeting platitudes and pleonasms that others mistake for wisdom and retweet.

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YES YOUR HAIR IS GREEN YOU AWESOME FUCKING REBEL AGAINST THE OVERLORDS YOU OH GOD YOU ARE SO PATHETIC.

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Fuck! I mean, I like @mrtonymartin’s work. Mostly. But I just fell for RTing a guy who fell for Palmer’s troll. I HAVE NOT BEEN DRINKING!

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mrtonymartin Clive Palmer calls budget a misuse of money. ‘Now, let me get back to my plan to build an exact replica of the Titanic’.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:46 PM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

I’ve never seen so many autoerotic asphyxiation “jokes” in my life! It’s like I’ve discovered a new slow and easy dimension!

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So @BernardKeane retweeting @KerriSackville is like crossing the streams. Discuss.

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RT @paulwiggins: Quite so. But the print brands can add gravitas to other platforms. @catscram [True, as I found when dead-tree’d recently.]

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If I started a band I’d kill myself.

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@catscram @paulwiggins @NewspaperWorld It’s the end of a long day, so I’m starting to lose focus and care factor. Old ground for me.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to catscram

@catscram @paulwiggins @NewspaperWorld But to my first point, that’s not “newspaper” but a video stream. Fairfar is not “a newspaper”…

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RT @ApostrophePong: Oh dear, I got reimburse in cash of 44 bills. They can’t fit in my wallet! [Sanook MAAAAAAAAK!!!]

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RT @S7U: Jesus - I don’t think playing “Broken Wings” by Mr. Mister will ease the situation. [Let’s see! youtube.com/watch?v=aWyeVf… Yeah! Sure!]

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@catscram Very few want to shape their own news choices. “Tell me what’s going on” is the news outlet’s JOB. @paulwiggins @NewspaperWorld

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@catscram But do you think any more than a tiny few percent of people will ever approach news like this? @paulwiggins @NewspaperWorld

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RT @barrysaunders: For only 100k my Kickstarter project will create drones that automatically target TED conferences. [$100 from me now.]

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@catscram Orly? When did you last get up in the morning and, to orient your day, “searched” for “content”? @paulwiggins @NewspaperWorld

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If in doubt or faced with a stressful situation, play music from when you first noticed your pubic hair.

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Where are you, and why?

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@catscram @paulwiggins @NewspaperWorld And TV worked out that “TV drama” wasn’t pointing a camera at a stage play but, like, “The Wire”.

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@catscram @paulwiggins @NewspaperWorld Just like radio eventually worked out that radio journalism wasn’t reading newspaper stories…

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@catscram @paulwiggins @NewspaperWorld I reckon as long as they keep thinking of themselves as “newspapers” doing” video” they’re stuffed…

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RT @lorenamercado: Julia Gillard has really let herself go instagr.am/p/Kb_M3ng3wx/

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@tristankenney Ta. I’ll deal with the sysadmin when I’m not at the pub. Not that I’m drinking, of course. As you’ll have seen.

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I could so go a game of Sink right now.

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So we’re falling for Mr Palmer’s trolling again? [“Mr Palmer”? Isn’t there a saying…?] Oh you poor, poor poodles!

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@NewspaperWorld @paulwiggins “…whether video produced by newspaper journalists can dominate living rooms”? Yes. “Game of Thrones” quakes.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to NewspaperWorld

@sylmobile Today is Setting Orange, the 57th day of Discord in the YOLD 3178.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to sylmobile

The most damning indictment of Apple’s OS X, and proof that it’s just bullshit, is that it doesn’t have “ddate”.

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The real path to success is to wear a singlet and be tanned, fit, and really quite stupid.

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I’m not judgemental, @j_hutch, you know that.

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So apparently there’s a thing called Cherry Sambuca.

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OH: “No, no… The song is called ‘Glycerine’, not ‘Vaseline’.”

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Also, I haven’t been drinking.

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You know it’s still your local when (1) you’re saying hello but they’ve already sorted your drink without asking; (2) publican abuses you.

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So it turns out that Abraham Lincoln didn’t have a prior patent on Facebook, but they SO wanted to believe. theatlantic.com/technology/arc…

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jeamland Now the hipster is making chicken noises.

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 5:08 PM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

I haven’t been drinking.

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Fuck. I just realised I RTed a TechCrunch link. Sorry, everyone!

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“Ride me, Pony! Ride me!” instagr.am/p/Kb7qY2iFgs/

via Instagram

Psirens. ETA 15 mins.

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@vanderaj Going the Hunter S seems the sensible route, surely?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to vanderaj

paulbradshaw Ustream Says Russian Citizen Journalist Is The Focus Of Today’s Attack tcrn.ch/J2yKoP

via Seesmic (retweeted on 4:29 PM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@dobes @vealmince I like it when you sing to me. I like it quite a lot.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to dobes

Those posts were read by far fewer people that I reach today but they generally generated far more comments. Now it’s all tweets, and lost.

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March 2007: “Stay alert, ye nameless, toiling animals” stilgherrian.com/politics/stay_…

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October 2008: “Gonzo Twitter 1: Saturday Evening in Newtown” stilgherrian.com/sydney/gonzo-t…

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October 2010: “Return of the Hallucinating Goldfish: Help!” stilgherrian.com/hallucinating-…

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I am now going to tweet links to three old blog posts to show you how much my world, and yours, has changed.

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@dobes @vealmince But the whole point of old people is to put songs in your head and candy in… oh… never mind.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to dobes

@vealmince Yes. I had to take hold of the wheels and turn them around. I’m gonna let things slide, until the pressure comes down.

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Take the pressure down, ‘cos I can feel it. It’s rising like a storm. Take hold of the wheels and turn them around.

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So many difficult questions today!

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Wondering whether I should turn imagination into reality.

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Mate, I don’t care if you push your sunnies on close. If you emerge from the brothel in broad daylight I’ll still be able to recognise you.

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@craigthomler No, not A/B testing. It’s Lab/Lib testing on government websites.

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@hughstephens I’ve had a catering firm say they wanted their menus, with prices, as PDFs because “We don’t want the prices on the website”.

via TweetDeck in reply to hughstephens

@hughstephens It’s the website-as-brochure mentality. Put what’s in the brochure in the website, ut saves us sending a brochure.

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Thing #1 done. Mobile so I can do Thing #2.

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“Download the e-brochure.”

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Experiencing mild astonishment.

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Right. Time to do the next two things. Track that, paranoids!

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SupratimA Conroy hits back at Turbull calls him lazy, financially illiterate or equal measures of both | bit.ly/J2rOYW

via Twitter for Websites (retweeted on 3:05 PM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@eddit0r I’m going to be shot down by @ProfBrianCox’s Ring of Wonder now, aren’t I?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to eddit0r

@eddit0r Sure. But I’m also seeing who’s salivating the most. And I’m guessing the vast majority of Big Data comes from human activities.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to eddit0r

RT @mikko: Bar bouncers requesting to see your ID and your Facebook profile: yhoo.it/LRWnXo [No scope creep there…]

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Remember, Kids, when anyone talks about Big Data they mean YOUR data. Your life, data mined for THEM. Don’t be conned.

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I suspect some arsehat will imagine that’s a party-political point, but it’s about humanirty, world experience, and joined-up thinking.

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I think someone needs to take Mr Christopher Pyne on an extended tour visiting actual people. I’m happy to translate for him.

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Whoever said we’re not classy in the Blue Mountains just doesn’t understand. sbs.com.au/news/article/1… HT @no_filter_Yamba

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SnarkyPlatypus I CAN SEE YOU HAVING MOJITOS, MOTIVATION FAIRY.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:43 PM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@phbarratt @ApostrophePong I’m thinking a scouting trip to Thai-Laos border in mid-2013 and then work up a story for early 2014.

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@phbarratt @ApostrophePong It’s really sounding like there’s a good excuse for a 20th anniversary story here.

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Shut up I am reading @crikey_news now. That will calm me down. Oh wait.

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RT @leslienassar: Listen, you can’t just hang people because they piss you off. [Oh you really have no idea how politics works, do you!]

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At least Certain Establishments respect my status…

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“Here is a article about how I make pizza.” “BUT IT DOESN’T MENTION HOW I PUT CHOCOLATE INTO MY CAKES!”

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I’ve just thought of a strategy for handling people who tweet without reading the article first. Will be implemented soon.

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RT @stilgherrian I see the Reading Comprehension and Critical Thinking Fairies have taken the day off again. [Sure have, Bro!]

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So, @smperris @jplonie, I mention again that the question was “personal safety” and what does the effing second-last paragraph say?

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Knowing where I am not is surely more about your personal safety, @jplonie, not mine.

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Sniffy Sniffy dogs at Central station.

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I bet she’s never had sex with a juicy tomato. Pics or it didn’t happen.

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@baralong @RavneelChand I also draw your attention to the second-last paragraph.

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@baralong @RavneelChand The question was specifically about personal safety, but much the same arguments apply. Opportunistic vs targetted.

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New blog post: “Why tweeting my movements isn’t a safety risk” stilgherrian.com/internet/why-t… Ping @RavneelChand

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Crossing the Nepean.

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From the Upper to the Lower.

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@ApostrophePong Let’s have another go at the arithmetic and call it 20 years, shall we? Sorry, @phbarratt!

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@RavneelChand Overall, I reckon it increases my personal safety. My steps can be retraced if I fail to arrive somewhere. Happy to expand.

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RT @NickEvershed: Feral cats out of control in Nth Qld: bit.ly/KnOE0S [So if we think through what the word “feral” means…]

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@ApostrophePong Mr Wales’ Fact-O-Wiki says 8 April 2014 would be the 3th anniversary of the brighe opening. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thai%E2%8… @phbarratt

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ApostrophePong

@ApostrophePong If I were to visit the bridge, I’d try to arrange proper access. Maybe on an anniversary. @phbarratt

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@Colvinius “Based on advice from Goldman Sachs, NBN Co plans to arrange debt funding progressively from 2015” alp.org.au/agenda/nbn/nbn…

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Mobile: Cab, shortly, to Wentworth Falls; 1132 train to Sydney Central; train to Town Hall station; 1335 walk to SEKRIT hotel and check in.

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DD @GiovanniTorre While I was in Perth the other day I was briefed on the Liberals’ secret time travel policy machine. Shall I send pics?

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@Colvinius Do you find it odd that no-one’s made political mileage out of Goldman Sachs being the ones modelling the eventual NBN sell-off?

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bunjaree Those photos were taken at Wattle Cottage in March, but the birds involved found me at Waratah Cottage this week, clearly recognising me. ^S

via Janetter for Mac (retweeted on 10:55 AM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

bunjaree The cuckoo-doves are bigger, but there’s only two of them. flickr.com/photos/stilghe… The rosellas, more numerous. flickr.com/photos/stilghe… ^S

via Janetter for Mac (retweeted on 10:55 AM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

bunjaree There’s a constant low-level war going on between the crimson rosellas and the slender-billed cuckoo doves. ^S

via Janetter for Mac (retweeted on 10:55 AM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@phbarratt Wasn’t Gareth always grumpy? ;) I’d love to visit the bridge some day, for a variety of reasons. @ApostrophePong

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Full program for tomorrow’s @saasu Cloud Conference, from which I’ll do… something. saasu.com/2012/05/08/saa… Liveblog > tweets?

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Thu plan, updated: Same as twitter.com/#!/stilgherria… but I’ll take the 1132 train to Sydney instead. CBFed rushing today. You’ll cope.

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I see the Reading Comprehension and Critical Thinking Fairies have taken the day off again.

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@expectproblems Sometimes I wonder how you spend your mornings…

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The Monotreme is right. Adding today’s M-word to the filters really does help.

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@peterhau @mattdasilva I’m skimming what you’re writing, gentlemen. I’m just busy on something else for the moment. I’ll catch up later.

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Open living room curtains at Waratah Cottage. Outside, six crimson rosellas turn to look at me, asking to be fed.

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mikko To fight DVD piracy, they’re going to add yet another warning screen that can only be avoided by engaging in piracy. df4.us/jp5

via Twitterrific (retweeted on 7:52 AM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@peterhau @mattdasilva I think all you’re identifying there is that “tech journalism” is many different things, served by different outlets.

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RT @firstdogonmoon: Reform agenda lost in class war! oh nooooooo [Have you checked behind the sofa?]

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I think it’s important that an Australian political leader do things because an American political leader has done them. Natural order, etc.

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[Assume for now that this tweet contains a well-crafted joke about Julia Gillard, gay marriage, same-isotope carbon-atom unions and lies.]

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RT @mattdasilva: The only IT stories worth reading have to do with privacy. Everything else is just chatter. [Curiously narrow focus…]

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@piawaugh Isn’t there a simple switch, a one-liner, to put in your HTML to change compatibility modes in IE8?

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“There was a problem with your picture. You must upload an image.” You’re stuck with Mr Dunstan for a while, it seems.

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@peterhau Sorry, blame me. I was writing for @jayrosen_nyu there, with a bunch of assumed background between us on this issue.

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Kroger/Costello shitfest - gotta love these random factional things. [I read “fictional”, thought “slash”, and then…]

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Or, @jayrosen_nyu, maybe even @BernardKeane’s perpetual present crikey.com.au/2010/02/19/pet… writ in cocaine. I call it the Hallucinating Goldfish.

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Maybe the REAL problem, @jayrosen_nyu, is hyper-caffeinated gamification of tech mastheads techmeme.com/lb and individual stories.

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Today I also want to plan for the next “Patch Monday” podcast. Ideally, I’d record in Sydney on Saturday. (Vendor PR, please don’t call.)

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Thu plan: Bump out Waratah Cottage; 1032 train to Sydney; lunch (where?); errand Newtown/Enmore; write something; evening TBA.

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@jayrosen_nyu There’s also something re key reportage being “What’s the latest cool toy? I WANT !” I’m considered weird for calling out BS.

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@jayrosen_nyu No argument there! Also Crikey/UTS work showed tech journalism had highest %age of stories the direct result of PR activity.

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@jayrosen_nyu One key problem, even sharper in coverage of the startup scene, is that most “journalists” are true believers.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jayrosen_nyu

jayrosen_nyu The more completely the sources control information on a given beat, the more consistently the reporting will suck. Discuss.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:42 AM, May 10th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Fursday. And already the day has become confusing, for rreasons which I may or may not relate a little later.

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