Thud.
Goodness me @mpesce didn’t take his pre-radio tablet today. abc.net.au/worldtoday/con…
Pollytics Ross Vasta - Liberal MP for Bonner - wants to destroy the NBN, yet demands it’s built quicker in his electorate bit.ly/OJDF0V
@hughstephens You’re re-numbering the bosses? As if their remuneration wasn’t enough of a problem! #iftalks
@joshgnosis Well that’s prima facie evidence that ACMA should revoke the station’s license.
Right. He’s now been regexp’d from arsehole to breakfast time.
@joshgnosis FUCKING HELL MAKE UP YOUR MIND WHICH HASHTAG YOU ARE USING SO I CAN BLOCK YOU JESUS MOTHERFUCKING DONKEY FART EXPLOSIONS.
@ABCenvironment “Super-trawler” is an IMO classification then, right? I mean, the ABC would never use bullshit words… #fisting
In the future, which is now, there are only two forms of human interaction. Carriage service. And laneway bar.
@andrew_hedge @GeordieGuy I love the extra charge. He wasn’t just offensive, HE WAS OFFENSIVE USING AN INTERNET TELEPHONE HORSE TAXI.
“Using a carriage service to offend”? That’s a crime? I thought it was a job description. @GeordieGuy @andrew_hedge
@SnarkyPlatypus Further evidence for my theory that a zeitgeist isn’t something clever but an old tram from Warsaw.
@franksting Here’s the conversation in question. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
New blog post: “Talking the dotcom collapse on Balls Radio, FM 99.3”, with tonight’s audio 11 mins. stilgherrian.com/conversations/…
@franksting Other way round. @alanzeino blasted me for something I said, missing the concept “hyperbole”. I laughed and laughed. #upnext
@gnutelephony @Asher_Wolf Surely .com is more corrupt than .org?
timsterne No matter what Tony Abbott has said, there’s no reason to start retweeting Deveny.
“The following Internet domain name has been registered: corruptednerds.com”, so that’ll help. #corruptednerds
And that’s the radio done. I’ll post a poddy podcast of it a bit later.
On hold to talk dotcom bubble burst and corrupted nerds on FM99.3, with a stream at fm993.com.au
@ataraxite Final reading of the Cybercrime Legislation Amendment Bill 2011.
I get the feeling @SenatorLudlam will need a very stuff drink later tonight. Possibly two.
So, my fellow #corruptednerds, how can we destroy the planet today? MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SenatorLudlam BREAKING: “corrupted nerds” cited as the reason for sweeping expansion of surveillance powers aph.gov.au/live #corruptednerds
Steve_Lockstep ‘Political observation in AU is like watching a guy on a couch trying to eat pre-chewed food out of his chest hair’ abc.net.au/unleashed/2800…
@TurnbullMalcolm You know, there’s a reason @R_Chirgwin *sounds* like a cantankerous old grump… [ducks]
NewtonMark Senator Xenophon mounts a compelling, convincing case for never meeting anyone, ever.
@rubyblue70 @GreenJ Um, no, I meant that was paraphrasing Pickering’s comment. :) I’m not QUITE that confident.
In 30 mins (1915 AEST) I’m talking the collapse of the second dotcom boom with @phildobbie on Sydney FM99.3, stream at fm993.com.au
RT @drunkenmadman: Five minutes to tease out an admission that Skydrive Pro is just SharePoint workspace. REBRAND ALL THE THINGS!!
@rubyblue70 @GreenJ “Hot in the kitchen”? No, just conspiracy theorist logic, I reckon: Just read what I write and you’ll agree with me.
@ozdj The ABC has announced that creating a Facebook page is now a crime, and Larry PIckering says he doesn’t need documented evidence.
@rosieryan Sadly no. But I do approve of the ABC criminalising the use of Facebook. I think @abcmarkscott would use this power wisely.
@rosieryan This was in the 1800 AEST news on the ABC Radio National live stream, Peter Wilson reading but a female journo did the story.
“The site shows a picture of Meyer with the US Capitol building in the background, not the state Capitol in Albany.” Oh, such details!
“The pink inspiration for the website came from Elle Woods, Reese Witherspoon’s character in the movie ‘Legally Blonde’.”
“”I have a very creative side to me,” Meyer told 1010 WINS. “I just chose to channel those energies into the website.” newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/07/24/22-…
I’m looking at Pickering’s blog right now, @GreenJ, and Part V is the latest. There is no part VII. lpickering.net/blog/1 #abcrn
Dear @abcnews, a man was “charged with setting up a Facebook page”? ORLY? I agree it SHOULD be a crime, but I suspect you’re a bit wrong.
Richard Herring’s synopsis of every “Twilight Zone” episode ever: “it’s either the Devil, an angel, they’re already dead, or it’s Earth.”
Listening to @charltonbrooker explain how they advertise Lynx. “It’s just like women hurling vaginas at men.”
RT @NewtonMark: It’s 2012. Why isn’t “ip classless” enabled by default in Cisco IOS? [Carbon tax.]
“Am I white enough for you?”asks @nomadiquemc blogs.crikey.com.au/northern/2012/… Sure, but the beard doesn’t work for me, sorry.
Also, “The many types of rape - as defined by the world’s politicians and celebrities” by @lukeayresryan thevine.com.au/life/news/the-…
MalorieCalorie DO NOT RETWEET ME IF YOUR NOT FLIPPING FOLLOWING ME!! K?
“Pregnant Woman Relieved To Learn Her Rape Was Illegitimate” theonion.com/articles/pregn…
Suddenly realising that tonight is my last night in the Blue Mountains before at least two weeks of travelling.
RT @Pollytics: “Will the Prime Minister clarify her knowledge of lizard people” - just asking questions
@feed_the_chooks I recommend that at midnight tonight you stand on a street corner and shout that repeatedly at passing cars.
That means my next commitment is @phildobbie’s @BallsRadio at 1915 AEST on Sydney FM99.3 and stuff. Time for a rest? Or a walk?
Recording with @jturner_ibrs abandoned. With us both on mobile links, and him at an airport, we couldn’t get a clean data link.
Setting up to record with @jturner_ibrs via that Skype thing for the next “Patch Monday” podcast. YES I AM PLANNING AHEAD BECAUSE TRAVEL.
We’re talking a scenic route instagr.am/p/OlE5cbiFvp/
RT @feed_the_chooks Impeach the wind. [Is this Kate Bush’s new song?]
Returning to @bunjaree via Double Bay on Hill instagr.am/p/OlEPOkiFvS/
Me: Gas cartridges? Her: Here. Enough? There’s more out back. Me: Yes, I’ll set them off all at once. instagr.am/p/OlBKOhCFuL/
Henry’s place, with spelling instagr.am/p/OlAmKBiFt5/
Crime scene (pending) instagr.am/p/OlAOKJiFtr/
@willemrt I needed to get on with some work. Leaving would’ve mean disruption to that.
@SnarkyPlatypus I believe that yesterday someone suggested hanging them. And it wasn’t me.
Almost collided with the waiter as I came from the bathroom. She apologised in a cheery sing-song voice. Seemed to be… disconnected.
By my count that was at least 40 mins with an empty glass, perhaps even 50 mins. Cafe seats 60. One waiter / barista, I think 2 in kitchen.
I have a beer.
OH, loudly, from the kitchen: “Well that’s not my problem, I’m leaving at 3.30.”
STOP THE STOPWATCH I HAVE BEEN SERVED WELL MY ORDER FOR ANOTHER BEER HAS BEEN TAKEN SO THAT IS HALF THE BATTLE.
Thanks, @tredlgt @timClicks. I can’t see the back room properly. Might be only 40 seats. But this waiter is by herself, making coffee too.
Can anyone who’s run a cafe tell me how many waiters you’d have for, say, 50 seats at lunchtime. Full dining menu, licensed.
@snerdish @whiteswine @jeamland @S7U @staticsan @ret56fe All excellent suggestions. A shame I don’t have the pistol.
I’ve pretty much lost all desire for another ale now. I just want to find out how long it’ll actually take to be served.
Hah! She needed specials-list-on-stand thing, just whipped it off another patron’s table without a word let alone an “excuse me”.
I grant you that the place is reasonably full, but being understaffed or incompetently staffed to deal with that is still a failure.
For the last 10 mins I’ve been turned sideways in my seat, watching the waiter. She’s come twice more to next table. Complete tunnel vision.
The kangaroo was adequate, @RatbagsDotCom, but nothing to crow about. Overall fairly ordinary.
That’s twenty minutes with an empty glass, minimum. Fear now, I shall certainly name names.
A chap with a trolley has just arrived delivering, inter alia, two cartons of pre-made fries, wheeling them through the cafe to the kitchen.
The waiter has been to tables 5 times, 3 of them right next to mine. Not once has she cast gaze around the room, noticed my raised hand.
It appears that this waiter has both tunnel vision and an inability to cope with events at more than one table at a time.
@gabfran @SnarkyPlatypus Speaking of which… checking… yes, I’m still Google’s number one result for “neocon sex kitten”.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Is Julie Bishop cat clawing at other women again? [Only in our never-ending leather-clad fantasies. Sigh.]
So, Dear Editors, this game of “Your NBN plan is bullshit, here’s my random unrelated rhetoric”, can anyone have a go?
OH: “The things we got away with in New Zealand, oh my God! And let’s not even start on Queensland.”
“Google’s disclosure on paid bloggers not good enough” technologyspectator.com.au/googles-disclo…
Also, someone has most recently been smoking a large, aromatic joint. Also, “Knights in White Satin”. THIS KANGAROO HAD BETTER BE GOOD.
RT @andrewdotnich: It can enter your head, but it can never leave… [In my case, the song. In her case, the knife. That’s “balance”.]
So “Hotel California” is playing and another patron is humming along to it. I can ask the waiter to bring a fresh steak knife after, right?
RT @ThomasAlanB: I have maroon jeans and even I want to punch myself in the face. [Maybe we could invent some sort of drinking game.]
So, I’ve found a cafe that can provide both kangaroo steak and Mountain Goat Steam Ale. This may turn out OK.
Hurry! They have internets! instagr.am/p/OkxX06iFk2/
Look this is all well and good, and the winter ale is delightful, but with your kitchen being closed I must now hunt down actual food.

RT @juhasaarinen: There was a distinctively uneasy feeling amongst passengers on the bus today. pic.twitter.com/Lj8dEUwN
“All TechEd participants will receive a surgical RFID headband implant… forces you to attend [or] electrical shocks.” juha.saarinen.org/8184
@bengrubb @joshgnosis Yes, Ben, “talk of the town”. I’ll leave you with that belief. #lemsipmidorigate
RT @geeksrulz: Shorter Roxon: What value do journalists still add these days Mr Kelly. #abcnews24
@joshgnosis @bengrubb It has not only been publicised but mildly ridiculed around a barroom table. #lemsipmidorigate
RT @jeffsonstein: okay, let us now try poster.ly for our cross-posting pleasure [Yeah, I just KNEW you liked to frock up!]
@bengrubb “Why”? Lemsip and Midori.
So, do I want to go to Microsoft Tech.Ed on the Gold Coast? australia.msteched.com
Final replug: Oh. So there’s this. “The 9pm Edict” episode 21. stilgherrian.com/edict/00021/
@joneaves She is not alone. She is with a gentleman friend. But there are clean indications that breeding will never be an issue for him.
RT @joneaves: If she’s not bred yet, there’s still hope for humanity. [snip] [Alas, there were clear signs that menopause was a memory.]
She. Asked. The. Barman. To. Put. Ice. In. Her. Wine. What. Even. Kill. Me. Now.
Please be showing some respect and maturity and not be ordering something called a “sem sav”. Faux familiarity brands you as a prole.
The kitchen at The Old City Bank is closed for “a deep clean”. And they don’t have my black beanie. The sheer incompetence I have to endure!
“Maroon jeans” is an anagram of “oxygen thief”.
So that’s those three guys in there instagr.am/p/OkqbmUCFut/
Listening to three young men who imagine they’re the height of hilarity explain that they’ve nicknamed their friend Clementine “chlamydia”.
If I were the NRL, I’d be a bunch of fat white blokes imagining they had some sort of relevance.
It arrives, I board instagr.am/p/OkpPwAiFtp/
Our urban decay instagr.am/p/Okotu6CFtB/
Our crowded transit hub instagr.am/p/OkoidXiFs7/
Spring, it has sprung (with motion blur) instagr.am/p/OkoRYtCFss/
So fuck you, Frank Gehry! instagr.am/p/Okn4P0CFsT/
Mechanical aquatic mysteries instagr.am/p/Okni5XiFr-/
Lunchtime rush instagr.am/p/OkmxdhiFrO/
I think what I shall do right now is amble slowly through this beautiful spring day to Wentworth Falls and catch the 1200 train to Katoomba.
So, here I am discussing magic vaginas with @LaTrioli. This is what my life has become.
RT @LaTrioli: I think Family Planning Australia should change their name to “Ways to Shut that Whole Thing Down”. [They have magic vaginas?]
@elronxenu Yeah it seems a lot of people get stuck on step 1, or even before. It’s a personal annoyance.
“The general aesthetic could be best described as haute-Blingee.”
Hah! @meyer4nysenate, “web’s first troll candidate” salon.com/2012/07/31/min… HT @kristinmoore2 Ping @SnarkyPlatypus
@jplonie @jojoeffe I am not sure that you’re helping @SnarkyPlatypus’s situation. But thank you.
Richard Herring on Russia’s Eurovision entry: “How many dried-up moistureless holes do you need before you lust is sated?”
Pro Tip: How to throw away all the things: 1. Throw away things. 2. Repeat step 1 until there are no more things.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: Email has gone down. Only Twitter can distract me from work now. [EMERGENCY! Please send links to this poor monotreme!]
Oh dear. My thought just then was “I really should go to lunch soon”. Then I looked at the time. 0825. Houston, we have a problem.
Catching up on a few weeks of @marcfennell’s @DownloadABC while I do unspeakable things.
Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! Go Mindy! @meyer4nysenate
I also see that 22yo @meyer4nysenate is living proof that it’s NEVER too young for a NY Jewish Princess to deploy leopard fur patterns! Yay!
‘No more “Hunger Games” in our District!’ Go @meyer4nysenate! mindymeyer4senate.com/issues.html
@NewtonMark YOU MUST ALLOW THE QUICKTIME PLUGIN TO DELIVER THE FULL AND COMPLETE EXCELLENCE OF HER POLITICAL STRATEGY.
Oh @meyer4nysenate’s website theme music perfectly reflects her moral compass and Orthodox Jewish culture in general. Hats off! Pants off!
OH THIS IS SO VERY SPESHUL, MINDY! LOVE THE MUSIC! mindymeyer4senate.com HT @NewtonMark
Ah hashtagging all the words in your political tweets, the green biro of the internet!
If an IT vendor has separate “enterprise” and “consumer” products, it’s a clear sign they simply don’t understand “cloud” or “BYOD”.
Whenever IT vendors talk about “enterprise products” it’s a reminder that what they sell you and me is their shit stuff.
@markatextor Something like Churchill’s “blood, toil, sweat etc” speech is unimaginable today. Yet it rallied the people. Tho GFC != war.
@markatextor Indeed. And I guess my point is that position is hypocritical, political leaders need to tell ‘em to HTFU occasionally.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: “The Monkees weren’t about music… They were about rebellion… political and social upheaval!” [OMFG JUST LIKE STEPS!]
Tue plan v2: Desqualor; quick audio edit; lunch & errands Katoomba; 1630 “Patch Monday” recording; writing Consilium presentation; TGIT.
@markatextor @SnarkyPlatypus Yeah, listening in the cold light of day I’m not sure my edit made that clear before I ripped into you. :/
@SnarkyPlatypus @R_Chirgwin “Graphity” is a thing, but the story doesn’t seem to indicate knowledge of that.
@R_Chirgwin @Pollytics It would be EVEN MOAR OARSUM if we oiled him in graphitas!
+10 RT @R_Chirgwin: @Pollytics Honestly, “oiling Pickering in gravitas” is an utter wonder of wordsmithing. Please accept my admiration.
Pollytics When Paul Kelly has finished oiling Pickering in gravitas, he could always pop over to the Citizens Election Council for some hot story tips
THIS IS THE HOLY GRAIL OF SCIENCE REPORTING! news.com.au/technology/sci… HT @R_Chirgwin
@johnthelutheran Examples: Suggest Dawkins is unnecessarily rude. Suggest science isn’t needed if folk-tradition chiropractic brings relief.
@johnthelutheran “Dawkins-type atheists” support free thinking. Provided your thinking is exactly like theirs.
Upon reflect that “Tue plan” is completely unworkable. Let’s have another go.
Tue plan: Desqualour The Studio; bookkeeping while listening to podcasts; lunch & errands Katoomba; write Consilum presentation; TGIT.
@sylmobile @bleeters I’m already WAY ahead of you with knowing how this weeks. I need a commercial license. I just need to get a quote.
@SnarkyPlatypus I suggest you listen to just the first two minutes of this week’s “Patch Monday” podcast…
@bleeters I want to be able to use specific songs to make a point, not just fill up time with music, so APRA|AMCOS licensing is needed.
RT @ozdj: And all of these remind me of… zug.com/pranks/credit/ (annoyingly split up over multiple pages) [Yep. Signatures fail a bit.]
Note to self: Get quote for an APRA|AMCOS license for “The 9pm Edict” so I can use all the musics. Further note: Get someone to pay for it.
@ozdj Not a new observation. An Aust TV show did it years ago with test photo-equipped credit cards. Cards with photos of a dog accepted.
Via @ozdj, Teenager uses fake ID with picture of cartoon character to buy alcohol at SIX different shops dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2…
Not very related but it’s a semi-fave, my “The tweets must flow, except when they risk revenue” from Jan 2012. crikey.com.au/2012/01/31/the…
Sort of related, my “When is a journalist not a journalist?” from Dec 2011. abc.net.au/unleashed/3721…
“Twitter and journalism - where does the reporting end?” is yesterday’s conversation between @MargaretGees and me. storify.com/MargaretGees/t…
Today will involve Katoomba, somehow.
@SnarkyPlatypus Actually @markatextor was there channeling “what voters think” rather than his own thoughts. I did a context fail. :/
@markatextor BTW, @glengyron told me that the term “social license” you used Sunday comes from the mining industry. Is that the case?
RT @markatextor: @stilgherrian @sylmobile @stephenfry gawd. Seagull sh*t looks like certain cheeses. :-P [Ashed camembert comes to mind…]
RT @sylmobile: I had an odd dream that featured @stephenfry, @markatextor, a seagull and French cheese. [Seek. Medical. Attention.]
@KyBusiness As @R_Chirgwin pointed out, it’s more embarrassing when you consider that it’s an OLD scam. “Look at who saw you!” is basic.
Genetic engineering. Because the world needs glow-in-the-dark sushi. bitrebels.com/design/glow-in…
RT: Oh. So there’s this. “The 9pm Edict” episode 21. stilgherrian.com/edict/00021/
@SnarkyPlatypus Oui, je l’ai observé le phénomène. Peut-être que nous ne devrions jamais parler d’elle à nouveau. Il s’agit d’un cadeau.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis mécontent, et irritée. Peut-être que cela va passer. Et vous?
Tuesday? Already? Well I suppose…