Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

August 28th, 2012

Here’s @thewireradio’s story on Apple vs Samsung by @TawarRazaghi quoting me. thewire.org.au/storyDetail.as…

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@OrkneyLibrary But… there’d be a supplementary income stream in kidnapping authors and holding them for ransom. Please consider.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to OrkneyLibrary

RT @mikko: Java Runtime Environment = Perpetual Vulnerability Machine. f-secure.com/weblog/archive… [That’s a bit cruel, @mikko.]

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@AnnabelAstbury Thanks for the heads-up. I think I can wring another half start out of this thing, though, maybe a whole one.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to AnnabelAstbury

@PointZeroOne I honestly don’t know. If only I tweeted where I was or set the location field or did SOMETHING to give people a clue…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to PointZeroOne

I do wish that ministerial media advisors would stop emailing me about Tony Abbott and instead tell me what the government’s been doing.

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Gawd, towel spam is a thing. [shakes head sadly] twitter.com/Irena_Traugh/s…

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@ericalloyd it’s taken me all this time to figure out what you were talking about. Accommodation websites failed me, oddly enough.

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Stone fruit can be so confusing.

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So has anyone even tried to milk @leighsales, or is it all speculation?

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Australian political journalism plunges to new depths. What sort of arsehat even cares about this shit? news.com.au/national/tony-…

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Well I’ve never done THAT with a nectarine before! I need a towel now.

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@en_gy I’m fairly sure clotrimazole can fix that.

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I’m speaking at an event in Coffs Harbour in November. wired.ivvy.com/event/3EBQHX Worth staying on for the weekend?

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: @lewellyn @stilgherrian Nostalgia is one of the Seven Banal Sins. [And the others are?]

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RT @Jickle: @Serrels Remember Ayn Rand? She’s back! In Pog form. [HT @nanopunk]

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@lewellyn @SnarkyPlatypus Shut up, but yes. Tomorrow is the full party with [gulp] Jon Bon Jovi. A rebel media group is forming…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to lewellyn

@TawarRazaghi @thewireradio Great interview. To put it in context, here’s the Google/Motorola purchase I mentioned. forbes.com/sites/quentinh…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to TawarRazaghi

@SnarkyPlatypus This isn’t “IT people”, this is Teh Meejuh. Tonight was the global press and analyst welcome party.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

I’ve also recorded a chat about Apple vs Samsung for Balls Radio on Sydney’s FM99.3 at 1715 AEST, streamed from fm993.com.au

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Just recorded a chat about Apple vs Samsung for @thewireradio, on community radio Australia-wide at 1730 AEST, 2ser.com at 1800.

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@sydney_today Um, no, I’m at the InternContinental San Francisco, though the party was over at the St Regis (sorry @ICSF, VMware’s gig).

via Janetter for Mac in reply to sydney_today

@lewellyn Heh! Nah, the student journalist from @thewireradio will be calling shortly for a pre-record. Always happy to help ‘em.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to lewellyn

@mark_sup Well thanks for the feedback. Doing “Patch Monday” on a non-IT technology was an experiment.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mark_sup

Back at the InterContinental after a rather pleasant cocktail party over at the St Regis. Ready to be interviewed by @thewireradio

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OK, I have to go to cocktails now.

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HAHAHAHA! So yeah political strategists are such beacons of decorum, right?

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@ICSF Thanks very much. And the “little extras” are much appreciated.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ICSF

Back at @ICSF to pre-record my Balls Radio spot with @phildobbie via Skype then head to the global press and analysts reception.

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RT @jplonie: did try bother to define cloud first? [So, you clearly don’t know how PR Science works…]

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What’s the next “next big thing” trend? 37% big data; 46% post-PC (tablets etc); 11% social enterprise; 6% none of the above.

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Poll of attendees: Cloud is…? 43% real option today; 53% turning into viable option; 4% a long way from viable. [paraphrased]

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His predecessor Paul Maritz says VMware shares won’t suffer Facebook’s fate because VMware does something socially useful. [smirks]

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Gelsinger expresses mild concern about how industry being driven hype cycles, but surely it’s CEOs like him creating them?

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Incoming VMware CEO Pat Gelsinger is surprised how quickly “social” moved into and out of fad, e.g. Facebook.

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EMC CEO Joe Tucci, having worked in the industry for 42 years, reminds us there’s nothing new under the sun. Yes, we do forget.

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RT @oberonsghost: Do you know that each year there is a tradeshow for tradeshow suppliers? [I didn’t, but I’m not surprised one bit.]

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@marymad Well, there’s nothing unique there. Most cultures aren’t aware of their quirks, the things that others find odd.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to marymad

I haven’t found anything tweetworthy yet from this CEO Roundtable, but then I suppose I have heard these messages before.

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@marymad It’s not culture shock as such, since I’ve encountered it many times over the past couple of decades. But I still fine it weird.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to marymad

JennyEjlak Breaking: Giant Uterus Heading for Republican Convention pic.twitter.com/ZADGcfaP

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:06 AM, Aug 28th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

This session is being moderated by Chris Anderson, editor in chief at Wired. @VMware

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The press pen with tables is full instagr.am/p/O2WRAQiFge/

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It really is quite weird how Americans hold company CEOs in such awe.

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Coming up shortly, a roundtable with the CEOs of Dell, NetApp, VMware, EMC.

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A snippet if the trade show floor instagr.am/p/O2UHUjiFu9/

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: ‘Psychedelic electric folk’? Well that just explains everything, really.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Yes, Starship was spun off from Jefferson Starship, psychedelic electric folk band from San Francisco. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jefferson…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

RT @gilfer: Starship were probably on the right track. Imagine trying to navigate a city built on jazz.

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Just had a crash course in emerging security architectures for virtual data centres from VMware’s CTO Security. Brain imploded.

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Lunch in the press room was adequate. I’ve got an hour to explore the trade show floor before a briefing session.

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RT: “Patch Monday” podcast: “Geo-engineering: fixing climate for just US$6 billion” with @casparhewett @BjornLomborg zdnet.com/au/geo-enginee…

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Well, I just screwed up meeting one interviewee, so I’m having lunch instead.

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What’s even lamer, though, is people retweeting the hashtagged vendorspam.

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Already over the repetitive vendorspam hitting the hashtag. It makes you look cheap, guys.

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RT @jcolure: So, still a 2tb cap on vdisks with 5.1? Gotta laugh when CEO says they do big data

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RT @BMC_DevOps: Walk , feel sympathy for Customers — vendors w/same words, diff is spent $$ or $ to say them

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I don’t have to file on daily news cycle, so I can sit back and listen to the way language is used to frame the industry. Scary.

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The press conference is beyond standing room only to find a spot on the floor only instagr.am/p/O1ykd0CFmk/

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OH: “That violates the US Constitution.”

via Plume for Android

Sadly, no-one is being hanged yet. instagr.am/p/O1wTd2iFk8/

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If any folks have good Australian case studies in visualization to talk about, please grab me.

via Plume for Android

The Antipodean explains how to build a Big Data application using a cartoon elephant. instagr.am/p/O1vHa0iFkI/

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Applications are things you “consume”. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.

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“Approaching problems in new ways”? So “new” isn’t necessarily “right” or even “sensible”…

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Um, you “manage” your friends by sending them all the same message?

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This guy wants to make it social, as easy to manage VMs as his Facebook friends? Why not the other way around? Reboot your friends!

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You know, at 0959 and 59 seconds PDT we should have cut his mic and crossed to the newsroom for the headlines.

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YOU ARE RUNNING OVER TIME AND CUTTING INTO MY SCHEDULED COFFEE BREAK WHICH SHOWS A COMPLETE LACK OF RESPECT.

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Embracing the leverage.

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The press Wi-Fi has died. So have I, a little, inside.

via Cloudhopper

RT @FakeAPStylebook: Be sure to differentiate between Newt Gingrich the politician and newt gingrich the newt disease.

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I wonder what it was like, in the great age of steam and iron engineering, to attend the trade promotion of a steel girder company.

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I just don’t know what to make of people who cheer and applaud the announcement of a pricing model change.

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“Let’s get a little excited!” translated: More dopamine less critical thinking please.

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RT @S7U: @stilgherrian Ah, I see. I felt a similar bond in a Fleshlight user’s forum. Good times. [I can imagine. Mostly. ]

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Buzzphrase du jour: “Software-defined data centre”, strapline for the new vCloud Suite. Sigh.

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@S7U The “what” is these vendor conferences and the keynotes in particular. Tribal bonding for those who use the brand’s products.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to S7U

@ssharwood If I’d been their editor or executive producer that’d be grounds for a very blunt carpeting.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ssharwood

FFS! Some of them are even standing up to participate in the ovation for the outgoing VMware CEO. That’s just so, so wrong.

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It is really quite embarrassing to see journaists applauding the executives they’re reporting on. PROFESSIONAL DISTANCE PLEASE!

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RT @S7U: @stilgherrian Looks like a fucking Borg rally. [ALL of these events look like a fuckign Borg rally. It’s how it’s done. ]

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Waiting for actual content.

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The live video feed of all this is at bit.ly/PVvX7O

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So 5000 VMware customers and shareholders are now watching their money being pissed away… and they cheer.

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Fanfare to the All Too Common Derp instagr.am/p/O1jmbTiFtV/

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A VMware PR droid has just handed us all “a guide to the keynote”, so independent thought is now completely optional.

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The view from the press and analyst corral instagr.am/p/O1iPgfCFsh/

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AUTOTUNE ALL THE THINGS!

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Dear VMware, about the slogan “Right here, right now”? For every bar of Fatboy Slim I hear this week I will kill a kitten.

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I am in the keynote hall at the Moscone Centre. LET THE BULLSHIT BEGIN!

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A “ham and swiss breakfast quiche” is a thing. Apparently.

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“Excuse me, can you tell where the media centre is… oh thanks.” instagr.am/p/O1eagjCFqk/

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It’s 0730 PDT, so it’s time to pop down to the media working room for the breakfast. The media gets bottomless food and caffeine.

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