This makes perfect sense. dreamstime.com/stock-photogra… Ping @firstdogonmoon
@AnnabelAstbury “Fleeing the country”, that was, despite what my pre-0700 fingers tried to do there. HATING ALL THE FINGERS.
@AnnabelAstbury I have found that feeling the country helps in such cases. Also, hashtag filters.
“Julian Assange’s anger with the world explained”” youarenotaphotographer.com/its-the-creepe… @lewellyn @SnarkyPlatypus
Wed plan: Day 3 VMware #VMworld, 0800 breakfast thru meetings and interviews to 1900 party; also write ACCAN Conference presentation.
This, pretty much, is how I feel about my world most days. tragedyseries.tumblr.com/post/301300299…
I am starting my Wednesday now, and it hurst a little bit.
Collapsed.
@lewellyn This may come as a shock, so sit down first, but… i know how IRC works.
RT @SisterMorphine: I like this one bit.ly/OvKmaY It totally looks like some kind of demon child absorbing its parents life force.
@lewellyn It’s quite sweet that IRC is still a thing.
I would like to thank @firstdogonmoon and, presumably, @LethalLeigh for today’s cartoonery. It was a good choice.
@lewellyn Yeah all the #SMEG keep telling clients to Track All The Things, even though most then do sweet fuck all with the data.
Feedburner URLs shit me to tears. They should be banned from the internet.
Oh I love the subtlety here! youarenotaphotographer.com/bubbles/ HT @0x1C Ping @ApostrophePong
The PCI DSS Compliance conference in Sydney on 24 Sep is no-media. I guess the financial services industry wants to hide how shit it is.
Right. I’m going to work through closing browser tabs, deleting email and the like until the sleeping pill kicks in. Because sleep patterns.
@maradydd @VMMoncrieff @GreenJ My speculation on the “tiny man” imagery is that it’s marriage = submits to ball and chain?
@cxi That sounds a plan, and I’ll look at that in the morning once I figure out what my day will be like. Have a good one tonight!
@cxi Thanks Christopher. I’m in SFO until Monday, but I assume you’re heading home sooner?
Oh this is a bit special. “Awful photoshopped Russian wedding pictures,” via @VMMoncrieff @GreenJ sadanduseless.com/2011/02/awfull…
Back at the hotel, where it’s 2220 PDT, wondering whether I will choose to check my email or whether #CBF is the rule of the evening now.
OH: “I’m in San Francisco, is that appropriate?”
@cxi Alas, my jet lag us killing me. I’m calling it a night. I think. But contact has been made…
RT @SnarkyPlatypus I assume the Onion is running the Republican Conference.
Spinning out instagr.am/p/O5i1iViFqF/
@cxi O hai. Yeah, nice ears. And I’m still lurking here somewhere. For some reason. I’ll say hello shortly. @triple5adam
@SnarkyPlatypus @vealmince The consensus up here, seeing the stadium lights in the distance, is that they’re insane
So, he can move his ears with his brainwaves … because technology. instagr.am/p/O5d7b6CFm-/
Meanwhile, the NetApp party is .. um, they’ve rented out AT&T Stadium and they’re partying on the pitch.
Also, we have DJ Busy B on the decks, and an open “whatever you want” bar… so essentially nothing can go wrong.
Secret chicken cage business #vmworld instagr.am/p/O5W9avCFiI/
The view from the Sourcefire party is adequate #vmworld instagr.am/p/O5VsvAiFhd/
Right. VMware APJ region cocktail party at, um, somewhere now then another one for a vendor somewhere else. THIS IS MY PLAN. #vmworld
@garystark I’ve searched my suitcase thoroughly and there’s no dress or skirt at all. Disappoint.
Anyway, I have to get ready for the cocktail party, and then go to the party that happens after the first party.
Look, I’m trying to help.
RT @jeamland: OH: “The first rule of Oracle Enterprise Fight Club is $500,000.”
“Horny badgers of the ALP”? Oh sorry, I misread.
In their hands-on lab, VMware deploys two virtual data centres per participant, ~500 participants. Create/destroy a VM every 0.45s. #vmworld
RT @mpesce: “It’s like Makerbot meets Grindr.” nonstartr.com Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. [Do they have an office here?]
This is all a bit wrong.
VMware’s “big vision” is the Software-Defined Date Centre (SDDD), explained at blogs.enterprisemanagement.com/torstenvolk/20… #vmworld
Part 4 of FBI’s “Celebrating Women Special Agents” (links to parts 1-3 at the bottom). fbi.gov/news/stories/2…
Tired. Killing 30 mins before the media’s VMware Labs tour. Can’t be a real lab because it’s here at #vmworld and not, um, in a lab.
TheOnion “If you’ve got a gun or a knife and you want to kill someone, Chicago is the place to be right now.” onion.com/Rk3GVt
OH: “Can I see your actual thing?” #vmworld
@jplonie This entire trip is a failure. I haven’t had a single martini. @SnarkyPlatypus @franksting
I have a new-fangled thing too but I won’t have time to do things with it until the weekend.
I’ve had to leave the media lounge again because it has no windows and it smells of journalists. #vmworld
Scrolling leads to enlightenment.
@SnarkyPlatypus No, I have not been eating all the things. I have avoided the more disturbing things. @franksting @jplonie
@franksting @jplonie @SnarkyPlatypus ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE SAYING ARE VERY DISTURBING AND YOU SHOULD STOP NOW.
So @ssharwood are Australians and we’re improving the decorum in the media lounge, as is traditional. #vmworld
@SnarkyPlatypus Je l’amélioration de l’effet de levier. Je suis embrassant l’accélération. Tuez-moi maintenant. En outre, tuer @ssharwood.
RT @juhasaarinen: krebsonsecurity.com/2012/08/attack… Check your Java version… isjavaexploitable.com [Yes. Do this now. Very now.]
No pig. I has disappoint. :( #vmworld
OK, heading down to the trade show floor in order to have a pig thrust upon me. #vmworld
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Mon mental est en train d’être détruite. Encore plus que d’habitude. Et vous? Avez-vous bien dormi?
They are not “Asian vegetables”, trust me. #vmworld
1200 PDT. Heading back to the Moscone Centre for lunch in the media lounge, then at 1300 talking to Sourcefire, then more writing.
@swearyanthony I cannot argue against that point. Not at all.
@acrile @patote83 As someone with a mononym, I’m chuckling at that tale of Mr Null. Programmers should know how to handle this stuff.
@ICSF Thanks very much.
@swearyanthony Have you ever tried to type “Leni Riefenstahl” while walking?
Back at @ICSF for 2.5 hours of writing because the #vmworld media work room has no windows. I find I can’t write in places like that.
Directed by Fritz Lang #vmworld instagr.am/p/O4SIBoiFv5/
The special people’s corral #vmworld instagr.am/p/O4RqWTCFvf/
As it approaches 1000 PDT, I’ll soon start 3 hours of writing. Will there be electricity in the media work room today? #vmworld
The keynote is over and I have not slashed my wrists. #vmworld
thevmguy “Storage is like plumbing” - No, network is like plumbing, storage is like a septic tank. #vmworld
RT @typendlebury: @stilgherrian Neither is “oogh! oogh! oogh! oogh!” [Thank the gods, we haven’t heard that… yet.]
NetApp’s Dave Hitz gives a big shout-out to the command line. Sweet. I hope to be able to lick his neck later. #vmworld
If anyone else says “agility”, I’m catching the next flight to Vegas, buying a gun, and coming back to deal with you all. #vmworld
Innovation #vmworld instagr.am/p/O4PdsVCFuC/
So, here we are again… #vmworld instagr.am/p/O4PbXRCFuA/
ssharwood It’s mighty fine that @sakacc’s demo is directed right at IT pros. Dell’s was too. Cisco’s was directed at … mutants?
Dear America, “Whoo!” is not a word for adults. #vmworld
Why are we surprised that presenters can stick to their allotted 4 mins? It’s something every regional radio presenter does hourly. #vmworld
@ssharwood Touché.
@ssharwood You’re not helping.
I seem to be on a different planet now.
RT @ataraxite: Wouldn’t you take nembutal if you actually had “UK’s #3 libertarian blogger” in your Twitter profile? [More #suicidewatch.]
Now we have two Cisco employees on stage singing a song, “The Gist of LISP”. Not that LISP tho. Please place me on suicide watch. #vmworld
This whole thing VMware is currently pitching is the new Horizon Suite. I probably should’ve mentioned that. #vmworld
Actually, the way they can add a touch-oriented interface over the top of Windows desktops served out to tablets is rather clever. #vmworld
RT @ssharwood: new jargon - User Interface Virtualisation #vmworld means skinning windows for tablets, aka Operation AppShift
“Rather than fumbling with the start menu”? This is one of those Ponds Institute non-problems, right? #vmworld
@Beaker Sold, Sir! Looking forward to it.
I’m no fan of executives playing average comedians on stage, but I’ll pay BYOD being presented as SYOM. Spend your own money. #vmworld
@Beaker I’m around all week and through to Monday! I’m free 1400 on tomorrow, and all Friday, and elsewhen, so name your time. :)
This “delivering and consuming desktops”… why are we looking at users as “consumers”? To disempower them again? #vmworld
@standupkid The former, Sir. Truly. Atrocious. Coffee. And I’m not a coffee snob. Give me my alkaloid stimulants! But this… ermphh! :/
“Transform legacy into a service. Broker services from the middle. Deliver multi-device workspace.” And that’s The New Order. #vmworld
In the first 60 seconds, we have “embrace”, “dive”, “vision”, “delivering”. VMware is cashed up, but can’t afford a vocabulary. #vmworld
Sipping a cup of “Seattle’s Finest Coffee” as provided to the media. Oh Dear God how is this even legal? #vmworld
RT @jdub: MY WHAT A LARGE LAPTOP YOU’VE GOT THERE, LOOSE TIE MAN [My thoughts exactly.]
“English Muffin with Eggs, Sausage and Cheese. *Contains eggs, dairy and wheat” instagr.am/p/O4D_3sCFnE/
Hotel internet, young man, tie loosened, San Francisco… Yeah I’ve seen this video instagr.am/p/O4D277CFm9/
Right, off to the Moscone Centre for whatever scary breakfast the media is being given, then the 0830 keynote. #vmworld
@swearyanthony Now, you of all people should know what happens when you poke that particular wasp’s nest…
So I’ll be on ABC RN’s “Life Matters” Friday morning 0900 talking about names and pseudonyms. #nymwars abc.net.au/unleashed/2943…
Today’s keynote is “From Productivity to Empowerment: The Personal Cloud in Your Business” I don’t even. #vmworld
Tue plan: Day 2 VMware #VMworld, 0730 breakfast thru keynotes, interviews to 1800 AJP cocktail party; write ACCAN Conference presentation.