I’m starting Thursday now. It’s a bit like starting a chainsaw.
RT @richardtuffin: what’s the link for watching @9newsmelb live? [This http://t.co/p5tfoGwi more or less.]
RT @davidmanuca: I still don’t understand why the @ALeague has never released player wall posters. Kids would love them. [Carbon tax.]
BernardKeane Or I could trepan myself. RT @9NewsMelb: Don’t forget you can watch a livestream of @9NewsMelb at 6
RT: Friday morning’s “Life Matters” on ABC Radio National is about names, nicknames and pseudonyms. 0900 AEST. I’m on it live from SFO.
slim404 Hello Australia, did you know that we have a cyber bullying law in Tunisia? It is used only to jail cyber dissidents @Asher_Wolf
The Tesla Coil we made at school inly did about 250kV, from memory. And it wasn’t pulsed, that’s a new and special thing.
Look, why don’t you all look at this video of “Sweet Home Alabama” being played on pulsed Tesla Coils. http://t.co/zyvwM6XV
@ataraxite Is there any particular reason you’ve suddenly decided to join the illogical arsehat brigade today?
Note to the Universe. If someone says “A”, it does NOT mean they just said “not B”, “not C”, “not D” etc. Please try to be less stupid.
@terrordith Of course not. What sort of malformed mutant logic led you to believe I said that? Focus please.
FuckingMorgan Help prove the web can be a force for good. If you know anything about journalism, email: news@dailytelegraph.com.au.
Or, for that matter, this… http://t.co/mfJuN5Oz
So there’s this… http://t.co/mIgzFWvl
The level of ignorance, substandard intelligence and inability to do joined-up thinking amongst the “anti-war activists” is breathtaking.
People who can’t tell the difference between soldiers doing what they’re directed and politicians who issue those directions. #IceMoonPrison
Ah, that’s remarkably invigorating.
@ovadosepeace YES I KNOW SWEARING IS EVEN WORSE THAN KILLING AFGHANS WHAT WAS I THINKING OH FUCK OFF YOU TINFOIL NUTJOB.
@ovadosepeace Hint: Saying that concern for 5 dead is more important than concern for Twitter doesn’t mean I support the war. Arsehat.
@ovadosepeace You just parrot pathetic cliché propaganda without checking my views on Afghanistan first? You’re part of the fucking problem.
@ovadosepeace You need to wake up, you ignorant cunt, and fuck off with your ill-informed knee-jerk reaction to what I just said.
I stand corrected (HT @yeebok), it’s now 5 dead soldiers. I’m behind in reading my email from Defence. http://t.co/k2ZLvR3D
OI! AUSTRALIA! LISTEN UP! Three Australian soldiers just died in Afghanistan and you’re on about being rude on Twitter? Fuck. Right. Off.
You can tell when people are ignorant of internet culture. It’s when they use “troll” to mean “rude” or “threatening”. Clueless n00bz.
BernardKeane Let’s bombard news@dailytelegraph.com.au with the names of News Ltd journalists.
@Colvinius @ClaireRConnelly Oh, Mark, that’s so sweet. Who cares as long as there’s hits on the website? Hypocrisy is the new black.
I think it’s about time news.com.au called for everyone to dob in a secret pediatrician.
HEY WE’RE GONNA HAVE A LYNCHING! A LYNCHING! A LYNCHING! A LYNCHING! THAT’LL FIX THE INTERNET. FFS YOU IGNORANT HYPOCRITICAL CUNTS.
markwillacy Former head of IBM Japan admits filming up woman’s skirt at Tokyo train station. Assistant judge also arrested this week for same thing
RT @mikko: 95% of those claiming they never use the cloud, actually do: http://t.co/vbwWdfxf
And 51% believe storms can interfere with c …
“I mean, you are not even a national treasure.” http://t.co/PG741Mif
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “VMware uses Aussie experience to storm Asia” http://t.co/ZubSOdw4 #vmworld
I saw Greenpeace earlier refer not just to a “supertrawler” but a “monster supertrawler”. Grow the fuck up.
Thu plan, preview: Early writing; change hotels; plan rest of SFO visit; errands; 1600 PDT / 0900 Fri AEST ABC RN “Life Matters”; TGIT.
@electric589 @paulkidd @glengyron @SnarkyPlatypus Yes yes yes I typo’d the word “cork” let’s all grow up and move along.
I’m going to tweet this again because it’s my second-favourite B Kliban cartoon. http://t.co/9WNJa2GA
Oh. Oops. LOL.
Sorry, America, it was the need for the corkscrew that baffled me. The cock is obsolete you know.
WTF, America? A “corkscrew”?
RT @sunili: I’m really sorry Charlotte Dawson went through that but can someone please make an awareness campaign for celebrities? Incl. …
NickHodgeMSFT Meta SMEG RT @ozdj Brilliant! @NathanSmithAU has just sketched a #SMEG preso how-to. Feel free to share it around. twitpic.com/ap4m8s
planet_shane @ErrataRob I tell people their cloud data is up there with the angels and baby Jesus. That makes them feel much better.
@SnarkyPlatypus There is evidence in the Twitterverse that “Livin’ On A Prayer” was not performed at #VMWorld tonight.
RT @dobes: Awesome Baal comment MT @stilgherrian: LOL! “Oz Apple-Samsung judge threatens to hear case on Xmas day”. http://t.co/vU5800pY
LOL! “Oz Apple-Samsung judge threatens to hear case on Xmas day”. Go Justice Annabelle Bennett! http://t.co/vU5800pY
The risk of attending a Jon Bon Jovi concert seems to have passed. Whew.
@nigelwadsworth This may come as a shock, but IT isn’t the only field in the world.
Dear Brisbane, since I’m on the Gold Coast Tue 11 to Fri 14 Sep for Microsoft Tech.Ed, should I stay for the weekend to meet some of you?
“The Australian Govt’s rush to snoop” in @phildobbie’s “Twisted Wire” podcast. http://t.co/zcWnCXJI
Slightly bemused, however, that Palmer Coolum Resort had to send @Westpac something called a “fax” to make the procedure work.
Pleased with some excellent service just then by @Westpac and Palmer Collum Resort in resolving a little MasterCard glitch. Thank you.
@snurb_dot_info Sorry to fail you, but I must admit that the imagery on the #VMworld hashtag now is starting to look a bit like Nuremberg.
The sheer fuckwittedness of knee-jerk calls to break things that mostly work is driving me toward the free booze and Jon Bon Jovi option.
So, we’d solve street crime by making everyone wear a t-shirt with their name and address on it. We’re all cool with that, obviously, right?
QUICK! A BAD THING HAPPENED! LET’S DO THE THING THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN SHOWN SO MANY TIMES TO BE POINTLESS AND HARMFUL! DO IT NOW!
@oberonsghost I’ve had bottomless free booze every night for the last week. I think I can manage without tonight.
So, Friday morning’s “Life Matters” on ABC Radio National is about names, nicknames and pseudonyms. 0900 AEST. I’m on it live from SFO.
firstdogonmoon Today’s First Dog on the Moon cartoon is free and features @DanceBandicoot responding to Gina on behalf of Australia. arseh.at/1y3d
I rely upon the #VMworld hashtag to deliver me news of where all the cool kids reckon I should be going.
RT @steveathanas: Update on #VMworld Party insanity: Slight confusion over meaning of “bear hug” pic.twitter.com/YcVnkEbu [OH JESUS WEPT!]
RT @wolfcat: @stilgherrian is there enough booze in the world to make seeing Bon Jovi worth while. [No. No there is not.]
B Kliban explained the need for #anonymity years ago in one of his finest cartoons. http://t.co/fdJcSF5K
Can I be arsed going to see Jon Bon Jovi and drink free booze? I’d have to put my shoes back on, and it’s a block away. #vmworld
RT @firstdogonmoon: Today we are all possums RT @Pollytics I’m actually a possum #anonymity [That’s why I wear a possum suit today.]
The story is also more evidence supporting my feral goldfish theory of news. Must we repeat the anonymity points EVERY time someone tweets?
The sad thing about the whole story is that everyone only got outraged because someone on TV was picked on. Charity begins closer to home.
@garystark @Leighlo Oh I have the cable with me, it was just a PITA to dig it out from where it was stashed.
@joshgnosis I’d change “not sure… would stop” to “sure… would not stop”.
RT @LethalLeigh: Today’s Crikey’s out. bit.ly/NXSuTk [Despite his best efforts…]
@Leighlo @garystark Indeed, as @DeanBarnett pointed out for Canon, I think Nikon use that dual port ting for video as well.
The arsehats who call for an end to anonymity have never been insulted or threatened by someone whose name they knew, right? Fuckwits.
@garystark @Leighlo It’s a Nikon Coolpix S8100. It doesn’t look like a standard mini-USB. Or maybe I’m too tired. Or maybe I broke it.
Editors make things better.
@markatextor Is it wrong for me to have once referred to the Dalai Lama as “The Bono of Buddhism”?
RT @markatextor: Bono?! WTF!? [#tweetsthatarealwaystrue, right?]
Dear Nikon, you make nice cameras n’all, but why the fuck can’t you use standard USB connectors like normal people?
SnarkyPlatypus I think it would be appropriate if the blood of hipsters was used to retouch Banksy works.
Story filed for @zdnetaustralia, and my brain is fried. #vmworld
Trying to find the energy to finish this article. I am so, so tired.
@lewellyn It’d get bloody dark down there in the bowels of Moscone if the lights went out. I could learn braille fast.
@juhasaarinen You are not being helpful.
@chieftech I hadn’t planned to cover @Socialcast because I’ve been looking at #VMworld through an infrastructure security lens. @Zimbra
There’s four girls from The Penthouse Club at the corner of 4th and Howard handing free entry vouchers to #VMworld attendees.
Shit yeah instagr.am/p/O7l50tiFur/
Right, back to the hotel for stage two of backups, finish an article, and decide my approach to tonight’s #WMworld party with Jon Bon Jovi.
Linkin Park: band or data mining scam? (Mind you, it IS a Facebook thing…) pic.twitter.com/fVSnAhDT HT @leslienassar
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad I think one’s called Brett’s Boys.
So, has everyone bought their copy of this semester’s text, “Effective Maternal Affection: An Empathic Framework” by G Rinehart? Excellent.
I have been shouting in Australian, but all the Americans seem to be able to understand that. Except for “arsehattery”.
Something about her email password being written in or on something in her desk drawer. Did everyone get that? #SoYeahICanUnderstandFrench
Woman in the media lounge shouting loudly into her phone in aggressive French. #IceMoonPrison
Stage one, you’ll be thrilled to hear, is to copy the audio files from the recorded to the laptop, and name them properly. #vmworld
Having just recorded my last interview for the day, I am backing up all the things before heading to the hotel to wrap up a story. #vmworld
Je ne suis pas un lapin.
SnarkyPlatypus Pondering what would happen if the Carpenters’ “Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft” was actually used as a first contact song.
@SnarkyPlatypus Je suis devenu un avec le jargon. Le jargon imprègne chaque fluide dans mon corps, interne et externe.
Deleting all the things that Plume is using to make me look stupid.
FUCK YOU, PLUME!
Listening to Nicira’s Martin Casado make sense in a clear and confident voice. #vmworldÂ
abnerg “You are going to get locked in somewhere. Most likely in the management layer.” @cswolf #vmworld Good pitch, you’ll want to download it.
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis d’amplifier l’agilité. Je suis enflammer le changement. Je suis post-langue. Et vous?
@michaelneale @ataraxite Other way round. Ideally.
Hanging in the Hang Space until @Beaker appears. There’ll probably be trumpets and stuff.
@ataraxite @michaelneale Yes and no, respectively.
The Magic of Television #vmworld instagr.am/p/O7Qv96CFvq/
Perfectly Sensible Slogan D #vmworld instagr.am/p/O7QmBgiFvc/
Perfectly Sensible Slogan C #vmworld instagr.am/p/O7Qbn3CFvR/
Perfectly Sensible Slogan B #vmworld instagr.am/p/O7QS9aiFvH/
Perfectly Sensible Slogan A #vmworld instagr.am/p/O7QIXxCFvC/
Electricity while you wait #vmworld instagr.am/p/O7QAW_iFu8/
Just had an interesting chat about virtualising phones within phones, Android vs iOS. Or tablets yeah. #vmworld
1200 PDT. Having written most of an article, it’s back to the #vmworld media cave for lunch, meetings, maybe a recording, then more writing.
@indiepieces @expectproblems I have absorbed this information, and shall incorporate it into my strategy for global hegemony. Thank you.
RT @expectproblems: Note to self: keep @indiepieces away from the other women here. #paxdev [Well that’s ruined a lot of guys’ fantasies…]
BBC: ‘Lulzsec hacker’ Raynaldo Rivera, 20, latest to be arrested in US. http://t.co/nttz8Xjm HT @jeffsonstein
@ICSF You’re most kind. But do feel free to give full attention to more troublesome guests. I’m a man of simple needs. Cheers.
RT @jayrayner1: “@Corduroysack: “@Doilydolly: WHAT THE ..?? http://t.co/FkkeuS7L” Claire Rayner would not advertise these @Mr_Belter” Yo …
Second funniest thing I’ve received today: “This e-mail is best viewed in Citrix.”
@ICSF Thanks. Staring into space to let your thoughts gather is a core part of writing, and the view of SF provides endless variety. :)
Back at hotel (@ICSF) to continue writing ‘cos it has real light and a view there. My next meeting back at Moscone is at 1300 PDT. #vmworld
Note for future #VMworld events: Breakfast is a more important meal than lunch or dinner. A hearty, appetising start to the day, please.
Give in to the force.
Indian govt plans to give mobile phone, 200 mins talk, to everyone living below poverty line. http://t.co/AS4gS7P7 #vmworld Ping @mpesce
Claim there’s now 780 million Android devices in mainland China alone. In India, a simple Android phone is given away with soap. #vmworld
These VMware executives don’t see the growth in virtualisation in Asia slowing any time soon as they go low penetration to high. #vmware
Currently in APJ press conference with VMware inbound CEO Pat Gelsinger, CTO Steve Herrod, and regional VP Andrew Dutton. #vmworld
@StanCarey “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Artisanal gourmet cuisine, more or less #vmworld instagr.am/p/O6qtcRiFll/
San Francisco skyline instagr.am/p/O6qiF5CFld/
@ssharwood This was precisely my thought. Meanwhile, shall we go see what culinary delights await us for breakfast?
@ssharwood Yeah like that’ll work.
I AM PUTTING ON PANTS NOW.
@jdub @larksoft Yes, I can sell stories about interesting case studies to certain editors, and it helps me understand the technology better.
“Twitter’s Legal Battle: Who Owns Your Tweets?” is not the angle you might first think. cnbc.com/id/48817077 HT @peterjblack
Well that’s that then. I’ll have a shower now.
@jdub @NewtonMark Swearing is alluded to in my Twitter bio. But yes, the fucked-up cunts should be able to work that out as we go along.
I should warn new followers that my Twitter stream is high volume and encompasses many topics. Then again, they could just look. #vmworld
Why yes, stranger who just emailed me in Turkish, which I cannot read. I will open your PowerPoint presentation immediately.
@StanCarey Kill them. Kill them all.