@franksting @bigmac Don’t tell Bjørn.
@franksting @bigmac As I said, tho, I’m speaking English not Danish. How do we pronounce “Paris”? “Rome”? “Germany”? Danes are irrelevant.
RT @phbarratt: Lao honour guard awaiting official opening of Mekong Bridge, April 1994 flic.kr/p/d36NG9 [Great photo, Paul.]
@franksting @bigmac Note that I’m a linguistic descriptivist, not a prescriptivist. Dictionaries report, not direct
@franksting @bigmac København is pronounced kʰøbÌ¥m̩ˈhɒʊ̯ˀn, agreed. Copehhagen is pronounced /ˈkoÊŠpÉ™nheɪɡən/ or /ˈkoÊŠpÉ™nhÉ’Ëɡən/.
“For successful business dealing use powerful informational business portal com-bis equipped with all the necessary tools.” Seems legit.
I just got a spam email with the subject “all be ok”. I am reassured.
@bigmac This man is swaying backwards and forwards why what’s wrong with him is he drunk? http://t.co/VFXvhSsV
@bigmac Thank you. But while you may be confused, I’m certainly not. ;) #humptydumpty #alice #smartarse
@izevaka So far I’ve been exploring the ales and the Californian reds. The hotel rooms have pod-based coffee machines at least.
@PointZeroOne Yes. Unlike the endless tweets with daily plans, flight details, takeoffs and touchdowns… Do I need to slap you?
@Wolfie_Rankin @natashamitchell Thanks. Conversations about names nearly always elicit some great stories. Yesterday was no exception.
@RNLifeMatters Thanks for your kind words. It was a fun program. Tthe talkback kicked off as I knew it would. Any time. @natashamitchell
@bigmac Copenhagen is pronounced that way in Danish, agreed, but I’m speaking English. Apparently both pronunciations are in use.
@RealDavidHeath Certainly if VMware get it right with Horizon Suite then they’re onto a winner. Impressive demo. But it was just a demo.
@BeauGiles All sorts of people are doing or attempting virtualisation. Not sure if / how VMware’s approach differs architecturally.
@SnarkyPlatypus Je suis chaud et confortable, mais souffre d’un manque d’alcaloïdes.
Hello, Friday in America.
Dear Brain, I admire your unfailing ability to wake me well before the alarm, no matter how little sleep I’ve managed to get. Sigh.
@SnarkyPlatypus So do it and get caught.
@SnarkyPlatypus Pics pls.
@oscarsclaws Nah, just some all-caps message about pregnant women operating machinery because the Surgeon-General has a birth defect.
“Turn key and pull door”, says the minibar. HOW THE FUCK ELSE WOULD YOU IMAGINE PEOPLE WOULD DO THIS? Don’t answer that.
RT @feed_the_chooks: Twitter abhors a Phelps vacuum [Not if you use the wider nozzle.]
Me at @CSO_Australia: “How VMware hacked iOS security (allegedly)” (I was at #VMworld as VMware’s guest.) http://t.co/48ixUEnP
Things to love about San Francisco #3: Hotel internets that, you know, work.
@lizfoschia @feed_the_chooks Does “colourful Twitter character” mean the same as “colourful racing identity”?
@stevivor @aussexparty YES HEAVEN FORBID THAT POLITICIANS ACTUALLY SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE AS PROPER PEOPLE COWS WILL STOP EXPRESSING MILK.
Godwin Gretch is a DJ?
So @Myspace has a Twitter account. In further news… oh, I can’t be arsed writing ALL your jokes for you. Pay me, you bastards.
franksting Tempted to go all Silk Charm
RT @wolfcat: hello weekend. [FUCK OFF SOME OF US STILL HAVE ANOTHER ENTIRE DAY TO GO YOU ANTIPODEAN PRICK.]
QFT: @caseyjohnellis: @stilgherrian @march_tim there are no self righteous arsehats in infosec… you’re obviously mistaken.
Jesus Christ, PMO has turned into a spammer operation this afternoon.
@melanie_james Thanks very much. I haven’t listened back but it felt good as I was doing it. So to speak. @RNLifeMatters
@paulwallbank So maybe you haven’t heard, but slavery has been abolished.
RT @paulwallbank: Is the idea you can own a customer flawed? bit.ly/O0mdLk [#QTWTAIY]
I’m not, but I wanted to see the stats.
So @ABSStats linked to “fun dad stats” but it wasn’t what I was thinking. As you were.
@march_tim The fact that I’m a self-righteous arsehat should not influence your thinking. Or something.
@march_tim Part of me doesn’t want to support the full disclosure argument, because self-righteous arsehats shit me… but… sigh.
Things to love about San Francisco #2: City employees with whistles who point out and harangue pedestrians disobeying the lights.
Things to love about San Francisco #1: Cops on Segways. Human Robocops packing pistols FTW!
@march_tim Yeah, so you’d be one of those people who’s NOT HELPING. Also, well played. [smirks]
@riskybusiness I have not been drinking the Bouchaine Carneros Pinot Noir 2008 from Napa CA because the bottle has no wine in it at all.
Story filed for @CSO_Australia, finally. The one that’s not complete bullshit.
Changing all the subjects.
Security in Government Conference 2012, 3-5 Sept, Canberra. http://t.co/B6fBZrlY
@riskybusiness See, I knew you were useful for something. (This isn’t helping, is it.)
@riskybusiness Thank you. That was exactly the scary thought that is forcing me to return to my writing.
@riskybusiness Well no, obviously, but if Facebook is to be credible it needs to be fair and balanced. Like Fox. I have not been drinking.
@riskybusiness Facebook seriously needs a “Despise” button, right?
Actually not Soi Patpong, that one a couple of soi south. With the blond one. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Shut up.
SingSum still sounds like a rentboy place in Soi Patpong.
RT @firstdogonmoon: No, when i say it, it is satire because I am a professional. When you say it, it is vulgar so stop it.
@LethalLeigh @firstdogonmoon TOGTFO.
RT @ApostrophePong: Thsis cafe makes the worst massaman curry ever! [That’s a bold claim. Name and shame.]
Or speling.
@drunkenmadman *bows*
Your grammar is shit today. (Maybe she’ll feel better tomorrow.)
RT @drunkenmadman: I *may* have used the phrase “self-absorbed media fairy” [Excellent. That’s the best thing said about me today.]
@SnarkyPlatypus The best voicemails are those from withheld numbers that consist of nothing but four minutes of someone quietly sobbing.
joshgnosis I want to believe that Clint Eastwood has become Adam West’s character in Family Guy.
RT @Idealaw: Majority of Americans believe bad weather affects cloud computing bit.ly/ODMrBK [This is worth me relinking, trust me.]
Starting to write again, working under the assumption that my new premise is not actually complete bullshit.
Leaving a pointless rambling message on someone’s voicemail because failure is the theme for my evening.
Mark?
@Serrels Indeed. The time-waste hits your left brain, feeling like an idiot hits your right brain, and down the black hole you go. Sigh.
If only the developers had made better animations of exploding Yemeni villagers…
ProPublica One reason Apple rejected an app that tracks U.S. drone strikes: “not useful or entertaining enough.” propub.ca/RrsGKA
RT @lachlanhardy: OH: These aren’t water bottles, they’re _hydration vessels_. [Kill them, Lachlan. Kill them. Or let me do it for you.]
That feeling when you’re two-thirds of the way through writing an article and realise your entire premise is actually bullshit.
Oh well, I’m going to write this thing regardless of the lack of gruntle. Here we go.
Disgruntled.
@NewtonMark Will you tweet the link to Irene Graham’s piece on statistics laundering or shall I? ;) @tarmerding2
@NewtonMark @tarmerding2 Yes, well, this is all [cough] much as I said last year. http://t.co/VoSHGCGs Twice. http://t.co/8rbcadS1
Mark_Arbib Mark
“Oft-cited cybercrime cost estimates hosed down”, writes @tarmerding2, a familiar theme for me. http://t.co/O7rJfZlf
RT @tweeveetv: Brilliant press release from @ABCTV on the return of the the Chaser’s Hamster Wheelpic.twitter.com/ACVhMUbNbN [Almost agreed.]
A cork? Again? What the fuck is WRONG with this country?
@SnarkyPlatypus I would like to experience the show, but I have to write a thing before eastern Australia runs out of Friday.
Laughing.
Adding all the hashtags, again.
The podcast of ABC @RNLifeMatters on names, nicknames and pseudonyms is now online. Yeah I’m on it. http://t.co/IUcVcwy2
See, no, the thing about coffee is… um… there’s no point tying to explain, is there instagr.am/p/O-cNv1CFu6/
So was that whole scenario a flop?
@lexiphanic I tend to focus on particular threads too. No blame. :) I’m exhausted, was covering VMware’s VMworld, but it’s going OK. Food!
@christopherneal I don’t think I’ve read “The Second Self”. Hence citing “Life on the Screen” on the radio. Is it worth going back?
@marcfennell No, if people say “reach out to connect” then you should probably punch them.
@lexiphanic Hah! This shows how well Twitter works. I’m in San Francisco. Like it says in the location field and I’ve tweeted all week. ;)
Thu plan, additional: It’s 1810; grab food now; do the writing I didn’t do this afternoon; minor webby work for client; consider the wine.
@baralong Thank you very much. That @ABCthedrum piece was written after the thoughts had had a chance to settle. One of my favourites.
@ApostrophePong The Gov 2.0 hackfests that @piawaugh knows all about have helped get better visibility. Maybe your work needs to consider.
For those who thought my time here has just been endless eating, may I remind you… http://t.co/ES7B6wwM
RT @jeamland: OH: “Yes, Mountain Goats invented nu-metal.†[Also, ate all your clean underwear off the clothes line.]
@marcfennell So you let people on @DownloadABC use phrases like “engage with the brand” and you don’t bleep them? Very ecumenical.
@bastardsheep @Wyld @BarossaObserver @PointZeroOne “Cheese platter” doesn’t actually appear on the hotel menu so I assume aliens deliver it.
@juhasaarinen Cindy Sherman is on at the SFMOMA, so I might go there tomorrow. http://t.co/pSDnsEg8 Ping @ApostrophePong
There IS cheese in America, you know.
@chrisbrownie Oh yeah. Eating and drinking is the ONLY thing in my life. I AM EATING AND DRINKING ALL THE THINGS.
Oh, well OK then. If I must. #cheeseplatter
Dear San Francisco, I don’t have anything planned for this evening. So once I’ve wrapped work for the day, well, you know where to find me.
Yeah sorry about the jealously-making being-in-San-Francisco thing, @noplaceforsheep @helveticade @stokely. Actually no I’m not.
The sociologist of the internet I mentioned was Sherry Turkle, particularly her book “Life on the Screen” http://t.co/L9VBw4S2 #abcrn
If anyone wants more of my thoughts on names etc, this was written last year. http://t.co/QytTedQQ #abcrn
The delightful San Francisco afternoon continues instagr.am/p/O-Mb6xiFi6/
And the radio, it is done. That’ll appear as a podcast at some point.
@stokely @RNLifeMatters My next point exactly. The social slapdown has to be visible to everyone though. Social rules must be visible.
@stokely The radio voice is enhanced this week ‘cos endless free booze and very little sleep. ;)
@stokely This was scheduled a week ago, but my notes say we’re coming back to anonymity and bullying at the end, maybe.
@RNLifeMatters Gawd, San Francisco tourism people should be sending me wine after this! #abcrn
@RNLifeMatters Some research in US with names on resumes showed innate racism in how they were perceived by employers. Can explain. #abcrn
@mattcdef2000 I’m just using Skype, over hotel broadband, but with my Zoom H4n plugged in as a USB microphone.
@Idealaw @RNLifeMatters I know of a family where the boys are [something like] Bartholomew and Jeremiah. Pretentious? ;) #abcrn
After this news bulletin I’ll be live on ABC @RNLifeMatters http://t.co/IUcVcwy2 Live stream at http://t.co/uWvAEEiL #abcrn
@jplonie @NickHodgeMSFT I took the photo. 10-second self-timer FTW.
@glengyron It is not a merkin it is a dead kitten.
@NickHodgeMSFT I HAVE A DEAD KITTEN BECAUSE QUALITY PROFESSIONALISM.
@dannolan Hah! 10-second self-timer FTW.
New photo: “Live from San Francisco”, showing how I’ll be on the radio shortly. http://t.co/rViD6Cuw
Skype test to ABC Radio National studio 244 complete. All is good.
@jeamland Hah! We’re not recording. We’re live nationally for an hour of talkback. I am sober, pretty much.
Setting up my ersatz audio studio in San Francisco so I can go live into ABC Radio National in half an hour.
bigjsl We lost a 10Gb link between USA & London because someone _shot_ the cable in New Jersey. Intellectual giants. It was coming right at me!
It’s just over an hour until I join ABC Radio National’s “Life Matters” to talk names, nicknames and pseudonyms. http://t.co/IUcVcwy2
RT @john_m_green: Actually it was mothers who introduced decimal time. “If I count to ten…” they’d say, but they never needed to. [Heh!]
Don’t build a fast company, build a slow one, @37signals’ Jason Fried tells, erm, “Fast Company”. http://t.co/mTqUqpsq
World Bank visualisation of global money flows from migrants back to their home country. http://t.co/r6bI12fX HT @ApostrophePong
RT @pr1001: Actually, the French were the ones who tried to introduce decimal time! http://t.co/0HwwGeGX [And why do we not have it?]
Is that a statement of fact or an aspiration?
Fuck the ibis.
Downtown instagr.am/p/O94i88iFjI/
A personal greeting is a delightful touch instagr.am/p/O94KL6iFi5/
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour, tardivement. Je profite de la liberté d’être hors de la laisse. Je vais maintenant enterrer un os. Et vous?
Pigeon optional instagr.am/p/O93a85CFiQ/
Scraper instagr.am/p/O93QpYiFiK/
Breakfast at @ICSF, part thereof instagr.am/p/O93GLNiFiB/
@NewtonMark @darrenpauli This is true. I’ve been in the US since Sunday and have yet to encounter anything remotely resembling coffee.
Why 1400 isn’t 4pm is one of those great irritations with the world that I assume can be blamed upon the French.
RT: ABC RN’s “Life Matters” talkback on names, nicknames, pseudonyms 0900 AEST / 1600 PDT. I’m joining live from SFO. http://t.co/w3jXab2p
@SnarkyPlatypus Oh yeah thanks, let’s have another go at that tweet about radio…
@darrenpauli @NewtonMark What is “Java”? Some kind of exotic dance?
So, I’ve just checked in to the hotel and I’m sorting through email etc in the two hours before my ABC Radio spot.
Talking to the t-shirt seller on Market St about America and racism and the faked Moon landing. We’ve agreed to record tomorrow.
Tasty salted pig parts. Also, Canadian white ale brewed with coriander and orange peel. #brunch
Loose in San Francisco. Um, wait.
Both @twitter and @AppDotNet people replied with a “Thanks for reaching out.” I heard that phrase at #VMworld too. Reaching out is a thing?
My thanks to @ICSF for a lovely stay and VMware’s #VMworld for paying for it, but alas it’s time to check out. I’m booked elsewhere now.
@ICSF It’s more what I didn’t load up on. Scrambled eggs and tomato, then cured meats, smoked salmon, cheeses and melon. #buffetbuffethippo
RT @heardatnature: “What kind of evolutionary selection pressure makes you lose your anus?!”

death_stairs I ordered something online. It’s arrived but LOOK. Note: I am not a wizard, nor is my cock tiny. Disgruntled employee? pic.twitter.com/twzHdy9O
Actually, no bacon was involved. Because I’m responsible. Uhuh. But it’s definitely a case of #buffetbuffethippo at @ICSF.
So that’s an interview over at @AppDotNet organised for tomorrow at 1600 PDT. I think this calls for bacon.
Why PETA is a collection of arsehats, part 84493. Thank you, @johnemcintyre. http://t.co/BWBgDz5g
Catching up on the last two episodes of @marcfennell’s @DownloadABC while writing for all the things to back up.
Pro Tip: When running a backup to your 1TB USB hard drive, don’t unplug it. Rebuilding the thing takes a while.
RT @Tim_Coronel: @ssharwood @stilgherrian Simon has been post-human since at least 1985 [Hah! Clueless n00bz.]
@ssharwood So you’re a burrito pretending to be a human pretending to be a woman? This explains many things.
“Apple rejects app that tracks US drone strikes.” Because, you know, Freedom. http://t.co/Q16TlO3j
“Twitter mimics Facebook, kills own ecosystem”, being my “Patch Monday” podcast from 9 July. http://t.co/Yf7IDt3C
@ssharwood Are you eating in the #VMWorld media lounge? I honestly couldn’t face that today. Also [heresy alert!] burritos are bullshit.
So I’ve just emailed interview requests to both @twitter and @AppDotNet. Heck, since I’m here in SFO I might as well see how human they are.
@ataraxite Exactly. The “we’re a media company” forces at Twitter won, and I think that was their mistake.
indiaknight Best stamp ever. MT @royalmailnews: We’ve made a picture of a horse doing the Mobot pic.twitter.com/mUYqMzTj
@ataraxite I figured @AppDotNet was around the price of a night at a new restaurant and the risk was tolerable.
RT @ataraxite: “…Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals” [And God loves them for it.]
@AppDotNet Since I’m in SFO until Monday evening, do you have anyone who’d like to talk on-record about what you’re up to?
@ataraxite I gave @AppDotNet the $50 because it sends a market signal. I’m happy to pay for a service that serves me, not advertisers.
RT: Me at @zdnetaustralia: “VMware uses Aussie experience to storm Asia” http://t.co/ZubSOdw4
Thu plan: Clear head, desk and schedule; change hotels; writing (various, details TBA); 1600 PDT ABC Radio spot; evening TBA (any takers?).
RT @dannolan_ebooks: Boomer cunt in the troll trolls [Well, yes. Obviously.]
My previous thoughts on the topic at @abcthedrum with links to “that” expletive-filled blog post. http://t.co/QytTedQQ
ABC RN’s “Life Matters” talkback on names, nicknames, pseudonyms at 0900 AEST / 1400 PDT. I’m joining live from SFO. http://t.co/IUcVcwy2
@franksting I hope to find some time on the weekend to get going on @AppDotNet, perhaps initially piping my tweets through there.
@franksting By “properly” I mean that @AppDotNet isn’t part of my regular comms usage patterns yet. Well, “at all” would be closer to truth.
@Drag0nista @benrhughes I was just noting that using “troll” as “abuser” or “bully” is a sociolinguistic marker indicating n00bness.
@Drag0nista @benrhughes Oh I love watching language evolve. I’m a linguistic descriptivist. And I can accept that “troll” has evolved…
Oh, so somehow a whole bunch of tweets directed at me yesterday have decided to arrive now. Helpful. I’m not sure who to blame though.
So yeah I can be found on @AppDotNet under my name too, just like here, though I haven’t started posting properly yet.