Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

January 2nd, 2013

Even better, you could spend 2013 in a brick-filled sack hurled into the Thames estuary.

via Janetter for Mac

Ah yes. The Influential Tweetist. (Sorry, I have to keep stopping the playback and cry at the continual reminders of my own inadequacy.)

via Janetter for Mac

Whoever decided that “curator” is about collecting random shit off the internet should be kicked to death in front of their entire family.

via Janetter for Mac

“By the end of [2012] we all looked and felt like we’d been repeatedly kicked in the timetits by a giant dogshit clock.” Oh I am not worthy!

via Janetter for Mac

And 40 seconds in, “Stunning TV footage proved dogs have evolved the ability to do Jeremy Clarkson’s job with less casual racism.”

via Janetter for Mac

Settling down to watch @charltonbrooker’s doubtlessly-calming “2012 Wipe”. youtube.com/watch?v=DGKStg…

via Janetter for Mac

@chrisbrownie Oh for God’s sake you’re paying these people! Ask for your goddam glass of water. @PointZeroOne

via Plume for Android in reply to chrisbrownie

@ddowza So I just got a mental image of something entitled “Macklin and the Methed-Up Tradies” and it was a bit wrong.

via Plume for Android in reply to ddowza

Plus that’ll sort out any reluctance she might have to turning tricks to pay the rent. It’s basic family economics, Jenny!

via Plume for Android

This whole Macklin thing hasn’t been thought through. Spend the $200 a week on meth and she won’t want to eat. Der.

via Plume for Android

RT @grum “Weak Password” How exactly is v9jdL93Np1DS1 weak? [Dictionary word.]

via Plume for Android

Masturbating in public is an honour and a privilege, @swearyanthony, and I’ll not suffer anyone to speak against it.

via Plume for Android in reply to swearyanthony

“My God, it’s full of arsehats!”

via Plume for Android

RT @swearyanthony Also where’s the twibbon for Macklin derp? Worst online campaign ever.

via Plume for Android

RT @en_gy Ah yes. Mary Jo Fisher was the one with the good drugs.

via Plume for Android

@kopegi1 Exactly. So what do you imagine spamming them with a hashtag containing a tweet will achieve, apart from making you look daft?

via Plume for Android in reply to kopegi1

It really does seem I picked the wrong week to cut down on my drinking.

via Plume for Android

Have Communist agents put something in our drinking water over the holidays?

via Plume for Android

And their attention will successfully be so drawn if a stranger sends them a tweet containing nothing but a single hashtag.

via Plume for Android

Apparently @latingle @amworldtodaypm etc need their attention drawn to a story they might have missed ‘cos it’s only headlined for 24 hours.

via Plume for Android

Deep breath. Calm blue ocean. Deep breath. Calm blue ocean.

via Plume for Android

@kopegi1 I see you’re also spamming political journos and pollies. Hasn’t occurred to you they’d already know this story from yesterday?

via Plume for Android in reply to kopegi1

@kopegi1 Um, so have you read what I’ve already said about this today? What does my attention need drawing to, exactly?

via Plume for Android in reply to kopegi1

Smartphone vendors and telcos adding their plug to emails without asking first? Just what sort of family upbringing did these pigs have?

via Plume for Android

@kopegi1 I do not understand this tweet. What are you trying to say to me? (This had better be good.)

via Plume for Android in reply to kopegi1

@PointZeroOne Indeed. I was about to suggest he go watch a few episodes of “The Thick of It” and come back when he had half a clue.

via Plume for Android in reply to PointZeroOne

Also, I think I just thoroughly confirmed my long-held belief that these days I’m pretty much unemployable.

via Plume for Android

I wonder who he is, now, and what fills his life when he’s not launching ill-informed and ill-advised attacks on Twitter.

via Plume for Android

HAHAHAHA! Big brave political warrior @cruicerod seems to have just blocked me. Fuckin’ hilarious. What a lame little turd.

via Plume for Android

@cruicerod So this is it for you, is it? This is your best material? What a pathetic cunt.

via Plume for Android in reply to cruicerod

@RojMugwump Yeah but “South Park” still makes jokes about God and Hitler, so who can tell?

via Plume for Android in reply to RojMugwump

Michael Moore is still a thing?

via Plume for Android

Living the dream of l’esprit d’escalier.

via Plume for Android

Just got an email with the subject starting “Roxon and Buswell…” and I’m now recovering from the mental image it triggered. Deep breath.

via Plume for Android

@johnthelutheran OK, can’t argue with that. It’s a timeless classic.”

via Plume for Android in reply to johnthelutheran

@LilyMaeMartin @expectproblems Even cuter is “responsibility” defined as becoming indebted to a bank for ten times your annual income.

via Plume for Android in reply to LilyMaeMartin

@johnthelutheran Shouldn’t that tweet begin “High-profile austerity practitioner…”?

via Plume for Android in reply to johnthelutheran

Meanwhile, life outside becomes a series of “Hogan’s Heroes” out takes.

via Plume for Android

That deserves another Coopers. [Not a paid tweet, but I’m open to offers.]

via Plume for Android

Oh. Some half-arsed drive-by tribal zealot who thinks my comments are party political. What a stupid cunt.

via Plume for Android

@cruicerod And for the record, it is and continues to be my sincere opinion that anyone who falsely edits documents for gain is filth.

via Plume for Android in reply to cruicerod

@cruicerod And yes, I did enjoy it. I’m chuckling quite a bit right now.

via Plume for Android in reply to cruicerod

@cruicerod Really? Who are you, then, and what lie are you referring to? Or do you approve of politicians editing out inconveniences?

via Plume for Android in reply to cruicerod

“Hey look! I’m smart! I broke this thing you never heard of!” Yeah ta, mate.

via Plume for Android

Mind you, being an obnoxious sexist arsehole and calling yourself a hacker isn’t a proper lifestyle either. I’d pick the krill every time.

via Plume for Android

I don’t understand. Have they stopped teaching everyone Latin?

via Plume for Android

Krill and cheap pinot noir is not a proper lifestyle.

via Plume for Android

“Escape from Westfield” starring Kurt Russell and Billie Piper. In 3D.

via Plume for Android

Yeah I was just thinking that. More or less.

via Plume for Android

Yeah I’m going to get complaints about that one…

via Plume for Android

Well hasn’t Frank Lowy created a wonderful world for us! The camps weren’t meant to be an inspiration, mate!

via Plume for Android

Look out! Commie super krill ! instagr.am/p/T-LhI5iFtE/

via Instagram

@nanopunk Yeah well my ring isn’t going to come out of this one intact.

via Plume for Android in reply to PitcherJenna

Hey didn’t department stores used to have staff?

via Plume for Android

So the lift near Dan Murphy’s takes you directly to Myer’s women’s underwear department. That’s a bonus I suppose.

via Plume for Android

Never ever drink this, no matter how much they offer to pay you instagr.am/p/T-J4kLiFr2/

via Instagram

Oh for God’s sake grow up.

via Plume for Android

I’m pretty sure the Germans used to make V-2s down here.

via Plume for Android

The Dan Murphy’s cum fallout shelter is eleventy levels down into the car park instagr.am/p/T-H007iFqe/

via Instagram

Take your fucking Christmas tree down, Westfield. It’s Easter!

via Plume for Android

Besides, isn’t a Westfield mall the pinnacle achievement of western culture? FFS, this is why we fought and won in Vietnam!

via Plume for Android

I don’t know why they’re so happy. They’re playing them Chris de Burgh and everything!

via Plume for Android

Wow, the staff of the newsagent in Westfield Hurstville all copped a double tap from the Miserable Stick today,

via Plume for Android

To ensure the woman is properly drowned, hold her head under water for six minutes instagr.am/p/T-FNMYCFoR/

via Instagram

The newts have colonised the moon!

via Janetter for Mac

Self-control is overrated, pod people.

via Janetter for Mac

@michaelneale Yeah well I don’t seem to recall you being invited to work here.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to michaelneale

Oh great, @ApostrophePong, now I’ve got that damn T-Pop earworm too.

via Plume for Android

OK, this still isn’t making any beer appear, but I’m about to go mobile and sort that.

via Janetter for Mac

Not if you’re holding a knife, no.

via Janetter for Mac

sarah2he It’s about time for a counter yarn-bombing movement, where you cut off the crap & leave a little sticker saying “I liberated this bike rack’

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:59 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Ah. We have one of those here too.

via Janetter for Mac

@R_Chirgwin You can’t find ANYTHING fun in the ‘burbs.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

My hopes and plans for this evening have just been cruelly shattered.

via Janetter for Mac

It’s true, @SnarkyPlatypus, because we were trying to understand the issue without all of the press gallery journalists to guide us.

via Janetter for Mac

SnarkyPlatypus After briefly perusing this Macklin dole thing, I can safely conclude that a worthy issue has been derailed by ppl’s bullshit as per usual.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 2:43 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

One cask of fruity lexia, two grams of ketamine, 10 CDs of 90s K-Pop and a blow-up Jenny Maklin doll (all-natural edition): evening sorted!

via Janetter for Mac

Final RT: Blog post: “On Twitter, the Silly Season, and a certain list” stilgherrian.com/personal/on-tw…

via Janetter for Mac

“Caviar Barbie”? Just how many eggs do you imagine she produces?

via Janetter for Mac

“Guest Editor”. Uhuh. I should try that lark the next time I want someone to do my job for free.

via Janetter for Mac

@SnarkyPlatypus J’ai toujours été instauration de la paix et de bonne volonté dans le monde. Je suis un ange de l’harmonie.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@cheshireb Never argue with middle-aged men. They’re all arseholes.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to cheshireb

RT @ApostrophePong: This 80’s T-pop is stuck in my head. I need to share the pain to you. youtu.be/9Cv5V6Wxg1M [I help share your pain.]

via Janetter for Mac

@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis très heureux de participer à la joie et au bonheur de la société moderne. Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@lukebunyip That’s interesting. I haven’t (yet) read how the Melbourne Institute does the calculation. I may do so this afternoon.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to lukebunyip

None of this is generating any more beer, is it.

via Janetter for Mac

BOB BROWN HAS JOINED SEA SHEPHERD HAHAHAHAHA OH THE SUCKER. smh.com.au/environment/wh…

via Janetter for Mac

Good. Maybe the calming tones of @charltonbrooker will help calm my distress at the world. Oh.

via Janetter for Mac

danilic Australian Media Nerds: Here is @charltonbrooker’s 2012 Wipe: youtube.com/watch?v=DGKStg…

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 1:40 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

It pleases me to know that the major parties go for the votes of, and therefore represent, ignorant selfish arseholes. A better world FTW!

via Janetter for Mac

Though how anyone could be jealous of those living on under half the poverty line really says more about what a selfish arsehole they are.

via Janetter for Mac

So skipping ahead, our policy is that we know the benefits aren’t enough but, you know, fuck ‘em. Three-car-family voters might get jealous.

via Janetter for Mac

Government benefits are argued to be lower than that because they’re supposedly a short-term measure. But some need them long term.

via Janetter for Mac

The Poverty Line is the amount below which you do not have enough income to be able to participate in society, not merely exist, long term.

via Janetter for Mac

Latest Poverty Lines from Melbourne Institute for single parent not in workforce plus one inc housing: $519.01 a week. melbourneinstitute.com/downloads/publ…

via Janetter for Mac

So, given those two tweets by @monkeytypist and @Jeff_Sparrow, consider the following…

via Janetter for Mac

Jeff_Sparrow Macklin saying she couldn’t live on the dole would have been just as appalling as her saying she could. That’s the problem.

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 1:27 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Twitter Web Client)

monkeytypist It *is* scandalous that people can’t live on the dole. But press have to wait for a politician to say something before it becomes a scandal.

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 1:26 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Twitter Web Client)

@JackLScanlan Yes. Also, you probably need to get out more.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to JackLScanlan

RT @Drag0nista: Twitter is the paragon of journalistic virtue, something something. [Which is why citizen journalism will solve everything.]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @jeamland: Is it Schrödinger’s Fridge? angryflower.com/schrod.gif [Of course. All fridges are Schrödinger’s Fridge. Even the ones with cats.]

via Janetter for Mac

I go to the fridge again and again and keep starting and staring and staring but every single time there is no more beer in it.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @puggle01: I’d suggest the piece of filth was ordered to say it was inaudible by a more powerful piece of filth :) [True enough.]

via Janetter for Mac

Just finished my bookkeeping for December. It was so much better entering all that tax-inconvenient income as “inaudible”.

via Janetter for Mac

@Drag0nista Hey, if actual well-paid press gallery journos can’t be bothered with anything better, why should we in our own time?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Drag0nista

Q: “Could you live on the dole?” Macklin: “I could.” So which lying piece of filth says it’s inaudible? Sacked yet? youtube.com/watch?v=Rp9Smm…

via Janetter for Mac

mattmoran10news Here’s Jenny Macklin saying she could live on the dole which featured on @channeltennews yesterday. It’s not inaudible. youtu.be/Rp9SmmoHwbQ

via Twitter for Websites (retweeted on 12:58 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@Drag0nista If you don’t wake the dragon you end up chasing it. Or something. Yeah, needs work. Come back to me on that one.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Drag0nista

@BradBeauRalphy Actually, I was too polite just then. I call bullshit on that obnoxious slur until you back it up with legitimate research.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to BradBeauJordyn

@BradBeauRalphy Do you have a link to that piece of evidence? It’s an ancient propaganda slur, and a boring one, but what are the facts?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to BradBeauJordyn

@KJBar Yes, that would certainly be in keeping with an atmosphere of being up to date and in touch with reality.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to KJBar

wheelingprobs I’m gonna open a gym called Resolutions.

It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of the yr, then it’s a bar for the remaining 50.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:29 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@Drag0nista So why resist? The more mockery of that bullshit the better.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Drag0nista

@timhollo I’ve only done a quick skim, but already there are some powerful stories there.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to timhollo

TumblrTXT Ok, I’m sorry, no. Narcissism is being attracted to oneself. Autosexuality means that you can ONLY feel physical attraction to yourself.

via Buffer (retweeted on 12:21 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@jeamland @timhollo Yeah I’m saving some of these ideas for my senate run.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jeamland

RT @timhollo: Here are collected stories. We are hoping to do videos as you mention. greensmps.org.au/newstartstories [Ah good.]

via Janetter for Mac

@GreensMPs Or the director’s cut version, which is intercut with footage of seals balancing beach balls and dogs humping in a park.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to GreensMPs

@GreensMPs If you want to make it personal, intercut them with news footage of Macklin drinking champagne at government events.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to GreensMPs

@CameronWatt @GreensMPs Yes of course they are. That’s the point. Do try to keep up.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to CameronWatt

@GreensMPs Try this. Get 10 affected people. 2s establishing shot in their home, 8s to-camera CU with one hard truth about their life.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to GreensMPs

@abc7newsBayArea @standupkid HURRAH! The species is saved! Poverty ended! World peace achieved! I’m so happy they’re doing this! So helpful!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to abc7newsBayArea

abc7newsBayArea A pair of Australian grandparents has made an extreme New Year’s resolution — to run a marathon each day this year: bit.ly/WZbjFL

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:06 PM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@juhasaarinen There really is something wrong with you.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to juhasaarinen

Wed plan, belated tweet: Continue pottering thru thoughts about my future work, writing some of it down, potentially in interesting spots.

via Janetter for Mac

@purserj @kcarruthers @gilfer No-one is anxious in Arncliff. They’re all on drugs. Have you even been there?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to purserj

@purserj @kcarruthers @gilfer Well, I am thinking about the future of my work this week… “Could be the next Bettina Arndt — Twitter”.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to purserj

@BeauGiles @gilfer @kcarruthers Ah, I should also mention that Janetter is for OS X but not iOS.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to BeauGiles

@gilfer Ah. No. You don’t follow me. That’s probably for the best

via Janetter for Mac in reply to gilfer

@BeauGiles @gilfer @kcarruthers Yes, Tweetbot has a good reputation. I tend to stay with my toolset unless it breaks or my needs evolve.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to BeauGiles

@gilfer @kcarruthers Oh. Right. In that case you should probably mute me.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to gilfer

@gilfer @kcarruthers I use Janetter, which is comprehensive with muting, but some who’ve tried it don’t like its appearance.

via Janetter for Mac

jayrosen_nyu Repeat from early this morning. Irish newspapers think you should pay to link to them. Yes. And they have a price list. mcgarrsolicitors.ie/2012/12/30/201…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:45 AM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@gilfer @kcarruthers Why? Do you use some shit Twitter client that can only filter on haqshtags and not words? Awww… poor baby.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to gilfer

Eating is straight from the can. Because I’m a man.

via Janetter for Mac

mikeyface Shut it down. Our schools have failed. It’s over, guys. i.imgur.com/6bjq7.jpg

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:30 AM, Jan 2nd, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Right, where are my pants?

via Plume for Android

Apparently the Tasmanian Times is reporting the remarkable EXCLUSIVE that the US NSA is, erm, doing it’s job. Well bugger me.

via Plume for Android

@mgherman Dunno. It’s always seemed tasteless to me to quibble about the details of how we plan to fuck over the lives of the unfortunate.

via Plume for Android in reply to mgherman

It all joins up, people! The connections are there, you just need to choose to see them.

via Plume for Android

BREAKING: Minister Macklin challenges unemployed single mother to derail an Iranian tram using Stuxnet.

via Plume for Android

I’ll have you know I construct my entire reality from your tweets, so how can there possibly be a problem with it?

via Plume for Android

Derailing a tram is “taking down infrastructure”? Jesus Christ! Why did we get rid of the F-111s? Can we invoke ANZUS?

via Plume for Android

BREAKING: Minister Macklin explodes into a cloud of bullshit and hypocrisy. Meanwhile, a billion rose petals descend over the outer suburbs.

via Plume for Android

BREAKING: Minister Macklin challenges unemployed single mother to have a refreshing coffee and snack by asking her receptionist to order it.

via Plume for Android

BREAKING: Minister Macklin challenges unemployed single mother to write a job application using only her chief of staff and media advisor.

via Plume for Android

BREAKING: Minister Macklin challenges unemployed single mother to buy her child new school shoes using a David Jones credit card.

via Plume for Android

BREAKING: Minister Macklin challenges unemployed single mother to prepare a meal for three using artisanal products for less than $350.

via Plume for Android

BREAKING: Minister Macklin challenges unemployed single mother to survive on $1200 a day, or get her sick child to the doctor in a CommCar.

via Plume for Android

Those wondering whether I’ve taken my meds should just read my most recent blog post.

via Plume for Android

Fuck. Last letter is meant to be an E.

via Plume for Android

Except you call them “fonts” because you didn’t know the computer industry got it wrong when they started their half-baked WYSINQTSAWYGBCU.

via Plume for Android

The reduction of our rich typographic history, including novelty faces, to slogans. This face good, that face bad.

via Plume for Android

Oh look! Complaining about Comic Sans. Showing you think you’re not just as ignorant of typography by joining a simplistic bandwagon.

via Plume for Android

Which is a shame, because it’s much easier to just tweet whinges from bed based only on the headlines. Not that I’m doing that, obviously.

via Plume for Android

I suppose I’ll have to read the damn thing to see if there’s anything new, other than a collection of factoids as pro-spook propaganda.

via Plume for Android

So ASIO is just talking espionage and surveillance? Ah, and that started happening electronically when? Sorry? Marconi who? I’m confused.

via Plume for Android

If DG ASIO reckons it’s global cyber war, we’d better ask if the fallen’s next of kin have been notified yet. Oh? No dead? Nor injured?

via Plume for Android

Oh, so I wasn’t hallucinating? Jenny Macklin really is going to show complete disrespect with that fuckwitted dole stunt? How tasteless.

via Plume for Android

So, we begin the working week on a Wednesday. What glory are you bringing us today?

via Plume for Android