tomrobbin92 Tom Waterhouse is the most Young Liberal looking motherfucker I have ever seen.
RT @juhasaarinen: A good graph statschat.org.nz/2013/05/06/a-g… [Agreed. Look at it, will you.]
“THIS BULLSHIT RUINED MY HOLIDAY AND MY LIFE.”
CollinVanUden I love TripAdvisor. “Dear Internet I stayed in a jungle and there were bugs. *Actual BUGS*. THIS BULLSHIT RUINED MY HOLIDAY AND MY LIFE”
More self-entitled whining, people, that’s what we need! Bring me more whining!
Ah, all the griping about Sydney’s CityRail tonight! It’s just that selfless stoicism that helped us win the war!
RT @bajopants: Already have 24 cat videos! this is awesome, ty guys [“Internet records smashed!” reports Guinness editor.]
The fantastic thing about Twitter is that you get to despise so many different people from the comfort of your own home. Or basement.
RT @mpesce: Distinction as a Service [Isn’t that the new escort agency?]
It’s not a bad gig she’s got, that Dame Helen Mirren. Just swanning around like an old queen, and she gets awards for it.
Stop your parade.
“Not much shocks you on the gay scene. But seeing Helen Mirren dressed as the Queen cussing and swearing and making you stop your parade.”
‘She says she used “‘thespian’ words” to tell them to be quiet.’ Uhuh. bbc.co.uk/news/uk-224235…
“‘Queen’ Helen Mirren scolds drummers”, eh? You don’t see a good scolding that often these days. bbc.co.uk/news/uk-224235…
So Australians invented a way to use 3D printers to grow human body parts… abc.net.au/news/2013-05-0…
RT @christopherneal: Anyone can declare whatever they like as “best practice”, that the beauty of it [True. I might have a go then.]
I agree with @SnarkyPlatypus, this is professional-grade trolling. dailymail.co.uk/femail/article…
Yeah I don’t recall Facebook ever being granted any statutory authority to declare what constitutes “best practice” in anything.
jplonie What I need is a gen y intern with 17 years industry knowledge yet isn’t jaded by the experience.
“Vic Police documents leaked to Melbourne bikies”, so everything’s OK there. scmagazine.com.au/News/342193,vi…
So hang on that, that’s TWO policies the Coalition has now? FFS slow down, I don’t think I can handle the pace! TWO??!!?
You won’t be able to convince me that carbon has seven protons, no matter how many textbooks you cite.
PitcherJenna “The large griffin sheep library database in the jungle between the leisurely paced” Oh, Google Translate.
9NewsSyd RT @news_camo: $1,000,000 worth of cameras at the racing inquiry into Waterhouse vs singo. #9NEWSat6 pic.twitter.com/OSQHmEI7Kw
@mpesce @scott_thewspot Well we’re all allowed some time off.
ikostar But I do deny them my essence.
ikostar Pissing down with rain, so the frogs in the garden are going off. Frogs love rain. Frogs are great. I like frogs.
RT @smartbrain: ICT minister warns of one year jail term for anyone calling the pm a whore :-) [So that’s one point on the scale…]
niltiac I’ve crafted the perfect @BRW headline based on site analytics: How to make $30,000 in 30 minutes by using social media at Pottery Barn.
@scott_thewspot That’s OK, I think most days my very existence upsets @mpesce. And he’s not alone.
ikostar John key is lying on TV again. He does that a lot. In fact I don’t think he goes on TV unless he feels he needs to mislead us in some way
Well I think that worked.
Yeah OK, @juhasaarinen @dwyer_jason, you win. For now.
“Delete 6 2 a startled deer”, apparently.
RT @ThomBus: That’s why I use self-documenting field names like param1, param2, param3, param2_is_valid, param3_uppercase [Good idea.]
The frustration of tying to understand someone else’s database when there’s no documentation.
mikko My phone carries a root certificate for a military.
From one country.
And it’s not my country.
And I can’t remove it. pic.twitter.com/gqyMaO8WPf
markmackinnon And then your boss makes you crawl on your hands and knees in a public square “as part of a stress test”: twitpic.com/col89d
@Colvinius Well, humble fie now, obviously.
How do you even make a typo like that?
Yes, of course it’s an emergency. I WANT A FUCKING FIE.
The coining of the phrase “The Internet of Everything” marks the precise moment the digitally connected revolution jumped the shark.
@swearyanthony Well, the data should be able to help us solve that.
Does the NSW State Emergency Service deliver pies?
s_bridges RT if you want @firstdogonmoon to start a regular podcast where he reads out that day’s Twitter
RT @ssharwood: “survey reveals data massaged to support issuer’s point of view” is how most of them go, IIRC [Ah, so you got it too? ;)]
Transformational.
“Survey reveals” is also how all the best PR emails start. Combine this with what I said in the previous tweet for added effect.
Executives whose PR droids issue a press release with their guy’s “insights” on some tangential news item EVERY FUCKING DAY. #icemoonprison
I think I’m gonna have me a Big Data Revolution.
davecallantwit Eliminate belly fat with this one simple tip: DON’T EAT ANYTHING IN AMERICA
@0x1C Ah yeah, happy days! You’ve also just given me an idea for the novel.
Mon plan: Sort out the mess that is allegedly my plan for May, starting at one end and working steadily until all the bodies are buried.
And remember, @RealNickHodge, he had more and better guns. shebeen.com.au/images/site/pi…
Hunter S Thompson never had this problem.
@NicolaCastleman That’s not important right now.
Covered in seeded mustard.
Oh. I just noticed I had a “Min plan, draft” earlier and not a “Mon plan”. No wonder everything is confusing.
@johncarneyau I quite like Adam Curtis’ style, the narrative illustrated with archival footage. That series is his most recent.
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: The spiritual mother of Silicon Valley is a Soviet trollbot? Makes sense. [Yep. Those movie rights are MINE, I say!]
expectproblems images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/1… RT @dannolan: arm the atheists
RT @johncarneyau: Failed? Half the GOP cite her as inspiration. [And Silicon Valley, see thoughtmaybe.com/all-watched-ov… episode 1.]
RT @expectproblems: You really think she failed? The trolling continues long after her death. [So Any Rand is the USSR’s L Ron Hubbard?]
Soviet trollbotics.
Theory: Any Rand was an early, failed Soviet experiment in robotics.
From the thing I just RTd, Ayn Rand to Yoko Ono: “The empathy you point to obviously serves you well. I am happy for your achievement.”
kcimc ARPANET 1976 chat in which jim henson compares ayn rand to oscar the grouch arpanetdialogues.net/vol-iv/ via @allisonburtch
I want to say “disintermediation” but I think one of those guys will punch me.
@iain_chalmers Oh yes, IP addresses are logged in the poll, and this one is somewhere in the Ukraine. Of course. Nice troll.
RT @newscomauHQ: Welcome to Twitter, @aboltheraldsun [Oh this’ll help, n’all… #moreshoutingontheinternetplease]
alliecoyne Take a break from the NBN and blogue anger with a look at this season’s fashion trend, courtesy of Menswear Dog mensweardog.tumblr.com/post/497317488…
@lukehopewell Oh, also good morning.
Is @lukehopewell being a cunt again?
rycrozier Telecoms networks aren’t like bridges and tunnels. They’re organic. Like trees. Or compost.
RT @marshontap: Organic Networks. [Well they’d be fibre all the way, right? Fibre to the Bran!]
So this Conroy/Turnbull Hangout is two blokes shouting at each other on the internet? Yeah, the internet needs more of that.
RT @dobes: I think @joshgnosis should pull out a kitten and a pistol to shut both of them up. [HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY NEW WEEKLY PODCAST!]
RT @dobes: @dannolan @wordsonaplatfrm what is an “actual linux desktop” person? [I think it’s a synonym for “asexual”.]
I might just have a bit of a cry now and be done with it. it’ll save time later.
RT @jonoabroad: still no larger mobile plans? [Not with Telstra, no. Christ, you don’t want people USING all that bandwidth, it’d collapse!]
RT @SnarkyPlatypus: The freedom to be shaped or pay excess charges halfway through the month. [Yes, it’s about choice. That’s a choice.]
@dobes Yeah look when I phone Google they go all scared and hide behind their bean bags and demand free sushi or they won’t come out.
@dobes A suggestion for future Hangouts might be for an audio-only stream as well. But them I’m probably the only one who needs it.
I love how Telstra’s idea of “Super G Liberty”, the name of the top plan, is a chokingly huge 15GB a month. That’s top Freedom right there!
I can’t watch “Hangout with Turnbull and Conroy on ZDNet” right now zdnet.com/au/hangout-wit… ‘cos it’d max out my mobile data quota. Bonus!
Still, if you’d like to suggest which of several media-making ideas for me to pursue, do feel free to vote. stilgherrian.com/personal/choos…
@dobes The internet has been such a mistake. Is there any way we can shut it down?
And only last night @0x1C predicted that exact thing happen. Gosh, he can foretell the future!
Ah, so the poll in my post “Choosing my next media directions: you’re doing it, OK?” has been gamed by someone. stilgherrian.com/personal/choos…
dr_nic Shortly after this photo was taken, someone screamed at him to “speak English” and “f*%k off back to Lego Town.” pic.twitter.com/R13YKsgw9v
I don’t think I’ll compliment anyone ever again, it turns out to be a lot of work.
@Pozible No, that was just a straightforward compliment for being one of the rare organisations to do it right.
jdub I don’t think you people understand just how challenging it is to be a large-nosed person in a small-nosed person’s world.
@SnarkyPlatypus Gin serait un excellent début, mais à long terme serait plus nécessaire.
msnaughty China tries to forbid everyone from giggling at penis-shaped building m.now.msn.com/penis-shaped-b…
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis pleine de gêne, mais je veux être plein d’autres choses. Et vous?
Min plan, draft: a morning of dealing with bureaucracies, and an afternoon of writing, interspersed with strangling non-paying clients.
@Pozible Why? That’s precisely what a name field should do, rather than impose arbitrary and not legally-supportable restrictions.
Poo. And poo.