To say that I hate everyone on this tram would not be entirely accurate.
Entrammed.
One day, or rather night, I would like to sleep for more than four hours. One day.
@franksting It’s OK, after a week I start hating how it feels, hating how I look, and hating everything in the universe.
Tub waan ped ped maak aroi maak krub.
Why has a person from Hong Kong been allowed in here?
@RealNickHodge Any reference to whale sashimi is a win.
I have tub waan.
@jonoabroad @Pozible The more money, the more naked photos. That’s how it works on the sites I go to.
@jeamland I believe what you’re after is a single .45 round into the CPU.
helenperris The best thing about this government is that fiction writers can now write whatever crazy stuff they want and it will be totally plausible.
RT @smperris A Pozible to make Geordie take that back and promise never to do it again. [Whatever it was, please donate.]
@dahowlett I’ll miss you.
@PeteLawler It’s actually a crack in the screen right across the front of the webcam. Only noticeable with flare.
I am in love with @RealNickHodge.
There shall be tub waan. I may regret this later. But they know me too well at [REDACTED]. I guess I say “YOLO” now.
Now I’ve made these videos. youtube.com/watch?v=FG4cjB… But what you’re meant to be doing is supporting the @Pozible. pozible.com/edict1
@franksting It’s more than I just can’t be arsed shaving if I don’t have to.
DomSequitur I’m laughing and little farts just keep popping out.
@dahowlett BTW, are you going to be at SuiteWorld next month?
@dahowlett Plural Eyes looks like it’s the tool for the job. I’ll check it out when I’m doing something more than arseing around.
@dahowlett For that reason I always record at 24 bits per channel these days. SD cards are cheap. Gives you room to fix your fuckups.
@dahowlett Changing speed can introduce some quantisation noise to the audio, depending on how many bits you have to play with…
@oberonsghost I think you’d like Jan Švankmajer’s work. Very dark. Very Czech. Have absinthe first.
@dahowlett That said, it’s a PITA to do. But it’s doable.
@dahowlett That’s no the cause here but, yes, that’s fixable. Extract the audio track, re-speed it in your DAW of choice, paste it back in.
And the audio IS slightly out of sync. I’ll fix that tomorrow.
New video: “The 9 O’Clock Resurrection, Day 4”, referring to pozible.com/edict1 Give me your money. youtube.com/watch?v=NN9Otu…
MInd you, Howard govt bought F/A-18 Super Hornets the RAAF said they didn’t need. Andrew Peacock chaired Boeing AU. stilgherrian.com/politics/super…
Metadata analysis works both ways, Mr Rabbit.
Lockheed Martin saw Mr Rabbit coming. He’s so disturbingly thrilled to be rubbing against anything military, and they’d know it.
See, @oberonsghost, this film explains how @TurnbullMalcolm’s “NBN” will work. youtube.com/watch?v=udb6VK…
@oberonsghost No, a Jan Švankmajer animation.
Between them, @R_Chirgwin and @SnarkyPlatypus paint a picture of a glorious future world.
SnarkyPlatypus Whenever you see market analysts talk about technical analysis, drink an entire bottle of Tanqueray.
R_Chirgwin It’s time to start identifying Ayn Rand readers in Australia from their metadata, and burning them at the fucking stake.
@oberonsghost Maybe they should be the Cabinets of Curiosities. I had an even better one, but I forgot it.
RT @oberonsghost: I’ve dubbed him “Lord Buffering of Wentworth”. [Oh I like that. I refer to “Malcolm’s Mystery Boxes” in every street.]
@playswithf1re I’ve on 4G in the city, so it’s 3x faster than at Lilyfield. And it only costs me $5155555587368…
I am reliability* informed that the video will take 16 more minutes to upload. It’s a 3-minute video, Malcolm.

MissBaileyWoof Twitter of the Day. pic.twitter.com/6pcIE55c7y
Uploading the video.
heardatnature “Are the seagulls distracting?”
@kjmci Have you heard of “perspective”?
@staticsan Well, yes, but I was kinda working too. Next time.

The audio is mixed, this time in focus. pic.twitter.com/xoU29cJvpO
@staticsan Not one. I sulk.

Mixing the soundtrack. At the pub. Because this is the 21st century. pic.twitter.com/4VWzPUcYfz
Just lost 15 minutes thanks to forgetting one step of the process. Humph.
@nancycato1 The speech patterns, yes. The school, maybe not.
OK, this is the tedious part of working with video. The 10 and 20 minute gaps as everything renders and copies.
@nancycato1 It’s that Prince Alfred College education. We all learn to enunciate and speak RP. ;)
What are you suggesting?
@nancycato1 You’re right. pozible.com/edict1 is the thing. The audio in the page won’t be much help, but the video may be OK.
@snerdish @juhasaarinen @_chesty Indeed, I might add in a special reward involving me and lingerie.
rashasman My main questions about these additional JSF purchases. Are they single origin fighters? Are they artisanal JSFs?
#WhenHipstersGotoWar
That’s the video editing done. (Quicker when I don’t fuck up the audio sync.) Now, to mix the audio. I may even try uploading it from here.
The video is recorded. I might edit it and mix the soundtrack right here at the corner table. Maybe someone will come and buy me drinks.
@OaaSvc Recurring means not having to re-pimp, so generally better, but my gut feeling for this first one is that it doesn’t matter.
@OaaSvc Exactly. Sun-Tue will be rather good for business, I think.
@ChrissieM Oh that’s most kind. I do realise this is a weird week, however.
RT @_chesty: @stilgherrian wear lingerie [Yes, you’ve given me an excellent idea.]
@SnarkyPlatypus Il est sur le flux de trésorerie. Je ne devrais pas vous le fardeau de telles choses.
The 9 O’Clock Resurrection has reach 60% of initial target, thank you. What can I do to encourage faster growth? pozible.com/edict1
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis frustré. Mais peu de temps je vais enregistrer une vidéo. Et vous?
Has Microsoft recently been doing a batch of re-auths on Hotmail accounts, or does that happen routinely anyway? Asking for a friend.
GordyPls You’re on a desert island with Hitler and a guy who invented hotel Internet access control software, you have a gun with two bullets…

RT @alexkidman: Rules, rules. instagram.com/p/nH2NM8Skpp/ [Rules are made to be broken.]
At the corner table. Of course.
So, here I am in the Sydney CBD…
@steveathon @RealNickHodge Sounds dodgy.
5at5daily “5at5 number 39 | 23 April 2014”: Royals, Pulitzer Prizes, NSA spooks, data breaches (ta, hackers!), old newsreels. tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5…
@juhasaarinen @dobes Yeah, look, I think I see what your problem is there.
christinelove When she said she was into poly I assumed she meant “loving more than one person” not “designing a programming language around polymorphism”
@Gin_ev_ra Those two fixes have been done. Thanks again for the heads-up.
@Gin_ev_ra I’ll fix the last bit, a paste error. And yes, the podcasts are available to all. Community broadcasting model.
RT @dobes What’s worse than the pun @stilgherrian wants to use tomorrow? This headline: mediastatements.wa.gov.au/Pages/Statemen… [OH! OH! OH! OH! YES!]
RT @chrisjrn HAVE YOU GIVEN MONEY TO @stilgherrian YET? pozible.com/project/33510 [Gosh, that’s telling them!]
@OaaSvc Maybe, but my budget doesn’t run to any more pubs, because time.
@RealNickHodge I need to get a different tram ticket for that, I think.
@zerogeewhiz @wolfcat Atomic Goats, eh?
Wondering where I should record today’s video for my @Pozible project.

Another bleak cityscape, courtesy of the dreadful city of Sydney pic.twitter.com/ur0sRJyAcP
Yes, in fact I will head to the Sydney CBD now. If anyone wants me while I’m there, you know what to do.
@matfarrington Cool. As I say, it was a known problem their end. Cloud caching dreadfulness as the rolled out a new interface version.
I’m thinking I might head into the Sydney CBD soon. I need the sunlight to prevent the descent into angst.
@virag064 Hah! It’s a fair thing to rant about though.

axmcc How did I miss this glorious example of “Boxing Weigh-In or Gay Pornography?” from the weekend? HT @tqbr pic.twitter.com/IyEYBAsLsb
@virag064 It’s enough to make you cry, right? Meanwhile the BYOI (Bring Your Own Identity) model emerges… “Log in with Twittter.” Kill me.
@virag064 Why am I not the least bit surprised?
@matfarrington Sorted. They’d been marked “private”. SoundCloud was having problems the night I uploaded them.
@matfarrington They’re all there according to my interface, but not showing when not signed in. Investigating.
@McDermie Indeed, his days are numbered. But he’s probably right.
“Liberal MP Dennis Jensen attacks Joint Strike Fighter order as a ‘dud’ decision”, reports Fairfax. smh.com.au/federal-politi…
@chrisjrn “This podcast is a lie.”
People, do you want to support the world’s finest goat-oriented political and social commentary podcast? Yes, you do. pozible.com/edict1
@scott_thewspot @dobes Good God, you don’t let interns near something as important as puns, I mean, headlines. Professional skills required!

I have no idea who these people are, Your Honour. @ClaireRPorter @maninultimo @darrenpauli pic.twitter.com/L36XKmD2i1
@HarrisonPolites We should, but I have no Melbourne plans just yet. That reminds me that I had a possible reason for a visit though.
That @dobes just said that the pun in my proposed headline was “horrid” is clearly a sign that we’ll be running with it tomorrow.
@damonism Staff announcements, payslips, library access etc etc. HR system creates an Active Directory entry, and then out of flows.
@HarrisonPolites If you have not already done so, get and inhale these books. edwardtufte.com/tufte/
@HarrisonPolites Ah! I read “Image: AAP” as being the source of the chart, not of the… background image?
@HarrisonPolites I’m having a go at the chart, not you. Mentally running thru “How to Lie with Statistics”, a must-read.
@damonism I’m engaged a “casual academic” which is a thing. I’ve no idea about the IR law aspects of it.
@HarrisonPolites All it shows is that people spend more money when shops are open than when they’re closed, which is… reasonable.
@HarrisonPolites Nor does it it compare the overall weekly spend with other weeks, nor factor out school holiday effects.
@HarrisonPolites Of course that chart is meaningless, since it doesn’t compare those Thu and Sat figures with “normal” ones.
@zerogeewhiz It’s the difference between enterprise and consumer software approaches.
@zerogeewhiz I think this is the Great Legacy Chasm.
@zerogeewhiz This strikes me as being clunkier than it needs to be.
jeamland RT @mipearson: Printer discovery protocols are a secret GreenPeace plot to ensure that nothing gets printed ever. [Well played, Greenpeace.]
I like the idea of a vertical concrete uterus, @oberonsghost. Wait, that sounds wrong.
Oh thanks, @cmrnmnning @staticsan @zerogeewhiz @crankypants81, useful background.
I still laugh every time I remember that I actually count as “academic staff” at an actual university. Well, UTS.
I’m checking my UTS staff email account for the first time in months. Quite an adventure.
How come HR systems don’t automate out-of-office messages directly from approved leave applications and rosters? Surely it’d be easy enough.
GrogsGamut “Australia’s decision to go ahead with the purchase will please Lockheed Martin, the company that makes the JSF.” Gee, ya think?
People whose out-of-office message doesn’t say who’s doing their job and paying people while they’re away until 28 April. #IceMoonPrison
Captainturtle If #climate deniers don’t like being called deniers?
I reckon we should call them climate deceivers instead.

atsbinfo R22 and R44 helo pilots warned not to land in tall dry grass due to fire risk. ATSB report. atsb.gov.au/publications/i… pic.twitter.com/5wLHfKRkKz
Is @dobes back in the city yet? Am I required to get angry about something?
No no, @leslienassar, that wasn’t an “insight”, that was a “fistula”. You keep getting them confused.
@leslienassar It’s an irregular noun. Corporate executives don’t have “opinions”, they have “insights”. Just see any press release.
“The Government wants you to take its ‘fixing the budget’ line on blind faith and without evidence”, says @GrogsGamut abc.net.au/news/2014-04-2…
Excellent work happening on #myNYPD, another gloriously successful* hashtag campaign. Well done, everybody.

dimka_syd Is this confirmed @QantasAirways ? I was hoping for a little pick me up before I fly in to melbourne Friday afternoon pic.twitter.com/LUbK8LfcxI

Behold, the all-conquering ibis! pic.twitter.com/7LIgxGUOLX
“Today on ‘I’m an Instant Fucking Expert’, the strategic and geopolitical factors behind defence procurement decisions. I’m Dwayne Arsehat.”
An observation from my SEKRIT goat correspondent. i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/815732…

New blog post: “The 9 O’Clock Resurrection halfway to Target 1” stilgherrian.com/edict/00023c/ #the9pmedict pic.twitter.com/XiOt2zCmhG
@derek_mack @abcnews @RNBreakfast @heosat Bah. You don’t need the adjectives at all. Just use the thing’s name.
Can @abcnews @RNBreakfast please stop using marketing terms like “cutting edge” and “high tech” to describe the F-35 JSF?

TheFix Chuck Hagel met a life-sized robot today. And no one seems that concerned. wapo.st/QDiYf3 pic.twitter.com/aGDTzsMlrI
Oh @swearyanthony I like “Soapy the Ankle [QC] and his sidekick Boy Freedom™”. That gives me Certain Ideas.
So, is it a good thing that comments by the nation’s Attorney-General can so easily be dismantled by a lecturer in critical thinking?
@Max_in_Sydney No, nor any other day.
“Brandis confuses right to be heard with right to be taken seriously”, writes @Reasondisabled theconversation.com/brandis-confus…

mikko It makin noises.
pic.twitter.com/NEzb7go6sv
There’ll be more on the F-35 JSF purchase on ABC @RNBreakfast in the next half-hour, @ellenmfanning just said.
jeamland Dear @TonyAbbottMHR, has there been a cost-benefit analysis as to how efficiently the F-35 can tow boats back?
@purserj Yes, leaving it open to construct legal racist attacks by dressing it up in science drag. Truly obscene.
“Science is not a consensus issue. Science is whatever the science is,” says Maurice Newman, who then say there’s “no evidence”. I see.
So what happens next ? Some people call Maurice Newman a fuckwit, then Soapy the Ankle QC says his rights are being violated.
In which Maurice Newman reckons he knows more about the Earth’s climate than decades of climate science combined. abc.net.au/lateline/conte…
@SnarkyPlatypus C’est une journée excitante à travers le monde.

It’d be great to reach the first target by the end of today, and then concentrate on the next. pozible.com/edict1 pic.twitter.com/xxlPMEJi6r
I’ve been making daily progress videos for The 9 O’Clock Resurrection. youtube.com/watch?v=FG4cjB… pozible.com/edict1

I’m running a @Pozible to resurrect “The 9pm Edict”, and we’re halfway to the first target. pozible.com/edict1 pic.twitter.com/xxlPMEJi6r
“Activity at North Korea site hints at nuke test preps”, reports @starsandstripes stripes.com/news/pacific/a…
On @abcnews @RNBreakfast, are they clear that Joint Strike Fighter (JSF) is the F-35 Lightning II, c.f. “strike fighter” as a generic term?
“Keeping the NSA in Perspective”, from @Stratfor, citing historical justification but fearing PRISM. stratfor.com/weekly/keeping…
People who tag an image as a “photobomb” when there’s simply someone or something unexpected in the distant background. #IceMoonPrison
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je ressens encore modérément terrible, et stressé, mais je vais lutter à travers la journée. Et vous?
Wed plan, draft: Many, many loose ends to be tied up, which means it’s more efficient to use a GTD-like process; @5at5daily; evening TBA.
@gusworldau I prefer something slower, quieter and more painful.
Wednesday. And I hate it.