Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

May 25th, 2015

Just how many ways can Bill Heffernan be useless? themandarin.com.au/35553-public-s…

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So this is how democracy works in the 21st century. Our species is doomed. pic.twitter.com/ORPdVsZxy8

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See, this is the kind of question that keeps me awake at night. twitter.com/NewtonMark/sta…

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@NewtonMark @timpoliti Wouldn’t it be cheaper to buy a sheep?

via TweetDeck in reply to NewtonMark

@timpoliti @NewtonMark This is all becoming quite complicated.

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Sigh. Bondi Beach all drama queen about some bloke with a gun. FFS most of the world has to deal with that shit all the time.

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tinderfessions pic.twitter.com/DLXxB35Qs4

via Buffer (retweeted on 10:01 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@NewtonMark @Pollytics True, but he also get s big bucks while it’s happening.

via TweetDeck in reply to NewtonMark

sspencer_63 He’s a deep thinker is our Treasurer… twitter.com/latikambourke/…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:57 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@CameronWatt @Asher_Wolf Sure. It’s great. But a century ago we’d be able to buy opiates to shut the little fuckers up for the night.

via TweetDeck in reply to CameronWatt

@NewtonMark @Pollytics Joe Hockey. Treasurer of Australia. Aspires to understand arithmetic.

via TweetDeck in reply to NewtonMark

@Asher_Wolf So, you know how we’re always told we’re not allowed to drown our own children … ?

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@jonoabroad Yes. That’s why I ended up covered in her saliva.

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@ABCTV “Issues”? Please have the decency to speak honestly and say “faults”, or at least “problems”. Ditch the mealy-mouthed euphemisms.

via TweetDeck in reply to ABCTV

@Rundll This is no idle thought. I’m happy to bore you to death with detailed discussion of the program’s flaws and dangers. Any time.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Rundll

mscott About to press ‘control alt delete’ to get things sorted out. Either that or I am grabbing a screwdriver and heading up the tower.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:36 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@clairerpullen @australian Well, I could list some names where this would be helpful…

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Gosh. So many people I follow seem to watch broadcast television, watching programs when they’re told to, like animals.

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But what does “committed to the Middle East” actually mean? Helping people? Bombing people? twitter.com/australian/sta…

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What happens on the International Space Station stays on the International Space Station. twitter.com/AstroSamantha/…

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Making poor pepperoni and wine related life choices.

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@jturner_ibrs Oh I think we can do better* than that.

via TweetDeck in reply to jturner_ibrs

thedazzlepants HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA pic.twitter.com/OFOKRKz5yy

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:50 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

deptofaustralia “There are no strings on me,” Tony said in his most Ultron voice, “Haha! Human extinction!” /via @ellinghausen pic.twitter.com/2VygEISaTp

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 8:48 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@benoit_page Ah, yeah. This reassures me no end. And now I’m beginning to cry.

via TweetDeck in reply to benoit_page

“Countries pick sides in global fight for the Internet”, reports @thehill thehill.com/policy/cyberse…

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hootsuite Learn to write a perfect Tweet with this template: ow.ly/LsBAQ pic.twitter.com/apCDymn5RC

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 8:16 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Oh dear God, this is THE BEST suggestion for Australia and Eurovision that I have seen! twitter.com/thewireradio/s…

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“Tony Abbott wants a Japanese submarine. Repeat: Australia’s PM really wants a Japanese boat.” aspistrategist.org.au/tony-abbott-an… pic.twitter.com/gpiZWizBd7

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From @GuardianAus, “Three down: the Sydney siege inquest – podcast episode onetheguardian.com/australia-news…0R Can they matc@WBURUR’s efforts?

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It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it… even if it does mean getting into some tight spotstwitter.com/glengyron/stat…1G

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Me at @zdnetaustralia today: “Lessons from a Sydney cryptoparty” zdnet.com/article/lesson…

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BevanShields Immigration secretary denies it is “a prison ship”
“A prison ship requires someone to be convicted of a crime”

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:35 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

I’m not convinced that George Brandis is the front-bencher with the best-developed sphincter control, however.

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@buddhawilliams Oh I like “The Tight Sphinx”. Yes, I shall use that somewhere.

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@timpoliti Mate, I’m not the one deploying a butt plug during a nationally-televised press conference.

via TweetDeck in reply to timpoliti

vornietom Ew, millennials are so gross with their intuitive understanding of technology and inclusive attitudes towards gay people.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:52 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Since it’s roughly dinner time, and people might be eating, I shall remind you of this tweet from earlier. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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AndrewBrownFCN Gold from @marcfennell:” turned 60 this year or 29 in @RebelWilson years”

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:37 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@OrkneyLibrary Can they open the doors from there? Is there some sort of remote control?

via TweetDeck in reply to OrkneyLibrary

There is general agreement in the front bar that the NSW Minister for Planning’s hairdo is just… just special.

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@Gwyntaglaw Yeah maybe @bengrubb needs to spend more time in local front bars while the regulars discuss Nine News.

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@bengrubb No. I may trigger some conversations by mentioning the news, but the quotes are all from the locals.

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I get the feeling that George Brandis doesn’t have the full support of the chaps in this front bar either.

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OH, in the front bar: “Don’t worry about the terrorists, George [Brandis] is on top of it. George is on top of everything.”

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@jodiem @zdnetaustralia Well that’s kind of what that column is.

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@jodiem Oh thanks. I’m quite surprised by the reaction, actually. A bit more stream-of-ideas than I usually do for @zdnetaustralia.

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@Nightwyrm There is a Picton south of Sydney.

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Crusader Rabbit’s little announcement didn’t make it to the opening items on Nine News. He should have tried doing it in Picton.

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OH, Nine News: “Man accused of killing a woman at a sex party at Picton.” In front bar: “What? Who’d go to Picton for a sex party?”

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juhasaarinen Why is there a new version of Java available? What good will it do?

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:55 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@stainedface @zdnetaustralia Oh ta. I’ve banged on about it before, just not in the context of the cryptoparty thing.

via TweetDeck in reply to stainedface

@mpesce Oh, perhaps. [Shrugs.] Thanks. As you know, the perception of the creator are coloured by the experience of the creation process.

via TweetDeck in reply to mpesce

@junkeedotcom @drearyclocks Oh, you’re allowed to advertise for natives these days?

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@mpesce Why thank you. This piece has been getting more praise than I’d have thought it warranted.

via Plume for Android in reply to mpesce

@exiledsurfer Ah cheers. Illustrations are not my department. I am but a columnist, not permitted anywhere near @zdnetaustralia’s newsroom.

via Plume for Android in reply to exiledsurfer

MerielMyers This is why you should always pick up stray mushrooms off the floor! That escalated quickly I must say pic.twitter.com/lsphL3aTmc

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:16 PM, May 25th, 2015 via Plume for Android)

Shopping then knock-off drink.

via Plume for Android

4Dgifts RMS: ” I developed the GNU operating system, which is often called Linux…” (it gets worse) theguardian.com/technology/201…

via Mobile Web (M5) (retweeted on 4:40 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@OaaSvc I think I did see that, and at the time I was on 4G data rates and installing Steam that way seemed… ill-advised.

via TweetDeck in reply to OaaSvc

5at5 number 189: Emoji wars, ISIS explained, Anonymous’ image problem, $33 billion, and the Golden Gate Bridge. tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5…

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@OaaSvc I have. I haven’t bought the game yet, though, because they use PayPal for card payments and I currently have an “issue”.

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“Libs, ALP need courage under ire in face of opinion polls”, writes @mrseankelly thesaturdaypaper.com.au/opinion/topic/…

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TheNTNews WE’RE HIRING - COME AT US SPORTS EDITORS seek.com.au/job/28712160

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:22 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Not such a bad view today. Yes, the Blue Mountains are blue. instagram.com/p/3GDvNFiFj0/

via Instagram

I just spent two minutes wondering what happened to my drink, and then I remembered that I’m working in the library today.

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@simonband Meh. Close enough. The Illuminati forgive you.

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@MsLods Indeed. One step at a time, right?

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@simonband Also, do not mention the Illuminati thing because they are not allowed to know.

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@simonband Because coffee is more expensive as a commodity, and there’s more labour in making it.

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@rod3000 @MsLods Thanks very much. I was wondering if it were a little too reflective, but the audience was what got me thinking.

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@perrynfowler @tomsulston I keep hearing voices in my head too, no matter how I edit my work.

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@AusCERT Ah, so THEY’RE bringing the speed. Gotcha. I won’t tell a soul.

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@tomsulston Enjoyed the conversation. Perhaps I could have removed a few likes etc. Cleaning up quotes like that is generally allowed.

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@dobes @voltagex @chrisjrn @zdnetaustralia This sort of thing should not be permitted.

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@dobes @chrisjrn Perhaps you should be reported to the principle.

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@tomsulston Some words from our conversation on Friday have ended up here. zdnet.com/article/lesson…

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@chrisjrn @zdnetaustralia Oh FFS. I even stopped to think about the spelling for a moment… and then typed the wrong one anyway.

via TweetDeck in reply to chrisjrn

Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Lessons from a Sydney cryptoparty” zdnet.com/article/lesson…

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One man’s compartment is another’s closet. twitter.com/semibogan/stat…

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@JazzTwemlow @adambspencer So am I. It’s a week with smart people, alcohol, and a sense of irreverence. I’ve missed the last two.

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Yet another demonstration that businesses really have no clue when it comes to personal information. twitter.com/troyhunt/statu…

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OH, Blue Mountains City Library: “I’ve never read Colleen McCollough, but the consensus seems to be that she’s dreadful.”

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The question I have regarding the AusCERT Speed Debate is whether the speed will be supplied or do we have to bring our own.

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Here’s the AusCERT Speed Debate from last year. @adambspencer was MC. It’s @JazzTwemlow this year. youtube.com/watch?v=XlBqNq…

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I’ve just received the final motions for the AusCERT Speed Debating session Friday week. I shall be arguing some… interesting viewpoints.

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Column filed for @zdnetaustralia. It contains uncorroborated opinions and a boost to herd immunity.

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@ScottFitzG That adds a whole new dimension to “taking one for the team”.

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So about these ministerial butt plugs. Are they chosen by Credlin out of PMO? Or is it a House business thing, so Pyne?

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helveticade look at the jaws on these guys twitter.com/victoriapolice…

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 1:52 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Still, Crusader Rabbit just called Saudi Arabia an illegitimate state, so that should go down well.

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There’s a special one just for being on television. After the Sky News debacle he won’t try a different one again. twitter.com/bastardsheep/s…

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I can’t stop thinking about George’s butt plug now.

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Yeah, this is getting into the spirit! twitter.com/MrCsandDs/stat…

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@paulkidd Which line is that, Sunshine?

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Looks like George’s butt plug is getting to JUST the right spot now..pic.twitter.com/wImd0eqZtUtU

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chrisjoregan This is it finally it guys. At long last this latest expansion of the security state is the one that will stop terrorism

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 1:28 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Tell me more about the bad terrorist, Daddy George.

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George Brandis is my favourite daddy though. I don’t like them TOO bright.

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It’s like the government is grooming the citizens, to use a word that’s popped up in a Royal Commission somewhere.

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The Rabbit government can’t be arsed being subtle about it any more, can they. Terrorism fear flags flags fear bid daddy come to daddy.

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GreenJ If you are alienated, then you are the problem.

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 1:20 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Some might think that Crusader Rabbit’s presser has been cynically timed to work off the Martin Place incident’s inquiry starting today.

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Well this is my afternoon sorted. Thanks, Barnaby. twitter.com/TawarRazaghi/s…

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So of the four middle-aged white men fronting this presser in Canberra, which would have the worst erectile dysfunction?

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Or, you can wait until Friday or so, when part of “The 9pm Edict” podcast will doubtless consist of me reading those tweets all shouty.

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Earlier this morning I tweeted a series of tweets related to this bullshit Counter-Terrorism Minister-cum-Tsar. You may scroll back to look.

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What sort of uncaring animal Prime Minister schedules a press conference during lunchtime?

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umairh If you think eating food is a waste of time, you’re living your life so horribly wrong it was wasted on you. twitter.com/sominisengupta…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:04 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@mpesce @jeamland @zdnetaustralia KILL THE FISH KILL ALL THE FUCKIN’ FISH BEFORE THE BASTARDS HAVE TIME TO HATCH THEIR EVIL PLOT.

via TweetDeck in reply to mpesce

@jeamland @mpesce @zdnetaustralia WELL IT IS ALSO GOING TO SMELL OF FISH SO YOU’D BETTER GET USED TO IT.

via TweetDeck in reply to jeamland

I have escaped to Katoomba for lunch before polishing today’s @zdnetaustralia column. It may therefore end up with food stains.

via Plume for Android

For Canberra watchers, I propose a new hashtag:

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jturner_ibrs Get it while it’s hot twitter.com/techworld_au/s…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:25 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

jrsalzman I got an arm blown off in Baghdad, but because I’m critical of the GOPs Memorial Day fundraising I’m not a “real veteran?” @brooke0770

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:05 PM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

EveyJacob This is amazing. pic.twitter.com/pS8ctA0RSj

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:38 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

jstogdill I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that “inspired by” doesn’t mean “supported by.” twitter.com/truBrain/statu…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:12 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@0x1C Well, that’s not a “trademark” so much as a… hobby?

via TweetDeck in reply to 0x1C

@dobes @GordyPls Why would you want to unsee this?

via TweetDeck in reply to dobes

@0x1C Well, I did just post a photograph…

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Now, shall I say that the photograph is not me, or is me?

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I suspect that @GordyPls is imagining something along these lines… pic.twitter.com/UqguEy7M57

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ibogost 5 Top Whatevers on Whatevering

1. Keep whatevering—every day
2. Do the thing
3. Learn the other thing
4. Possess this virtue
5. Passion!

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 10:32 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@ssharwood Hey, just because News Ltd does some arsehat things sometimes doesn’t mean that at other times they’re not 100% spot on.

via TweetDeck in reply to ssharwood

Still, we’re talking about Australia’s Great Loss-making Broadsheet whinging about the competitor. Again. It’s always all about them. Yawn.

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Yes, I think the critical thing that we all need to focus on for corporate success is what the board members choose to wear.

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So the unique selling proposition of Todd Sampson is that he wear a t-shirt. And they wonder why Fairfax is fucked. twitter.com/mtats/status/6…

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Progressing* the plan*.

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s_bridges Referendum on whether every software engineer who’s ever worked on iTunes should get in the bin.

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 9:53 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Mon plan: Write for @zdnetaustralia; errands & lunch, Katoomba; more writing, because deadlines; @5at5daily; quiet, lonely evening.

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HOW MUCH METH, TONY?

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Just how much meth does Crusader Rabbit have with him in that bunker?

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I assume that someone has already asked how many flags there will be at today’s presser?

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@oberonsghost I believe this is the traditional response, yes.

via TweetDeck in reply to oberonsghost

fakeedbutler READ THIS FUCKEN SENTENCE pic.twitter.com/ySDJ5xZHGM

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:14 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

So is he suffering from constipation, or what? twitter.com/afreedma/statu…

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Look, Ben, the important thing in the Crusader Rabbit era is not to understand the world, but to fight it. twitter.com/iPhoneBen/stat…

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juhasaarinen Must practice this move. twitter.com/KennethClamor/…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:02 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Calm down, Virginia, or I’m reporting you to Cory Bernardi. twitter.com/LaTrioli/statu…

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MsLods So the Fed govt is establishing a “National Facial Biometric Matching Capability” to improve govts’ ability to share & match facial images

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:53 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

pdykstra Today’s lesson in headline writing 1) fm Melbourne, OZ Herald-Sun 2) fm Wall St. Journal pic.twitter.com/zFh0aEfmyH

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:51 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Seriously, someone tell me who really invented this Counter-Terrorism Minister thing, so I can send them a video of me laughing at them.

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“Capturing”. “Harnesses.” No, Sir, we citizens are not livestock. New vocabulary please. twitter.com/servantofchaos…

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Note that I am not equating Crusader Rabbit with Adolf Hitler. That would be childish and stupid. Hitler was a great orator.

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In part “Mein Kampf” is a memoir, yes @WarWraith. “My Struggle”, as opposed to “Battlelines”. Defining yourself in terms of conflict.

via TweetDeck in reply to WarWraith

I do hope Crusader Rabbit continues bunkering down and reading the memoirs of wartime leaders. Why stop at Churchill?

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Imagine if an Australian were actually harmed by terrorism. How many extra layers of bureaucracy would we need then?

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I look forward to improving Australia’s already highly successful fight against terrorism by adding an extra layer of bureaucracy.

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Awaiting the news story saying that the Counter-Terrorism Tsar will be a fairer Tsar than last year’s.

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feed_the_chooks I think I hate tyler brule more than ISIS

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:33 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

This observation is essentially correct. twitter.com/wine_o_phile/s…

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So whoever in The Media started referring to a counter-terrorism “tsar”, or copied the press release, kill yourself. twitter.com/Nawiehekatl/st…

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Australia has a Minister for Border Protection too. So, Defence can’t protect borders, and A-G can’t fight the crime of terrorism. Got it.

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I suppose what Crusader Rabbit is saying is that neither the Attorney-General nor Minister for Defence are competent in their portfolios.

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It doesn’t take long for Crusader Rabbit to find a new fucked-up way to distract from fuck-ups, does it. “Counter-Terrorism Minister” WTF?

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NewtonMark Um - Why? We already have police. RT @sunriseon7: PM Tony Abbott will announce Australia’s first Counter-terrorism Minister today

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:24 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

According to a media release just received, the Internet Society of Australia is rebranding as Internet Australia, dropping “ISOC-AU”.

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SwiftOnSecurity (The only reason people think creation/modification dates mean anything is that Windows doesn’t have a graphical way to edit them built-in.)

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:17 AM, May 25th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

More details of my world, past and present, were posted yesterday in my Weekly Wrap. stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/25… pic.twitter.com/rT6oEhtJjf

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Mon plan, draft: Write for @zdnetaustralia; errands & lunch, Katoomba; more writing, because deadlines; @5at5daily; quiet evening.

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koqoo Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:31 AM, May 25th, 2015 via Plume for Android)

Norsebysw Latin abbreviations > 2015 English:

e.g. = like,
i.e. = you know,
etc. = or whatever,
et al. = or whoever,
cf. = check out,
viz. = you know

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:28 AM, May 25th, 2015 via Plume for Android)

Monday. Whoever they are, just punch them in the face. Very hard. And with no warning. Monday.

via Plume for Android