Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

May 16th, 2016

“Tony Abbott has left the building.” Except, well, he hasn’t. pic.twitter.com/CkzIHlslJi

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” has been a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth, but all things must end. So there it rests.

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Tony Ate… at Eight #78: Tony suppresses his rage at the cakes being in a box. (Photo: Chris Eastmanpic.twitter.com/Q8yZDY758Z8Z

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xGogsx This might be my favourite headline of all-time. pic.twitter.com/MAzRXN5H4o

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@andrewsadauskas Meh. It’s all downhill once you’re past Waverton.

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Yeah this question has been troubling me all day. twitter.com/davidlipson/st…

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Or, you know, just throw a brick into it. FFS, stop over-thinking this stuff. twitter.com/hackaday/statu…

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So does anyone NOT have an Australian election podcast?

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Well you have to. Have you seen what @marcfennell does to you if you don’t? twitter.com/MolksTVTalk/st…

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@SunEconomy I was called “m’nigga” in the US once. It transcends melanin, apparently.

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“Nipples like chewed raisons”? Sure, we’ve all been there. twitter.com/forest_fr1ends…

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I like this tweet, because I don’t think I’ve been called a “spotty young brat” in about 40 years. twitter.com/Patrow17/statu…

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kcarruthers Fight on for ownership of the memes of production? twitter.com/joshbutler/sta…

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Let’s get something clear about “Western Sydney”, and how far* away Parramatta is, shall we? pic.twitter.com/hRcrO36w7F

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@whatsthestoryAU @Chiangrabbo @theage Sorry, yes, I never meant to imply that public schools are free of arseholes. Sorry to hear.

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@paulsbootique @oz_f Oh, oh, that’s he demographic centre of Sydney and far more accessible to more people.

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Because there’s never been a more exciting time to engage in some random xenophobic paranoia. twitter.com/SBSNews/status…

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“Me and my girl Darleen are flyin’ from Memphis to Fatback, Arkansas, and Gustav Klimt is our faverit artiaste.” twitter.com/sarahjeong/sta…

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@thegrugq Yep, overthinking things is usually a mistake. Sigh.

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@thegrugq And yet… are either of us surprised?

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@juhasaarinen Yeah look, I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but both @thegrugq and I are geeks, tho perhaps of slightly different kinds.

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@thegrugq I love the fact that they didn’t check it for four years. Great work.

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@FionaPattenMLC This is true. I’ll make sure to give you a shout next time I’m in Melbourne.

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For those of you who don’t know Adelaide’s Burnside Village, it basically a low-rent version of Sydney’s Double Bay. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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@deejbah Oh dear God, I am literally LOLing out loud because that is the absolute truth!

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@0x1C @triplejHack @stephenstockwel @TomTilley Well that was my experience working on a Triple J program back in [REDACTED].

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And now that I’ve hinted at some of the repressed bullshit in my life, here’s me on @HumansOfThis. omnyapp.com/shows/humans-o…

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@arcadiagt5 Heh. Let’s just all agree that it never happened.

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I’m not at all bitter, why do you ask?

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Yeah well the entire “top private school” sector is effectively a bunch of institutionalised medieval cunts. twitter.com/whatsthestoryA…

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The latter. It’s always the latter. twitter.com/marcuskelson/s…

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Well this should be a straightforward analysis and reporting task. twitter.com/thegrugq/statu…

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@CompleatCunt Sorry, I have no sense of humour whatsoever.

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Getting a little turned on here. Tell me more, @MikeCarlton01. twitter.com/MikeCarlton01/…

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Oh, for those unaware that Australia’s right-wing Quadrant magazine was CIA-funded Cold War propaganda..overland.org.au/2014/06/overla…S2

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@PollHereford @ResignInShame Yeah but I don’t watch that shit. Life’s too short.

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I suppose I should un-mute @CompleatCunt now that I know who it is.

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Except they BEGAN by being funded by a CIA cut-out, so government-funded. Hypocrites? Or “useful idiots”? twitter.com/benpobjie/stat…

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PhaethonTweets Great, now we have a bunch of /naked/ drug addicts roaming the streets…
twitter.com/JeromeTaylor/s…

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TalkingPicsABC The Future of Journalism- @jonkudelka from the @australian pic.twitter.com/hjCpy4ogGp

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@AUSFestivus I did, sorry, yes and thank you. I got distracted by other conversations. I find his analysis scarily correct.

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@SnarkyPlatypus You fuckin’ went there. Sort your life out.

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The “shitty” bit is a metaphor. Mostly. @guardian

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There must be an entire unit at the @guardian dedicated to documenting people’s shitty sex lives. twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…

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@PointZeroOne True. It’s current affairs. But let’s not get too picky. At the ABC it’s the same department now.

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Well there’s the gin gone.

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There was a time when you had to wear a suit while reading the news on radio. Now look at it. twitter.com/triplejHack/st…

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jessradio Tip #1: Be hot and take nude photos of yourself, apparently twitter.com/fastcompany/st…

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@0x1C Like I’m going to get into an argument about that.

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@PollHereford @NuclearAnthro But my God, you’ve brought back memories from almost three decades back. Dorinda Hafner is a force of nature.

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Robert Crumb is my spirit animal. pic.twitter.com/MUO6RosBiy

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@PollHereford @NuclearAnthro Yeah? ‘Cos the Bill Gordon book is the one I have, illustrations by Robert Crumb. And I know Dorinda Hafner.

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Can I just say, @NuclearAnthro, that this cookbook informed much of my kitchen style. pic.twitter.com/SbPz2OefQy

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Because it’s a day with a “y” in it. twitter.com/eliasplastiras…

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Pro Tip: If it can’t be fixed with gin, it can’t be fixed.

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Look. @mearesy. Love you work, but there are limits. twitter.com/mearesy/status…

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If tech-law (mostly Australian) is your thing, @MsLods’ “Law + tech news round-up” should be on your reading list. mslods.com/2016/05/16/law…

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jothornely For those catching up with this or any Austen Tayshus story, here’s a useful visual aid. pic.twitter.com/XuvbSFRe8Z

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Go on, take it out for another quick spin. twitter.com/TheRealBuzz/st…

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“Quadrant calls Australia Council funding loss a leftist ‘act of revenge’” theguardian.com/media/2016/may… Because it’s the only insult they know.

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@R_Chirgwin @purserj I said that, but I think I’m wrong.

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Once more, I draw people’s attention to this sensible proposal. twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurit…

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I am making some appalling typos today. Maybe I need some wine.

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@bunjaree @Gergyl The wallabies can’t reach up to eat the kiwifruit anyway.

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@dobes @gusworldau Also, there’s proof here from someone called Citation Needed. pic.twitter.com/mZ1FCzYReZ

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@dobes @gusworldau I have never been inside a swamp wallaby. Not even when drunk. And you can’t prove that I have.

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@gusworldau Except swamp wallaby isn’t good food because they smell really bad. They’re also called black stinkers. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swamp_wal…

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A swamp wallaby just wandered past just 10m from the house here at @bunjaree, but it saw me and hopped away into the under undergrowth.

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SWAMP WALLABY! SWAMP WALLABY! SWAMP WALLABY! SWAMP WALLABY! SWAMP WALLABY! SWAMP WALLABY! SWAMP WALLABY! SWAMP WALLABY!

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purserj NO NO THEY ARE NOT twitter.com/HuffPostAU/sta…

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With luck, the media plane will simply fly west, and dump them all into the sea. twitter.com/telester/statu…

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A brief summary of the Australian election campaign so far. pic.twitter.com/tcOdt3Ae0U

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LinaArabii Meanwhile in the Middle East.. pic.twitter.com/K9yocRwd0R

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nehadk Sharia Law is real people. twitter.com/ABCaustralia/s…

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“US man shoots himself in foot while adjusting sock” theguardian.com/us-news/2016/m… Best second par ever. pic.twitter.com/VbcD9bl4nt

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MrDenmore Why did the Liberal Party stop being liberal? Turnbull must feel like a jazz musician stuck in a country and western festival

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:06 PM, May 16th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

@SnarkyPlatypus @kcarruthers Why thank you. Mind you, I’m just channeling Deloitte research analysis.

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You should so bid for this because @FionaPattenMLC is a delightful drinking companion and she has great stories. twitter.com/rightsagenda/s…

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@franksting I’m not sure, TBH. I’ve never had to pay attention to that fine detail of the mechanics.

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I love mode, but love mode come later. twitter.com/jonoabroad/sta…

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@franksting Writs are issues at 6pm tonight. aec.gov.au/election/timet… Caretaker conventions start then (although they’re just a convention).

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I would hire this van just so I could park it across the road from a design agency for a whole week. twitter.com/rpy/status/732…

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No, “data journalism” is journalism done by people who know the difference between a mean and a median. twitter.com/KarlskiB/statu…

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NickEvershed normally use this tool for before/after photos, but works just as well w inflation forecasts theguardian.com/business/grogo… pic.twitter.com/DjVnZktzeT

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ellinghausen KFC Geelong - home of the Zinger pic.twitter.com/gZTRFFNskV

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 2:06 PM, May 16th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

ruslankogan haha! Harvey Norman using a Kogan TV in their QV store. QUIZ: How long after this tweet will it be removed? :p pic.twitter.com/EttP30fnLz

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:06 PM, May 16th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

glengyron What’s the key to your party?
Strong on IR
So what’s your policy on Penalty Rates?
Strong on IR
But how?
Strong on IR

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 2:06 PM, May 16th, 2016 via TweetDeck)

joshgnosis Pyne on Sky was asked about the Coalition’s six point plan for the economy. He lists eight points, but insists it is six.

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Sorry, why are we in such a hurry to get to Albury? twitter.com/techAU/status/…

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davidlipson Pyne: I’m not a political commentator…
PVO: You’ve got your own show!

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MolksTVTalk Some buttons on your jacket, for starters… twitter.com/Scoopla/status…

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Why would I remember what a Sky News commentator said? twitter.com/leslienassar/s…

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REVEALED: The secret radioactive potion that gives @AntonyGreenABC his brain power and potent sex appeal. pic.twitter.com/Iu48lXMkIM

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@james_r_mcgrath I’ve never been to Grafton. What’s it like, Jane?

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Telstra’s voicemail-to-text algorithm seems to have decided that my name is Gary.

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@franksting There’d be huge cost savings in that.

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@moylecroft I’m not talking to you any more.

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Also, if you want to be a published writer, you might as well start getting used to the abuse. Amiright, ladies? @JohnBirmingham

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If you would like to spend Friday night being abused by @JohnBirmingham, there’s still a few spots available. twitter.com/JohnBirmingham…

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@moylecroft That’s right. That’s kinda where we started.

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@purserj You say the nicest things sometimes.

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So, the week is already stupidly stupid. Excellent.

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“And does Sir dress to the right, or to the left?” twitter.com/Rob_Stott/stat…

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“… and then be 2035 we should be able to build submarines THIS big!twitter.com/StephieBorys/s…xc

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Ah, one of Australia’s greatest traditions! [Wipes tear from eye.] twitter.com/Stevie_Easton/…

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Also, you can’t hurry love. No, you just have to wait. She said love don’t come easy. It’s a game of give and take. So love is a sloth.

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Hmmm. That quick sloth turned into an unexpectedly long sloth. I guess you just can’t rush sloths. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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OK so they weren’t the best three words to type into Google Images.

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It’s sort of like the start of a Group Goatse session. twitter.com/AFSCMEMN5/stat…

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So if Abbott was “potent”, does that mean Turnbull is… wowtwitter.com/dfg77/status/7…7q

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tfswebb google searches for “razzamatazz” spiked during a @frankelly08 interview with chris pyne earlier today pic.twitter.com/iDy70DiqWx

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Plans even further ahead, at least those relating to A Certain Podcast, have also been announced. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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Plans for further ahead may be found in the Weekly Wrap. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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Mon plan, draft: Quick sloth, because meds and headache; a bunch of bookkeeping; sort out a bunch of loose ends; complain generally.

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Ah. I thought this wake-early thing was a bit dodgy. Let me just rearrange a few things.

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If only there were some sort of computer network where you look things up, maybe even some sort of encyclopaedia… twitter.com/heyangeIs/stat…

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I hope it involves rectal probes.

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Does it involve rectal probes? I bet it involves rectal probes. twitter.com/ssharwood/stat…

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mrmcdowall So the average web page is the size of the original DOOM, and 2016 DOOM is 51GB. Joke’s on you Webpages of 2039.

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Wow. I’ve head Nigel Farage called many things, but… twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…

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@KrazyKarl910 @jamesmassola That’s part of the reason I find this all so fascinating.

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Should you be interested, or bored, either way, I was up early this morning and if you scroll back you’ll find a bit of a rant.

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joshgnosis NBN exclusive today, apparently, from Hansard from October last year. pic.twitter.com/YeM1Lurt6Z

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@KrazyKarl910 @jamesmassola Well that’s kind of my point. I was going to mention that time has faded their glory etc etc.

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I agree with @edbott. Read the entire thread to understand how we should* build The Future™. twitter.com/chromakode/sta…

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@KrazyKarl910 Yep, Turnbull can roll his sleeves up and muck in just like the rest of us. It’s just that his sleeves are tailored.

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@haruki_zaemon @SnarkyPlatypus Well this plan seems to be coming together quite nicely.

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TheMandarinAU 2000 Immigration department staff have signed a statement of no confidence in senior management and the government themandarin.com.au/64842-dibp-sta…

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@SnarkyPlatypus Well she’s the brains of the outfit.

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“Tont Abbott has left the building.” Except, well, he hasn’t. pic.twitter.com/tVnyZqr20r

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“Tony Ate… at Eight” has been a tribute to Abbott’s love of things in his mouth, but all things must end. Apart from the 2000 AEST repeat.

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Tony Ate… at Eight #78: Tony suppresses his rage at the cakes being in a box. (Photo: Chris Eastmanpic.twitter.com/FcF5Xxdnbfbf

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1. Animatronics. 2. Lifting the gin bottle strengthens the muscles. twitter.com/newsbanks/stat…

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@SnarkyPlatypus I would not be opposed to slapping Eddie Maguire.

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“Intervene”? Or “express an opinion, just like everyone else in a democracy”? Intervention requires actual power. twitter.com/jamesmassola/s…

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@SnarkyPlatypus I’d be better if Eddie Maguire greeted everyone at the airport personally.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Welcome back to Australia. Happy Monday.

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Yes, well, Brandis is a fuckwit. I think that’s pretty well established now. twitter.com/moylecroft/sta…

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Sure, but in Rollerball they got trashed on drugs and in the morning they started shooting trees with serious guns. twitter.com/NicoleWill100/…

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@ridojiri Well, maybe it’s not quite that small a world then. :)

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@marcuskelson @mirakyun I refuse to try it. Not because I’m afraid of new things, because I love trying new things, but on principle.

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@ridojiri Hah! Hi there, it’s a small world.

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@ridojiri @mirakyun But yes, the creator(s) of pumpkin spice latte should be jailed for even longer.

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Yes, @mirakyun @ridojiri, kicking a dog to death is awful.

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mirakyun @ridojiri Never tried it tbh! It’s that awful?

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ridojiri @mirakyun i would rather kick a dog to death than have a spiced pumpkin latte

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mirakyun i kinda love the first world whiteness of this pic.twitter.com/pXaD9rAIID

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@contriteshadow Well, he is still challenging for the top job, so there’s that.

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@coldsnacks Hey it might have been a lucky fluke. But both that and choosing your own ties? Now that’s the real deal.

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Or translated, “Police say you need to stop investigating when we kill people or you won’t be safe any more.” twitter.com/MarkUrban01/st…

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@LightheartedDan Yeah, though that doesn’t get you equity. But yes, a lot of Startupland innovation is “known thing, but on an app”.

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@aleeb88 The “red wine episode” doesn’t narrow it done. None dated July 2015 either. Not that I’m desperate to know.

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@LightheartedDan I do remember that, and it was hilarious. I also like “crowdfunded equity”. We already have that. The stock market.

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Whenever I see someone described as a technology “evangelist” I think, yeah, there’s a reason they nailed those fuckers to a cross.

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@JohnBirmingham Ah, John, I am winning SO many friends this morning! And influencing people!

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@JohnBirmingham Mate, you admit your problem first, and then we’ll trade shopping lists.

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Well that’s decided it for me. Turnbull has what it takes to lead the nation. pic.twitter.com/UiO5VZGVDc

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At least I know that I’m an arsehole. Admitting the problem is the first step.

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@Grumblymum He runs a startup incubator. He made a bunch of dollars in the first dotcom boom, and now invests in new businesses.

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@arcadiagt5 Perhaps. I’m just completely over Startupland bubblethink, so fuck him. [Shrugs] Though I’d probably just mute them.

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Right, time for a coffee.

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Some people are such huge arseholes that they need another, smaller arsehole to deal with the shit from the first arsehole.

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Amount by which I’m heartbroken that @paulg blocked me? Well, how big is an electron? So yeah, maybe half that.

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All hail the worshippers of Uber and Lyft! I am literally LOLing at @paulg right now. And they gobble it up! pic.twitter.com/6sBkG0jDbu

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Yeah sure it is, @paulg, sure it is. Sometimes this Startupland “thinking” is beyond parody. Also, “vector”. pic.twitter.com/9o3TLKBSs1

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HAHAHA! Awww… poor widdl@paulglg, he’s put on his peril-sensitive sunglasses so he doesn’t have to see anything badtwitter.com/larsbalker/sta…Rp

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Also, he seems to be turning into wookiee. twitter.com/rachelking/sta…

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I guess @paulwallbank didn’t see my little rant just then. twitter.com/paulwallbank/s…

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Also, I seem to have just workshopped a segment for the next episode of “The 9pm Edict” podcast. This will end well.

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Well that seems to have set the scene for the week ahead.

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Nah fuck that, Twitter, I’ve got a life to lead. pic.twitter.com/z6tNEf7lxZ

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Imagine actually being this guy, and despair. twitter.com/paulg/status/7…

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Imagine being so entitled that you can’t even conceive that you don’t get everything you want by pressing a button. twitter.com/paulg/status/7…

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Imagine being so narcissistic that your reaction to the joy of visiting another city is to moan about inconvenience. twitter.com/paulg/status/7…

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Imagine having memory loss so bad that you can’t even remember how you lived your own life just seven years ago. twitter.com/paulg/status/7…

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Imagine being so deep in your micro culture bubble that you can’t even imagine life without certain smartphone apps. twitter.com/paulg/status/7…

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This must be one of the most English sentences ever written. twitter.com/RevRichardCole…

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I didn’t plan to be up this early on a Monday, but I got eight hours of decent-quality sleep, so here we are. This will not be pretty.

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Monday. We told you about this, but were you listening? Monday.

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