@i386 @MarkDiStef @lanesainty I know I’m like 14.
RT @MatthewBevan: NSW Minister whose portfolios would’ve very much benefited from census data. #CensusFail https://t.co/v4YJVuQm8m
Perhaps some sort of testimonial. https://t.co/8C0XQYjmfI
Good. https://t.co/ek8zKCXXb0
RT @davispg: They’d try @TheNTNews however the clacker is currently denying entry ….
HT @stilgherrian https://t.co/rInNJNYjgr
RT @SimonThomsen: World’s best practice… https://t.co/pKXrqMjOuE
TheNTNews DEAR ABS, STICK YOUR CENSUS UP YOUR CLACKER #CensusFail
jrostant Is it my current age, or my age when I started? #CensusFail
RT @bengrubb: A reader of @theage predicted tonight’s #censusfail using simple maths https://t.co/DpfMZe5Wnp via @Asher_Wolf https://t.co/D…
@krissyistormy @IndigenousX @ALS_NSWACT @NITV Gotta admit, though, it’s a classic of the genre. If it were 1947.
Don’t forget, too, tha@ABSCensusus tweeted all their “It’s tonight†tweets last#smoothlyasexpectedexpected
TheNTNews BREAKING: JARRYD HAYNE QUITS GOLD COAST TITANS AFTER ONLY A WEEK TO GO WORK FOR THE ABS TO RESTORE CENSUS WEBSITE #CensusFail
JazzTwemlow Reports are they’ve oiled the privacy invading brisket pump and the cogs are now back to maximum census
#CensusFail pic.twitter.com/dIq5k7xqsA
@joneaves Oh someone else found that and I retweeted it.
cathywilcox1 Census to the node.
@krissyistormy @IndigenousX @ALS_NSWACT @NITV Dunno, I was paying attention to other stuff, but there were a goodly few retweets.
jdub Lots of people talking about ABS hubris tonight. A 4 hour DNS TTL for a major launch is technical hubris of the highest order. #census2016
twistieman As a professional in cloud computing I can honestly say IBM’s $10M price tag for the @ABSCensus seemed far too good to be true. #census2016
Tim_Beshara This Census is just a really expensive way of ensuring that every single household knows the Government is totally incompetent
@joneaves What are you referring to?
StatCan_eng Wishing our friends at the @ABSCensus a happy #CensusNight! pic.twitter.com/J1CGOnzFSO
@krissyistormy @IndigenousX @ALS_NSWACT @NITV Classy stuff, isn’t it. :/
ABSCensus To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential. Census data reveals there are 43,541 General Managers in Australia.
There’s a lot going on in this photo, Damian. https://t.co/UfqWI97tt0
@nkav @CryptoPartySyd I was. But it’s done now.
@davispg Thank the gods, it was only a glass.
RT @timverrall: The boss of the ABS in the next census….
Have you changed jobs in the last 5 years ✔ï¸
#Census2016
troyhunt Scale is hard… pic.twitter.com/dFxbe4nbvU
You know where the door is. https://t.co/LkRnHJFrFh
@MargotSaville Nah, not by a long shot.
@jplonie Fair point.
According to @spreaker there was 167 of you listening to that livestream of “The 9pm Edictâ€. Are your lives really that emp#9pmlivelive
Well that’s that then. Not the best episode, but probably not the worst#9pmliveve
@twiddlekins No that’s a pre-recorded thing to play as you drop into the live stream and I forgot to update it#9pmliveve
Hmmm. I’ve got the audio patching different from how I’d planned, but it should still work. Here we #9pmlivelive
About to start the livestream. #9pmlive https://t.co/CF4LX1B8zC
RT @bengrubb: ROFL. This is actually a real thing on the website of the firm that load tested the Census https://t.co/s3pibOJtCz https://t.…
I guess this was the plan all along. #smoothlyasexpected https://t.co/ujhzouaqqn
mumbrella The people who do the census site should have a beer with the people doing the Olympics streaming #census2016 #CensusFail #7Olympics
@jdub I shall!
oz_f I really hope China hacked the census website in revenge for Sun Yang
@jdub Hmmmâ€@spreakerer does have Skype integration but… Nah, I want to stay at the political level this time. Also, I’m lazy tonight. :)
@PointZeroOne Pretty much.
Fifteen minutes to go. #9pmlive https://t.co/CF4LX1B8zC
@irisherself @kipster003 “Custard duck†was a phrase I was allowed to use in an article to replace the obvious one that got rejected.
RT @kirstenaiken: Keep trying … you might get through! The PM has finished his #MyCensus #ABSStats https://t.co/dNaQivtXUt
RT @PointZeroOne: I see Incident Management found the login details for the twitter account…. https://t.co/CG9jeIbGHU
True fact. I’ve already cancelled my original plans for tomorrow. https://t.co/RNuou7EuZn
Goddammit! https://t.co/dMzvRBG6ob
@oliyoung @michaelneale Well that’s what I would’ve thought.
@michaelneale We all love a good train wreck, Michael.
@jdub Wait, what? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Half an hour to go. #9pmlive https://t.co/CF4LX1B8zC
RT @skwashd: The lights should be turned to red to indicate that the @ABSCensus site is down. #CensusFail https://t.co/36EAA0t8JB
chrisjoregan If only there was some way of using numbers to calculate how many people would need to use a given thing at a given time
zyzzyvamedia If someone dies of boredom waiting for the #census2016 site to load, should they still be counted? #bettercensusquestions
feed_the_chooks Bread
Isn’t stress testing to 1.5x average expected load a little, well, low? Isn’t it spikey and full of F5 refreshes? https://t.co/JyZya28AKt
@feed_the_chooks I’ll pay that.
RT @AtomicMPC: “This boat is unsinkable!” https://t.co/NHl8kF2IMe
So @GreenJ is part of the conspiracy. Also, I agree that Numberforce should be one word. #numberwang https://t.co/1DtYy9gje4
AtomicMPC Somewhere, in the bowels of Australian Number Force… #CensusFail pic.twitter.com/4ycD6B1BHa
This is a complete custard duck.
RT @cowspanker: Hey @IBM can we have our $10 million back? #census2016 #censusfail
https://t.co/MSYk0jiIyo https://t.co/gelN3XsX9m
@trentyarwood I’m going with #smoothlyasexpected. https://t.co/g2fsoaL4hF
Less we 4get. #CensusFail https://t.co/NVA9qN2P3M
So who wore it best? #freshinourmemories or #smoothlyasexpected?
#CensusFail
burgotastic So, how long’s it supposed to sit here? 20 minutes so far pic.twitter.com/rqXBijp1dg
Oh here’s a new one. https://t.co/TNHsuT1Aik
RT @bengrubb: The Australian federal government paid at least $54,000 to Revolution IT to perform load testing on the Census site https://t…
“Smoothly as expected.pic.twitter.com/6zZ5GLcoVzVz
One hour to go. #9pmlive https://t.co/CF4LX1B8zC
And we all thought denial was a river in Egypt… https://t.co/g2fsoaL4hF
RT @conradhc: “Smoothly as expected.†#censusfail https://t.co/H8BIzjQuTt
josefajardo also … credit where credits due … thank IBM for the Census data capacity issues … pic.twitter.com/mnxPo8sRsP
jturner_ibrs CISO “Is it ABS?”
Me “no I think IBM’s running the site”
CISO “<laughter>oh no, that’s going to crash”
- earlier today #CensusFail
RT @michaelneale: You can send all your census data to me and I will type it in next week.
RealNickHodge Can even ping @ABSCensus #MyCensus pic.twitter.com/un4m9wFc1j
Tarale OH THIS IS REALLY GOOD #CensusFail pic.twitter.com/UvXExx3gLz
ssharwood @jpwarren tracert has it hanging at nxg.net.au
TheDanBarrett I really hope that the person responsible for the #CensusFail IT infrastructure gets a raise tomorrow. They’ve done great work tonight.
So it’s basically @will_ock’s fault. https://t.co/9l6osQESKn
I have a discount code for SurveyMonkey if anyone at @ABSCensus needs it?
(I don’t really, I’m just making a bad joke.)
I went for the upgrade. Fixes all those load balancer problems. https://t.co/vx4el32J1I
RT @norton_tim: Anyone got anything higher than a 102? I’m calling 102… 102… anyone got an advance on 102…? #censusfail https://t.co…
RT @snurb_dot_info: Twitter polls, surely. RT @stilgherrian: Maybe the whole Census should’ve been done with Google Docs.
Oh no, it’s OK everyone. There’s a stream11 too, and it’s also failing. https://t.co/yDJSrPffoC
davispg The IBM Java Stream thing seems to be scaling well*
#census2016 #censusfail
@dobes I know how to fix things.
@darkhorse166 Very ouch.
@darkhorse166 Ouch!
Maybe the whole Census should’ve been done with Google Docs.
@dobes Imaging how good kebabs would be if we had a proper NBN.
Wait, is EVERYBODY connecting to stream10? https://t.co/Bb98KwUXhD
An hour and a half to go. #9pmlive https://t.co/CF4LX1B8zC
Putting my nuts in a bowl.
Ping @dobes. https://t.co/CclP7M3mPc
@JuliusFlywheel @laborcz @MarkPlackett1 @Asher_Wolf @Colvinius @securityaffairs Ditto.
Two hours to go. #9pmlive https://t.co/CF4LX1B8zC
infinitereality Ok I’ve been trying to get on your server for two hours I give up #CensusFail pic.twitter.com/tBiYBmRga9
Pollytics A guy being an expert on ABS security when last month he was all “blockchain for e-voting!”. Some children should be seen and not heard
RT @savedaeshgoats2: @stilgherrian @FionaPattenMLC Have you gone to check? I thought you said you knew? Mmmmm #censustroll #Govttroll 😂
RT @savedaeshgoats2: @stilgherrian @FionaPattenMLC I won’t be apologizing for not excepting Politicians trying to bully Sheeple into undemo…
I’m not going to be paying you much attention from here on in ’cos I need to focus on my pr#9pmlivelive
Coming up at 2100 AEST, “The 9pm Edict” Census Night Special LIVE. stilgherrian.com/edict/live5/ or on @spreaker #9pmlive pic.twitter.com/BMMafZ2ddB
Histreepix Priest tries to exorcise a possessed Fokker aircraft (r.), 1912. pic.twitter.com/URnLJ35xKm
@savedaeshgoats2 @FionaPattenMLC If I may be blunt, I can remember way longer than the time you seem to have put into bothering to find out.
It’s like one of those carnival tents where all the little ducks trundle past and you shoot them with an air rifle. https://t.co/C0rgN2lyfe
Picketer So @historyben, who in case of truth in advertising is actually a historian, is tweeting Trove history of census panics & you should go look
@FionaPattenMLC @savedaeshgoats2 Yes, Census workers have tried to cover homeless people for as long as I can remember.
zirkont that’s a bit personal isn’t it? pic.twitter.com/1k54iTpUft
msdwrites @stilgherrian @SamAntixMusic @ABSCensus
Lady: Oh, our data is totally secure.
Gentleman: Madam, I feel you have been woefully misinformed.
OMG! A power level of 30 nanoseconds, and that’s indoors? THIS IS WORSE THAN HAARP. https://t.co/lfDTb3cgPG
@Asher_Wolf @JuliusFlywheel @Colvinius By which I mean, that’s a good thing, given MobileIron’s architecture.
@Asher_Wolf @JuliusFlywheel @Colvinius So?
This podcast is less than four hours away. #9pmlive https://t.co/oWmyWNXzyk
@JuliusFlywheel @Colvinius @Asher_Wolf To scan the bar code, surely? To log which forms are collected, and which homes to return to.
Well played, @amworldtodaypm.
amworldtodaypm The ABS insists tonight’s census is “all going very well” despite some senators refusing to give personal details. pic.twitter.com/WCq2Kpct5y
OAICgov The transcript of Australian #Privacy Commissioner Timothy Pilgrim’s @RadioNational #Census interview is now live ab.co/2aIiba1
simonblackwell I’ve been to this service station. pic.twitter.com/YPqD8KxSCy
Well that didn’t take long. https://t.co/YGF9GgqXjp
RT @Pollytics: Bruce Ruxton didn’t die in 17 world wars to let a handful of wonks know that he doesn’t do his dishes https://t.co/sAYDDYbtHw
How many layers of approval did this @ABSCensus stock image go through without anyone questioning its narrative? pic.twitter.com/clwuPzo1rR
@elle_franks @DDsD You’re asking me? Well, I figure that with most such things it’s all talk and no action.
THANK YOU YES ALL THE NAME JOKES HAVE NOW BEEN DONE PLEASE STOP. #CensusFail #9pmlive
OK, OK, the immediate consensus is MOAR WHINE. Or perhaps “Anything with a nameâ#CensusFailF#9pmlivelive
Oh. That was quick. #9pmlive https://t.co/7xJu76VGAl
What’s an appropriate drink for whinging about the Census#CensusFaili#9pmliveve
RT @VS_: I have a contrary view: #CensusFail has raised the issue of gov’t overreach far better than expected. https://t.co/8pUiXrWbyE
hughstephens Surely it’s a bit premature to make this claim pic.twitter.com/VSgaPJWqZP
jojojakob look we don’t like to call it data mining, it’s more like data fracking
RT @AtomicMPC: This looks like the title card for the worst sitcom ever. https://t.co/GH5st70DL7
Timeless tweet. https://t.co/mpYKr4daBK
I say, #CensusFail doesn’t exactly score well in today’s Essential poessentialvision.com.au/the-census4pic.twitter.com/rueBZXBPGGBPGG
EmperorNorton I was told not to show my wiener on social media, so here is my kielbasa. pic.twitter.com/F7ZOgoukfq
@munin That’s terrible.
RT @AustinHunt: Accidental Censorship Of Olympic Divers Makes Them All Look Like Porn Stars https://t.co/haArsK1Uyd https://t.co/1IU7T4OlLI
I may even remember to hashtag my tweets #9pmlive but, you know, maybe not. Anyway, it’s in a little under six hours.
Actually, I don’t have any Modest Proposals yet. I’m just going to pour a drink and see what comes out of my mouth. Hopefully not my lunch.
Exactly this. I have a few Modest Proposals for what I can do with th… what they should do with this data. https://t.co/RQfQ7wEcOC
The podcast pre-production is also thisisfine because I’ve just been sleeping for four hours instead of preparing. This is fine#thisisfinene
RT @kels_316: <this is fine dot gif> https://t.co/KSnZaoF4hL
“The 9pm Edict†will be streamed live @spreakeraker andstilgherrian.comdWJ7 from 2100 AEST, no matter how shit I fe#9pmlivelive
Tonight in “The 9pm Edict†live I’ll go through the Census questions and tell you what Australia should do with your ans#9pmlivepmlive
@mattdasilva Yep.
End of nap time.
Nap time.
RT @LiamPomfret: Census field officers have legal right to enter homes. ABS appointed a convicted armed robber as one. #CensusFail https://…
RT @ianfarrington: “I’ve finished the poster.â€
“Are you sure the wording is okay?â€
“Sure. No one will misinterpret it.” https://t.co/bFIZCf 
RT @dobes: Never 5get https://t.co/4xHgEblUXC
RT @RNBreakfast: Iranian men are campaigning to make the hijab optional, not compulsory - by wearing them. https://t.co/r6SjukxN0K https://…
thegrugq_ebooks oh sure, but the lack of brown sauce is disconcerting
EconoGarry @stilgherrian I’m devastated that no one has started a campaign for everyone to give their name as Census McCensusface.
@jonoabroad @GreenJ I just tell the first-year journalism students they’re all going to be replaced by robots anyway.
The post has arrived and I now have my upgraded Census interface. #CensusFail pic.twitter.com/fLwlSzDqSX
@munin I am too busy laughing to research any further.
rwsteele67 Completed census online. Received error message. Can’t submit, can’t save, can’t contact help line. All data lost #censusfail
Normally I don’t hop onto the -fail hashtag bandwagons, bu#CensusFailil is such a train wreck that it’s impossible for me not to.
So, @AussieRock, have you emailed you@your.address yet? #CensusFail #headdesk https://t.co/A4TCZcP4Uo
@NewtonMark He was founding boss of the AFP High-Tech Crime Unit, is that what you’re thinking of?
RT @Steve_Dalby: If you want really bad security, just put a Govt agency onto it. #dataretention https://t.co/bwfJ2680bR
“Alastair MacGibbon [@macgibbon] out to fix Australia’s broken cybersecurity modelâ€, writes @achanthadavong https://t.co/HSJa0GWTZp
@franksting @Steve_Lockstep Yeah @rachel_dto tends to make sense.
RT @franksting: Maybe the ABS should talk with the DTO? https://t.co/CeKzIAM2sf
“The 9pm Edict†will be streamed live @spreakeraker andstilgherrian.comSoPb from 2100 AEST, no matter how shit I feel.
In tonight’s episode of “The 9pm Edict†I’ll go through the Census questions and tell you what Australia should do with your answers.
Tue plan: @abcgippsland re Census (done); urgent administrivia; nap; podcast pre-production; 2100 “The 9pm Edict†livestream; collapse.
@ericscheid Yes. They do.
RT @marcuskelson: what was I saying only hours ago?? https://t.co/Pjm15Gql4I
lucethoughts Impressively, Eddie Obeid is listed to appear in three different courtrooms on three different criminal and civil matters this morning.
@davpope Love your work.
OMFG it’s a Commodore PET! https://t.co/znO5fzjDAu https://t.co/ajtAsbp3kp
@trevorlong Yep yep.
@zackwhittaker @rhhackett Now I’m even more curious to see where this one goes.
@trevorlong Thanks, Trevor. Since then my views have shifted to this being a massive consultation and PR problem than anything else. I hope.
“Oracle’s Data Breach May Explain Spate of Retail Hacksâ€, writes @rhhackett https://t.co/BTPYydaZzb
“Yaniv Erlich shows how research participants can be identified from ‘anonymous’ DNA†https://t.co/FT31nuHDgb HT @Steve_Lockstep
@trevorlong Heh. I’ve certainly got concerns, but I think a lot of the problems are being overstated. YMMV.
RT @jonkudelka: Census Sensibility, today’s cartoon in the @australian https://t.co/N6vbzvpzzj https://t.co/WAx8zX7UUv
@trevorlong It’s a joke, Joyce.
This is why we can’t have nice things. https://t.co/nxoY9Di8Jx
@YouTellJokes They can open your bank statements and do the same.
@YouTellJokes “Secure†is never a yes/no thing.
@paulsbootique @abcgippsland I generally post my radio spots on my own website.
@YouTellJokes More from the Census and their more frequent surveys. The ABS website explains how it all works. I won’t tweet all that.
thegrugq_ebooks WhatsApp is not a winning strategy.
@_AmyGray_ @R_Chirgwin Ah, Amy, we could spend the entire day agreeing with each other! :)
RT @jonathonio: far out I can’t believe the ABS is going to doxx the entire country
@R_Chirgwin @_AmyGray_ The public now expects better answers than “We’re the government, she’ll be right.”
@R_Chirgwin @_AmyGray_ Indeed. My view is that ABS has failed to notice the public slowly learning about privacy and data breaches.
@_AmyGray_ @ABSCensus Listening to the messages @abcgippsland is getting, and watching tweets, there’s SO much confusion.
@_AmyGray_ @ABSCensus @abcgippsland I, too, shout at the Moon. ;)
@_AmyGray_ @abcgippsland Oh yes that too. A nation’s politics can flip fast. ABS legislation could be changed to open up data quick enough.
@_AmyGray_ @ABSCensus @abcgippsland We are very much on the same page here. Some of the more paranoid claims haven’t helped though IMO.
@YouTellJokes Well yes the whole point of the ABS is to create statistics. That’s not the same as sharing individual records.
@max_au @Steve_Lockstep @Asher_Wolf That’s right, and they only go to researchers who’ve signed for them, as it were. Obviously not perfect.
Ad like @_AmyGray_ I do think that @ABSCensus’ messaging has been terrible. Shoddy, even@abcgippslandnd
I agree with @_AmyGray_’s point that our rights here are about preventing abuse by our governments@abcgippslandnd
I’m being followed b@_AmyGray_y_ o@abcgippslandnd and she’s making a lot of sense. I recorded that bit too.
@roisin6 I’m generally avoiding talking about “needâ€.
This radio spot is coming up momentarily. https://t.co/ju25Mucw9R
@roisin6 “Targeted�
@YouTellJokes This is not an explanation of “whyâ€, and I don’t think there’s a “needâ€.
@YouTellJokes Part of my point is that “the government†isn’t a monolith. Data is still not shared out of ABS.
@davispg Then I wonder why we haven’t been hearing any.
Well this issue really does need to be investigated, yes. https://t.co/tYkMHYmWDN
Has anyone heard ANY example of good results from Census name mapping used in the media, apart from the Aboriginal life expectancy one?
@riskybusiness It’s not the worst I’ve done this week. And it’s only Tuesday.
RT @LordofWentworth: Right wing terrorist arrested. In completely unrelated news, LNP politician addresses “Reclaim Australia” rally http…
@riskybusiness Why did you steal a car?
I’m talking about the Census, privacy and security o@abcgippslandnd at 0910 AEST. Listening is aabc.net.au/gippslandN6 or on ABC apps.
“What you should and shouldn’t worry about when you complete today’s censusâ€, writes @troyhunt https://t.co/hqLz2d2Syi
“Watch out for that rabbit poo.†Sentences like that are the reason I listen@amworldtodaypmaypm.
@twiddlekins You would have to ask someone else about this.
“The 9pm Edict†will be streamed live @spreakeraker andstilgherrian.comdWJ7 from 2100 AEST, no matter how shit I feel.
In tonight’s episode of “The 9pm Edict†I’ll go through the Census questions and tell you what Australia should do with your answers.
Tue plan, draft: 0910 @abcgippsland re Census; urgent administrivia; nap; podcast pre-production; 2100 “The 9pm Edict†livestream; collapse.
brayshawjb Breaking: @ABSCensus reveals it will mine data from the #censusfail to find a better PR firm.
This is my second start to Tuesday, but the first wasn’t my idea. https://t.co/q6hr9RgNOy
Tuesday. Roll it up into a tight ball and throw it across the room. Tuesday.
What height are we dropping him from? https://t.co/1FNRTP51Cv
Anyway, this building caught fire the other day, so obviously it’s something it likes to do.
I was trying to sleep, but once more my slumbers have been disrupted by buildings catching fire.
Things just catch fire sometimes. Again. pic.twitter.com/H5C5JFpbeZ