Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

August 28th, 2017

We describe very drunk people as “rat-arsed”, but what does a rat’s arse actually look like?

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@smidgey It’s always a cyber thing. And now he’s going to give me even more grief. ;)

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Who else can I annoy tonight?

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@smidgey Er, yeah. He’s a significant person in the field I write about. We know each other.

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Has anyone else got a bridge I can burn? Or are you all brain dead after watching The Bad Television Program? You sad fucks.

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That’s probably enough for me tonight. You guys with The Van? Yeah, you know where I am. See you soon.

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Yeah, there’s a few real journalists out there, but most just want to keep paying down their mortgage, just like the rest of you drones.

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@macgibbon But yeah, journalism. Workers making widgets for media factories. The grand purpose fourth estate stuff is mostly bullshit.

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I should say hi to @macgibbon at this point, because we both know we both know the game we play, and I admire his skill.

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There’s something cool about the Prime Minister’s special advisor knowing you and trolling you individually, yeah? No, you’re just a puppet.

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Oh yeah. I recently wrote a thing about the government working on cyber words? Yeah I was in the room. We can all be flattered by this shit.

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When you see anyone write shit like that, know that they’re not a journalist, but a compliant stenographer loving their access to “power”.

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You can tell who’s on the drip. They’re the ones who write “Today the government will announce…” because they’re compliant little muppets.

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Still, I’m just another sad fuck playing the game, so I’m not saying which minister nor what the “exciting” announceable is. But it’s shit.

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It’s all fuckin’ make believe, and tomorrow’s make believe will be in Brisbane at 9am. It’s not all that exciting.

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Journalists who are “on the drip”, that’s the ones who haven’t shitted off the minister recently, will even have a copy of his speech.

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The deal here is that we know where the Minister will be, when, and what he’ll be doing. And we all pretend this is news.

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One last thing. News stories are manufactured objects. The widget makers get told stuff like this and we agree to p..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…r4

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Anyway, I’m back at @bunjaree and I’m not dead so I guess everything is OK. I’ll go away now. Bye.

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Not that I’ve been drinking. Obviously.

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Ah, village life. The taxi drivers lll know where you live, they know you been drinking, the help you with the shopping, and close the gate.

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@ArtsandCulture Sorry, that sounded harsh. Sorry for that. Understand your point, but personally I think it’s more complex than that.

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@ArtsandCulture Only if you ignore the evolution of language, and particularly taboo language, for the last 500 yea..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Mv

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Just quietly, some people are cunts.

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wintnation My nose is a little late to the party when it comes to other purchases we make in the office.

via wintnation (retweeted on 6:41 PM, Aug 28th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

OH: “I want to grab Caleb Bond, insert him into Sharri Markson, and use them as a club to beat Miranda Devine to death.”

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wintnation You might want to take the credit…there must be an old racist.

via wintnation (retweeted on 3:10 PM, Aug 28th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@KrazyKarl910 Dealing with Satan isn’t really my gig, mate.

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@KrazyKarl910 This is frightening. Jesus works better for that line than the Samaritan though.

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@KrazyKarl910 “To boldly go where no Samaritan has gone before…”

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@KrazyKarl910 I thought you’d like it. I’m trying to work up a joke around “Set psalms to stun!” but it’s not coming together.

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@KrazyKarl910 Your avatar is great. When it’s on a circle, you can’t see it’s a lectern. You appear as a fat man in a Star Trek uniform.

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crgentle @stilgherrian @PeterDutton_MP Section 44 and now this. One more strike and the constitution will have to go.

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Aus_AirForce Take a ringside seat as our E-7A Wedgetail completes an aerial refuel with a Royal Netherlands Air For..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Gk

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 2:16 PM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

If @PeterDutton_MP doesn’t know by now that agreeing with a statement put to him is the same as making it, he’s def..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Oe

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@KrazyKarl910 @PeterDutton_MP Can I have a go at the angels and pinhead one instead?

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Obviously I am insanely happy with this situation.

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To recap, AU is the only modern democracy with no bill of rights, and the minister for security shit finds the Cons..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Fg

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NuclearAnthro “Additional catastrophic, unprecedented, and life threatening” is a helluva phrase.

Welcome to the Middle Anthrop..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…J5

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@kcollasarundell @expectproblems Oh good. I haven’t actually played it, I was just watching @expectproblems via the tweeters.

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“You just can’t talk the same to everyone anymore,” apparently. Unless they’re in the same age band. You can talk t..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…of

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@PeterDutton_MP I’m going to savour that one for weeks. Frustrated by constitutional responsibilities.

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Dear @PeterDutton_MP, if you are “frustrated by constitutional responsibilities” maybe you’re in the wrong job…twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Pl

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NewtonMark “Frustrated by its constitutional responsibilities”: a hell of a euphemism for “unable to break laws with impunity” twitter.com/GlennFowlerAEU…

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OH, young boy in library, shouting at sister: “It’s a hedgehog, not a mouse!” Mansplaining starts young.

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workmanalice who wore it best pic.twitter.com/50QnqRXqdZ

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“Govt response to Medicare card data saga disappointing and messaging contemptible: Centre for Internet Safety” zdnet.com/article/govern…

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Data centre engineers have advised me that this is a sub-optimal condition. twitter.com/blueben/status…

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Approaching my afternoon workstation. pic.twitter.com/2fZx04rm4O

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@domknight @James_Jeffrey @vanOnselenP @leighsales And while Tony Abbott is sitting there like that, this is his da..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…5G

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domknight @James_Jeffrey @vanOnselenP @leighsales I can so see Tony Abbott doing exactly this - although perhaps holding a wh..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…dZ

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joeyalison I fixed giraffes. pic.twitter.com/QtavtoFRAt

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:02 PM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

IndigenousXLtd This is awesome!! Apparently it comes from a Bolta article? If so, thanks Andy! This one’s going straight to the po..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…QF

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:58 PM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Just quietly, Wolf Blass products have been banned from every house I’ve lived in since the mid-1980s.

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This is one of the most frightening things I have ever seen. twitter.com/whiteswine/sta…

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@JohnBirmingham True. Sigh. Anyway, a lovely little Monday yarn. Thank you.

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@JohnBirmingham I wonder whether it’s safe to tell @JohnBirmingham that the Book Fair is more or less in Hannover, and not Berlin?

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nehadk He’s not wrong twitter.com/lpolgreen/stat…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 12:16 PM, Aug 28th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@collettesnowden It has, but even they fail when it’s ice rather than water.

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Leura’s Stairway to Broken Ankles. pic.twitter.com/qKT69bwg0A

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@jeremysear @expectproblems Wait. So that was even before Kevin Andrews won Kevin 07?

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@jeremysear @expectproblems Don’t be silly. Who would ever dump Prime Minister Latham?

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Implementing the rest of the plan. Transport is en route. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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@expectproblems But you’re still coming in the time machine, right?

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@expectproblems Once I’m done inventing a time machine, I’m taking you back to punch card days. Then you’ll see wha..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…FE

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@MadScotty @purserj @R_Chirgwin So much more ‘Straya than any mere mouse or rat.

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@purserj @R_Chirgwin @MadScotty I’m pretty sure it’s a female scouting out a nesting spot. I haven’t heard any of t..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Bi

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@R_Chirgwin @MadScotty An antechinus is more or less a mini-quoll. Bold little carnivores.

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Surely none of these things could ever be possible? twitter.com/GreenJ/status/…

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@MadScotty @R_Chirgwin No, it’s an antechinus. The antechinus is our friend. Mostly.

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@joneaves @locriani Oh that’s a cute one. Another one is when John Smith, John J Smith, John James Smith, JJ Smith..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…bE

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Well, self-important anyway. Call me when they’ve turned a profit. twitter.com/NicoleWill100/…

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Mon plan: LPG; thaw (both done); banking, Leura (soon); work from Katoomba library on administrivia, logistics; shopping. Meals ad lib.

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PiercedSkull BREAKING: Trump family arrives in Houston, to ‘survey the damage’. pic.twitter.com/M9bexteamP

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:19 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

TheTweetOfGod Wait till you see how he fucks this up.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:15 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

glengyron When Turnbull at the Snowy Hydro site gets asked about the Stan Grant controversy we bite into the capsules and end the simulation.

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 10:14 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@franksting CBS owns the videos I’ve made with @zdnetaustralia. ZDNet is part of CBS Interactive (CBSi). So yeah, them 24/7 to start with.

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@smperris Yep, that’s it. There’s plenty of them in your patch. @ApostrophePong and I photographed them in the Homebush Bay wetlands.

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wintnation We, the people, are the ultimate sovereigns and I appreciate Senator Hanson stepping in to fight for what is fair and just.

via wintnation (retweeted on 10:07 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@Steve_Lockstep We were talking about them yesterday. Lots of golden orb weaver stories out there.

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I think I’ve seen this movie and it doesn’t end well. twitter.com/BreakfastNews/…

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“[Australian] Ten Network to be purchased by US giant CBS” abc.net.au/news/2017-08-2…

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@Steve_Lockstep This is also true. Though I really like the golden orb spiders. At least when they’re not catching and eating whole birds.

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AliceAvizandum tfw as a species you’re worse at collective protection than ants twitter.com/omarvillafranc…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:58 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Bin chickens will at anything. Shellfish. Left-over food. Vegetables. Scrap metal. The Sun. twitter.com/Steve_Lockstep…

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@evcricket @R_Chirgwin Yeah the buggers are agile like that. Hmmm. Maybe we should replace Malcolm Turnbull with an antechinus.

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@R_Chirgwin If only one could persuade an antechinus to appear on cue. Unless we have a trap?

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Pro Tip: Metal objects left out overnight in sub-zero temperatures are cold. Wear gloves.

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Thank you for observing all* safety precautions.

* a fair number of the pic.twitter.com/yeaqERXeos

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You can make a lot of hilarity with 65kg of LPG spraying out.

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Actually last night I dreamt I dropped one of these, and it hit a rock, and a seam cracked. Hilarity ensued.

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Caution, caution, caution. Always with the nanny nanny cautions. pic.twitter.com/rIo5WBIHga

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Mon plan, supplemental: This is basically all the stuff I would’ve done across the weekend if I’d had better knowledge and better luck.

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@R_Chirgwin Hmmm. That last antechinus sitrep was tweeted half an hour ago but only just appeared. No idea where th..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…jj

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Mon plan, draft: LPG; thaw; banking, Leura; work from Katoomba library on administrivia, logistics, maybe more; shopping; that’s a full day.

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@R_Chirgwin The antechinus then trotted across the floor towards me, and is now scrabbling around under the bed.

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Airminded Take that you stupid blimp airminded.org/2007/05/06/air… twitter.com/historylvrsclu…

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wintnation mate I have made it to the final plane of consciousness .nerds will get extremely yelled at

via wintnation (retweeted on 9:11 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

petstarr Who wore it better? pic.twitter.com/2bZf8zJ8VR

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:09 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

mongrel43 Monday is trying to embrace me ….. but I’m on to it ….. pic.twitter.com/8zgWK3H9lW

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:08 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@NewtonMark @mackaysuzie Another of my wry comments, this time about corporatespeak, falls flat. I might start toda..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…ET

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Well I suppose it’s good to focus on one of the most serious natural disasters America has faced in recent years. twitter.com/RealPressSecBo…

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@Airstrip_0ne @R_Chirgwin It’ll have to be a big party. This building is only 95% finished, and none of the gaps ‘t..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…KU

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@smperris Unlikely to have been a heron, but have a play over here and see what you can turn up. birdsinbackyards.net/finder

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@TheMoa_ @BXGD I wasn’t questioning the figure, sorry, just making a wry (but fell flat) comment about the danger of US police forces.

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@dfpiii @R_Chirgwin Indeed. I’m surprised I haven’t seen one earlier, ‘cos we’re right in the mating season. Bold c..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…p7

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@jpwarren So what happens when you press it?

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ginarush good morno pic.twitter.com/sY27SPXpEV

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:47 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@R_Chirgwin The thing about living in a forest is that you’re constantly harassed by trollfauna.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@paulwallbank @benkepes @jpwarren I’ll read this thread once I get a couple tasks done, though I suspect you’re all..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…d4

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@R_Chirgwin For those of you unfamiliar with the antechinus, here’s one I prepared earlier. pic.twitter.com/42zrsf06Gh

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@R_Chirgwin … then about two minutes later emerges from the gap in the ceiling, diametrically oppositepic.twitter.com/TIL23qhZvhvh

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Hey @R_Chirgwin, I am being trolled by a very fat and healthy antechinus! It poked its head out of this gap by the..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Go

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AlexHJ25 Southern Cassowary - what a bird! Connected with three including this fantastic adult female up on Mt Hypipamee tod..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…IA

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:28 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

Marilyn_Res RT @wildambience Echidnas are surprisingly good climbers. This little guy crawled about 1m high to gorge on termite..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…AI

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 8:27 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

carolprobets A flock of 15 Flame Robins was my heart-warming highlight this week. Lithgow NSW. Male (L), female (R). ..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…kF

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:26 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@paulkidd @BuggeryAcres I will now draw it to @R_Chirgwin’s attention so he gets Nerd Envy.

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@BXGD One would hope, yes. “Associated” is such a handy word, especially when dealing with statistics.

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@paulkidd @BuggeryAcres But you have your own weatherometer-o-scope!

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Or roughly 10x fewer than those by American police forces. Or if you prefer it expressed this way, one-tenth as man..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…cQ

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@gpdawson It’s been very humid, though, so maybe take the humidity up to 120% to be on the safe side.

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@gpdawson Yep. Here’s the Mount Boyce data for 26/8. Generally the humidity didn’t go above 100%. pic.twitter.com/jOTUOCg2zd

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TheOnion Nation Begs Disaffected Youth Gravitating Toward Neo-Nazism To Get High And Play Xbox Instead..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Md

via SocialFlow (retweeted on 8:07 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

wintnation I have heard some speeches here tonight and I cannot believe this website is driving people insane

via wintnation (retweeted on 8:04 AM, Aug 28th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

Monday. Scrape off the paint and you’ll see that it’s a cheap imitation. Monday.

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