
stilgherrian Having imprisoned half the Canberra press gallery on a bus, Scott Morrison initiates his master plan. pic.twitter.com/f6wh8su2sX
Having an early night because I have an early start tomorrow. Gorn.
wildambience A strange night sound from Cape York’s rainforests - the call of the Marbled Frogmouth. One source describes it nic..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bu
It just occurred to me that people who aren’t following, in this instance, Australian politics very, very closely m..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xl
@phonakins That too.
Fuck yeah. twitter.com/djackmanson/st…
I like the phrase “grisly wank”. twitter.com/MikeCarlton01/…
PPantsdown Rod Roberts has been unexpectedly elected to the NSW Upper House for One Nation.
What type of scandal will bring him undone?
Not sure that the “But” is needed here. twitter.com/thewireradio/s…
Or indeed this. twitter.com/oliyoung/statu…
Or not a photo?
Look who hasn’t rubbed their arse against a photo of their opponent’s face?
New @JonathanPieNews: “Trump’s Planet” youtube.com/watch?v=svP4iZ…
“China warns Australia at WTO about 5G restriction” reuters.com/article/us-hua…

mbrennanchina Chinese smartphones with built-in projectors. We’ve found another way to kill ourselves pic.twitter.com/3iqwRYwJBd
@reselsnark @kcarruthers Sounds good to me.
@kcarruthers Yes. I’d like to go to Korea, with or without alpacas.
reselsnark I see the view from nowhere journalists want to both defend being on the bus and complain about the fact that they..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2U
@markhumphries I think I know the one, but hey the verb “do” is… ambiguous?
LostArcNZ Based on this Tweet alone, the colloquial name for a New Zealander should be a Kererū not a Kiwi. twitter.com/41Strange/stat…
@roseannebyrne @michaelkoziol Politics is all about compromise. :)
@developerjack @NickyWill100 It’s always been there, just much further below the surface. And, we we said, Day 5.

Amys_Kapers Is it just me, or is @onedrive being a bit creepy? pic.twitter.com/zQ602AfnUy
michaelkoziol David Leyonhjelm told me on March 28 he was certain he was elected to the NSW upper house (it was the same day he t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bx
stejormur The police are still clinging onto the theory that the Gatwick drone was real, because so many airport professional..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…kx

joshgnosis I mean, he’s not wrong. 7news.com.au/news/nsw/victo… pic.twitter.com/hayVmDzi0F
@aggerchez Someone needs to get out more.
@chriswinter My pleasure, Chris. :)
Story filed for @zdnetaustralia. It contains bots and stuff, but you can’t see it until tomorrow.
@johnthelutheran @juhasaarinen We could go on all day, but I’m on deadline again now. :)
@JustJimWillDo @ScottRhodie @juhasaarinen @_midofo_ Not interchangeable, though.
@JustJimWillDo @juhasaarinen @_midofo_ I didn’t, but what significance does that have?

@juhasaarinen Eels or not, they’re very sexy machines. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_726_…
Attn: @JustJimWillDo @_midofo_ pic.twitter.com/mmYJHqXQ0L
juhasaarinen Yes yes but is it full of eels? twitter.com/PDChina/status…
@AnnabelleU123 @roisin6 Hah! That’s right, it was a Northern Territory of South Australia. That structure lasted a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zk
GreenJ I have a theory that it’s Caleb in the @CaptGetUp suit. yes. #youknowitmakessense twitter.com/TheCalebBond/s…

burgotastic I refuse to believe that there is a verb form of kudos, much less that it would be kudo if there were one pic.twitter.com/INGqjpBitq
@nukolator Can’t talk now. Phone call.
@oberonsghost Um, in a real fire you’d get no notice.
@scott_thewspot @Licantrop0 @ip1 @internetofshit It never hurts to have some redundancy. Especially on the internet.
DemSausage We have our first overseas stall for this election, thanks to @AusAmb_DE - the Australian Embassy in Berlin has sau..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…U5
@scott_thewspot @Licantrop0 @ip1 Oh FFS. Attn: @internetofshit.
@developerjack That’s true. There’s even a chance you might encounter some ducks.

mootpointer When someone accidentally leaves editorial comments in their markdown and they don’t get parsed out: pic.twitter.com/TU2p74t9HW
@roisin6 All of them.

Having imprisoned half the Canberra press gallery on a bus, Scott Morrison initiates his master plan. pic.twitter.com/f6wh8su2sX
@ssharwood I was curious myself. Face Bacon is such an excellent name.
Mon plan, update: I’m continuing to write two pieces for @zdnetaustralia, but I’m losing focus a bit and will file..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Qp

JenAshleyWright I know it’s controversial, but I think Conservatives should be allowed to get married. pic.twitter.com/Xv6YsxP0MV
I think we need more cults of personality. They’d fix most controversial problems.

@jpwarren Gotcha. pic.twitter.com/Y0HYbdqeXE
“Russia’s Military Mission Creep Advances to a New Front: Africa” (31 Mar) nytimes.com/2019/03/31/wor…
lenoretaylor 👏👏 WE’RE HIRING @GuardianAus 👏👏
An investigations editor
senior business reporter
environment editor
senior rep..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2S

frogworth Jesus Christ pic.twitter.com/K9UPb51uPF
Oh dear. Attn: @PeteLawler. twitter.com/nswpolice/stat…
@CptHollingworth @expectproblems It’s really only one step up from sodomising a waterhen.
@ssharwood Apparently it’s this stuff. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanciale
Extending the Zone of Ignorance is kinda my business model. twitter.com/jpwarren/statu…
@jpwarren So, you can either go for more awareness, or more pain, but not both?
AnnabelleU123 I had no idea the Premier of the Northern Territory wanted to establish a colony of 40,000 Russians near Darwin in..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0p
And then everyone just emails each other anyway.
As far as I can tell the aim of collaboration software is to make collaboration as annoying and productivity-sappin..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…IE
@juhasaarinen This is not the future I asked for.
@jpwarren Can you move diagonally? Also, the word “quadrille” just came to mind.

How could we forget? #horsefucker pic.twitter.com/5NWt1kcSpT
@maldamkar @The_Elcat Turns out there’s this thing where you can look up facts and things. “The costumes and sets w..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…bs
ConversationEDU When should you get the #flu shot?
Short answer: mid to late May, or early June.
Long answer: there are number of..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Rq
benpobjie I’ve gotta say, GoT makes incest look pretty great
Wow. @jpwarren will love this innovation. twitter.com/scott_thewspot…
mikewsc1 Please, not BoM. This is the kind of thing you expect from the police. twitter.com/bom_au/status/…
@JustJimWillDo Indeed. US policy is a bit of a mess right now.
“Russia attempting to regain influence in Africa as a way to attack NATO from the south” (11 Apr) warisboring.com/russia-attempt…
“[US] Navy will allow off-duty sailors to ‘live socially’ according to their preferred gender, but not do so on dut..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Hq

@jpwarren @jeamland Or even better! pic.twitter.com/wY21onqFFC

@jpwarren @jeamland Oh mate! pic.twitter.com/wwULn26cG5
@jpwarren @jeamland Just Field of Fail sounds better. The football would be implied very subtly by using stock art..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…l8
@jpwarren @jeamland The Ping Pong Pain Paradigm. Or maybe some outdoor sport that suits, then it could be the Field of Pain.
“Things just catch fire sometimes.” twitter.com/adamlcarey/sta…
@jpwarren Wow you must really hate the world.
@bigbadave @NewtonMark For all of the Human Headline’s quirks, at least he understood the consequences when he acte..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…6m
NewtonMark “Well, I told you not to report on it, and you went and reported on it. And now you’re here in front of me. That’s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…oX
SezClom It’s turtles all the way down twitter.com/41strange/stat…
… is that it kinda matches a government slogan from Terry Gilliam’s masterpiece film “Brazil”.
Suspicion Breeds..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…kJ
The great thing about this kinda-slogan from Eugene Kaspersky… twitter.com/georgepnott/st…
kels_316 imagine being a grown adult and just waiting diligently on the bus and not taking a single bit of initiative twitter.com/annelisenews/s…
@pagedaemon Not especially soon. I don’t have $1995.
jonkudelka Not Phoney Since 2010. twitter.com/benjaminmillar…

coolcam101 @realDonaldTrump This Trump impression is hilarious 😂 pic.twitter.com/7u38Livivh
@franksting With any luck.
vikram_nz New IoT device idea- zap people for their own good twitter.com/techreview/sta…

Mr Leyonhjelm just five hours ago. pic.twitter.com/IVBK4NC3v8
@mattjhatton @dobes @johnb78 It’s still there.
@dobes @johnb78 @mattjhatton Yeah he was a bit previous there. Arsehat.
@dobes Heartbreaking. twitter.com/benraue/status…
@carimachet It’s a talent.
@mattjhatton @dobes I think you’re right. In which case he’ll have to be elected back in. Fun.
@dobes Report 2 of 2. And I was so very much looking forward to the Return of Malcolm Roberts to the Senate. twitter.com/lynlinking/sta…
@dobes Report 1 of 2. twitter.com/LisaVisentin/s…
This was looking pretty obvious a few days ago, but I reckon Senator Scarf Boy will resign and Leyonhjelm will get..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ws
Everything gets better today. I am in awe. twitter.com/benraue/status…
@sspencer_63 @GreenJ To be fair, keeping your brand in the news for as long as possible is a KPI for marketers.
sspencer_63 Can I just congratulate the failed ad man for now making this story run for 4 consecutive days, with no end in sigh..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Jq
This Advance Australia mob is totally worth every penny. Inspiring. twitter.com/Jo_Tovey/statu…
techAU Need to speed this up. Not sure @redbull is the answer. twitter.com/Bindibadgi/sta…
This story is from a year ago, sorry. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@juhasaarinen @dobes @rohan_p Oh well that’s @R_Chirgwin’s fault then, always sending out old stories as if they’re breaking news.
@DavidParis What have you got against vampire squids?
“How Victoria Police handled the Bourke Street incident on social media” by @ashabeeeee techrepublic.com/article/how-vi…
@trentyarwood @R_Chirgwin I AM ON YOUR SIDE HERE.

Hahaha! A domain speculator wants to sell wakeuptogether.com for USD 1995. pic.twitter.com/CvKB8Oy4xa
@jeamland @developerjack Is he an end-to-end expert?
@trentyarwood I’m just retweeting what @R_Chirgwin tweeted. It’s an interesting story.
This will definitely cheer you up, @dobes @rohan_p @juhasaarinen.
“Goldman Sachs asks in biotech research report: ‘Is curing patients a sustainable business model?’”..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sx
I keep reading wakeuptogetup.com as wakeuptogether.com, and it makes everything slightly better.
@jonkudelka That is a truly beautiful image.
jonkudelka *Hideous skittering of claws and slithering of tentacles as the NSW legislative council takes shape*
trentyarwood Just when you thought Cpt GetDown couldn’t get any dumber, their script is retweeting tweets which point out they d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…rw
liamvhogan The Minister for Small Business (shops) and the Legislative Councillor for the SDA (shoppies) twitter.com/benraue/status…
@expectproblems Ideally, yes. Anyway, @benraue is tweeting the results as the preferences get distributed, so there..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…T2
GrogsGamut Two questions:
1) They think the USA style will work here?
2) They actually think more than 5 people in Australia..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…qr
@expectproblems Also, as you can see, the first Shooters Fishers & Farmers candidate on the ticket. More results shortly.
So yeah Mark Latham will be a NSW MLC. (We knew that already, but now we know it even more.) twitter.com/benraue/status…
jpwarren This is a warcrime. twitter.com/GrogsGamut/sta…
Hahahaha well spotted! :) twitter.com/Mig_Considine/…

How the hell does she expect to type with those nails? pic.twitter.com/TgdkTFqkuB
Very handy for things like this, when a ministerial websites will be totally rebuilt is the government changes. Fin..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wq
Hey kids, did you know you can help make the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine more useful by archiving pages that..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9v
OK, writing now.
@roisin6 @glengyron No YESTERDAY was Anzac Sunday. twitter.com/TonyAbbottMHR/…
As usual there’s more stuff in the Weekly Wrap — which I’ve just updated because I got it totally wrong about my pl.twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2KQ
Mon plan, confirmed: Write for @zdnetaustralia, twice; a little administrivia in between; meals ad libitum. A solid..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…li
@jonoabroad @Arash_Mohebbi @NewtonMark Probably.
Here’s a thread about That Organisation and That Man which you may find interesting, @dobes. twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurit…
@theharryshearer This also I did not know. I am clearly behind the pace when it comes to chemical conglomerates. twitter.com/aggerchez/stat…
techAU Waits for every node box to recieve 4 concrete, steel re-inforced bollards.. Because drivers are terrible. #NBN twitter.com/BellTowerTimez…
@je_au That and forcing people to use the (big?) retailers who take the cards.
Oh. 810s. I thought they said A-10s. So I was very confused there for a while there. twitter.com/marasawr/statu…
I’d missed the fact that Monsanto is now owned by Beyer. Thanks for the facts, @theharryshearer’s “Le Show”. pca.st/1ORc
RepAdamSchiff There’s an old saying.
When the law is on your side, pound the law.
When the facts are on your side, pound the fa..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…qZ
benraue You’re kidding yourself if you think we’re at the end of the section 44 saga. twitter.com/thetallyroom/s…
glengyron Australian politicians all become suddenly more progressive out of parliament.
Tone will lose his seat and join t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zn
@kels_316 @glengyron @NewtonMark As I mentioned the other day… twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Also bear in mind that “claims Paul Fletcher MP” is always a great big red flag.
@jdub @glengyron @NewtonMark I’m open-minded. It doesn’t have to be coconut shells.
Bear in mind that a “real difference” doesn’t mean it’s improving anything, especially not for the lives of the vic..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…iZ
quaedvliegs But has been secretly following horse racing all his life… twitter.com/samanthamaiden…
@kels_316 @glengyron @NewtonMark For example, apparently you can’t change your registered phone number for SMS aler..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1M
@kels_316 @glengyron @NewtonMark You have to create one. It’s meant to be a single sign-on for all the government s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3K
jpwarren So so many. twitter.com/waynesadin/sta…
@Sulphurcocky1 @NewtonMark I’ll let Mark explain why that won’t work. :) Though I reckon the fluffy dice should be compulsory.
@glengyron I don’t have a myGov account. And I am not a SovCit, mostly. @NewtonMark doesn’t have one either.

JohnJohnsonson “Privately on Instagram” 🤔 pic.twitter.com/q5Z8n5nyHV
@simonhackett One of the things they’re looking at is how “Coal-fired power stations ‘disrupt rainfall patterns’” (..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…NO
“Philanthropic organisation Hackett Foundation has donated $100,000 to Airborne Research Australia, a not-for-profi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sN
@Arash_Mohebbi @NewtonMark Oops that was meant to be at @jonoabroad for this tweet, but yeah you’ll do. twitter.com/jonoabroad/sta…
@Arash_Mohebbi @NewtonMark WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
@jpwarren @jeamland @CARROT_app Dark Sky had another interesting variation, plus it’s matched with an excellent..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Vn
@jonoabroad This gets very complicated when you look into the chap’s intentions, apparently. I’ve tried to mute tha..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…yu
@jpwarren @jeamland @CARROT_app Switching from BoM / Willy Weather source data to Weather Channel seems to clean up..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ou
@jpwarren @jeamland @CARROT_app Quite probably but there’s still a huge lack of fog here this morning.
jeamland Very @SnarkyPlatypus content. twitter.com/weimingkam/sta…
To be fair, they totally nailed American cuisine. twitter.com/substitute/sta…
@Arash_Mohebbi @NewtonMark Indeed. And I checked the etymology of “grasp the wrong end of the stick” the other day…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…nl
TStew777 whole train carriage just chanting “Winx” this morning, very moving😭
@jeamland @CARROT_app I probably should have wiped the greasy smear off the camera lenses before taking that photo.

@jeamland @CARROT_app Or, you know, the weather. pic.twitter.com/Es3VOq0Wn4
@jeamland @CARROT_app My counter reset when I changed phones. Sad panda.
jonkudelka I awake to discover leftist cartoonists hate orchestra lifts. Sigh.
@gordonkerry And like so many child actors, “by 1973, aged 21, [Jack Wild] was an alcoholic and diabetic … exhaus..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…au
@jetztgibtshaue @dobes A PRE-HUFFED KITTEN BRING IT TO ME.
@NewtonMark Agreed. That one missed the point quite spectacularly.
“H.R. Pufnstuf” (1969) youtube.com/watch?v=orUNj0…
H.R. Pufnstuf
Who’s your friend when things get rough?
H.R. Pufnstu..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…bO
R_Chirgwin “The end came when all of Twitter was cassowaries or Asssange”, good god what a way to start the day.
@techoglot You’ll get a signal when I decide.
@jetztgibtshaue Works better with kittens, as @dobes will attest.
MalwareJake I believe the words you’re looking for are “wilful ignorance” twitter.com/davidu/status/…
These are indeed the canonical #blueandyellowtrain. Maybe I need to differentiate the five types. twitter.com/erkpod/status/…
… which Morrison opens by speaking Vietnamese. twitter.com/primroseriorda…
Today is Election Day E minus 33.
Don’t forget, today is only Day Five. Or if you prefer, E minus 33.
To save you having to do the arithmetic yourself..twitter.com/Davelennonabc/…6v
I see they’re still scoffing the drugs at Sunrise. twitter.com/sunriseon7/sta…
@zdnetaustralia As usual for a Monday, further alleged plans may be found in the Weekly Wrap. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Mon plan, draft: Write once for @zdnetaustralia, possibly twice, depending on the Editorial Nod (not a heroin refer..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…il
nils_gilman How about Steve Jobs? Is Tiger Woods’ redemption narrative the greatest since Steve Jobs coming back to Apple? twitter.com/nils_gilman/st…
glengyron Happy ANZAC Monday everyone.
@NuclearAnthro It takes a while to move 8km, so I wouldn’t be waiting for all 25 blasts of the siren.
Gawd, the replies to this tweet about the cassowary! It’s been going for nearly 24 hours. twitter.com/AncientSpoonbi…
Monday. Plant flowers. Do not animal flowers. Monday.