76% now. Thank you. You’ve made a turtle very happy, and vice versa.
jeamland OH: Schadenfreudenberg
Mind you, that lamb photo is so wretchedly contrived. Did you know that lambs can’t actually weave flowers into a w..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…VP
And to prove my point, here is a baby lamb with some flowers, and also a turtle. pic.twitter.com/gTmydVhdcc
As I type this tweet, we’re 75% of the way to Target Two with four days remaining. I therefore request, nay, implor..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…kd
Before then, the Autumn Series wraps up this month with:
The 9pm Election Unhinging: The Aftermath on Thu 26 May…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4a
So far the pencilled-in guests include chronicler of doom @umairh, Scottish writer and gentleman @dfpiii, and slim..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…JA
FINAL DAYS: “The 9pm Winter Series 2022” crowdfunder ends this Thu 26 May at 9pm AEST. If you’d like more special-g..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…nQ
snurb_dot_info Hmm, I think I’ve seen this movie before. 🧐 pic.twitter.com/FtfQRxABc5
I’ll be recording and posting “The 9pm Election Unhinging: The Aftermath” this Thursday.
I also made a podcast which is now largely obsolete. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
One of the week’s highlights, apart from the whole election thing, was inventing a new way to waste everyone’s time..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…45
NEW BLOG POST: “Weekly Wrap 625: A change of scenery, a change of government” stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/62… Covers 16–22twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ifaE
AnarchyCoo BAEH! THE SYSTEM IS BURNING. LET’S FAN THE FLAMES! pic.twitter.com/audhtDyAcr
candeira Frydenberg should move to Dickson, run there as an independent, beat Dutton to the seat, then ask to rejoin the Lib..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…IS
Potential essay title: “The Insufferable Smugness of the Drip-Broekens”.
rhysam I’ve never seen a cry wank live on tv.
Bye bye. pic.twitter.com/fpLVD960uA
Doctor__Anita When I told Frydenberg the people of Kooyong were angry, that they felt neglected and betrayed, he told me I was wr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Dm
benraue Take a look at that! pic.twitter.com/f87AJ9iRcY
slvppy i can understand why chickens wake up and scream
amysw_sec This was wild 😝 pic.twitter.com/ssdQv3y6gf
patstokes @zerogeewhiz [Diary of Joseph Banks, 19/4/1770] “The countrey this morn rose in gentle sloping hills which had the..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…MD
@Lawson_Lyon You’re welcome.
rmmckenny 8yo: I have some advice.
Me: oh yeah?
8: Don’t waste your diamonds on a hoe.
Me:
Me: what do you mean?
8: well yo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…DG
AnthonyGreen420 Meet Sam Lim. He has won the seat of Tangney for the Labor. He is a former dolphin trainer & speaks 10 different la..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…TD
SwiftOnSecurity 2% Milk: $2.70
Whole milk: $3.00
Buy a gallon of whole milk, pour 49 gallons of water in.
Return 50 gallons of 2% Milk:
Profit $132.00
cathywilcox1 Cartoonists of Australia will be engaging in a lot of soul-searching today. Please be understanding in our time of loss.
discoball2000 Bolt is taking it well. pic.twitter.com/m2h0xDr5pD
Enjoying the number of sentences being published which contain “Anthony Albanese” and “edging”.
@johnb78 @HappySinger @stufromoz Clean glands are always the best.
the_meghaning “YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE SAYS MALE!” calm your tits, Carol, it also says seven fuckin pounds and a lot has changed since then
NickBryantNY Having a Sydney harbour shoreline, from the Opera House to the ocean, without a single conservative seat is like im..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…pj
NewtonMark Very funny that Abbott helped Deves drive his own seat further out of Liberals’ hands. It used to be safe Liberal,..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…bb
thomas_violence my personal feeling is that in Brisbane the Greens managed to reach a lot of people who don’t like oscillating betw..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ew
@jeamland Could be. Could be a barrel.
@DrParnassus Yes, quite the whimsical nod to a balanced diet.
Oink oink, Baby! pic.twitter.com/WXfdegSRM0
juliahbanks That comment says absolutely everything you need to know about the Jane Hume
👇 twitter.com/lisa_wilkinson…
keen_poster Dave Sharma was the perfect candidate for women. He gave them free flowers at the train station for god’s sake..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ie
GrogsGamut Someone hand Peta a mirror twitter.com/dailytelegraph…
Also seen in Randwick. pic.twitter.com/3FLv9Oln0F
austsyndrome I give you my father, one nation voter, rubbing it in to me, greens voter. Oh how will I cope. pic.twitter.com/qUfTQrnWGu
ToshGreenslade This picture is going straight to the spank bank.
#AusVotes22 pic.twitter.com/nFINQd9PgR
LexPlans Hopefully someone in the Government will still have a hotline to Jen
I must say, scripting for this week’s podcast “The 9pm Election Unhinging: The Aftermath” is going to be so easy. T..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2l
@EnoTheWonderdog I’ll just put that extremely valuable opinion over here for safe-keeping. pic.twitter.com/He1Cq3ZLdU
@JonoInAotearoa On the line.
goldengateblond hello and welcome to “Snack or Porn Title,” I’m your host pic.twitter.com/D4tXw7tE6m
bookshopaddict A 4.7% swing against her means that Deves is more of a windbag than a storm. twitter.com/NedBalmeLives/…
@_ClaireConnelly No worries. I was reading about him last night and recognised his face. Will watch out for the video.
Can I just say that too many random strangers are wanting to tell me their opinions today. Thing is, I already have..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eZ
@_ClaireConnelly That is Sam Lim. samlim.com.au Dunno about the clip.
@bunzinator @NuclearAnthro We are not sure, no. :)
patstokes This trope really annoys me. The Coalition has only won from opposition *3* times since WWII:
- 1949 Menzies defe..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…fe
nlentern1 Who could possibly win Griffith back for Labor next time… pic.twitter.com/yyAU8M15XM
SaulEslake Today is, as I noted earlier this week, the 80th anniversary of Robert Menzies’ “Forgotten People” radio broadcast,..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…X2
_BertHandsome Kristina Keneally will now
@SuperCroup @_BertHandsome The larval prime minister?
@NuclearAnthro To be fair, an “earth-shattering gravity bomb” sounds very Buck Rogers.
emeraldxmoon Who are the abc and what do they do? pic.twitter.com/R1bftd1wqn
@SnoofAU I’d be willing to pay up to $3.
nadinevoncohen FUCK YEAH MAYBE TIM WILSON CAN USE HIS SUPER TO BUY HIMSELF A BOX OF TISSUES
Nom nom nom! twitter.com/HappySinger/st…
@HappySinger Oh that is truly beautiful, thank you. I like how they have their hygiene rating on the home page too. Reassuring.
ElizaEdNews Tears from the former PM as he addresses his church this morning. “I’m very pleased the last thing I say as a Prime..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…W8
@GreenJ Don’t question the narrative, Jonathan. pic.twitter.com/hKnfWO730E
Rob_Stott Have a sook pic.twitter.com/ylQqezxNDt
cosmicjester When mum says no xbox before dinner pic.twitter.com/OEDnALXrYZ
kapildwasnik So I ordered a cake from a renowned bakery in Nagpur, through #Swiggy. In the order details I mentioned “Please men..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1R
Dimi SCOOP・US, Japan, Australia & India will launch satellite-based maritime initiative to combat #Chinese..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…li
colestia3 SCOTTY GOES TO CENTRELINK
(free browser game, 10-20 minutes)
A surreal horror adventure starring Australia’s 30th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…yY
O U C H ! twitter.com/Craftymay/stat…
I might try this in, say, software development. “Well it works as far as we’re concerned.” Or filing stories to..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ry
JoshBBornstein rohan has declared victory 😀 pic.twitter.com/vFGFLAhkPo
MartySilkHack Thinking about Him … pic.twitter.com/FpQ0QlSpHf
Senator Malcolm Roberts as parliamentary party leader. I am up for this. twitter.com/sloaniealex/st…
patrickkeneally Ah yes, of course, there is no problem that can’t be fixed by going even further to the right pic.twitter.com/TSyw6zSxEl
@JonoInAotearoa @WarWraith No it doesn’t.
@JonoInAotearoa @WarWraith But here we go. Official. twitter.com/AusElectoralCo…
AusElectoralCom A big Sunday thank you to all the polling officials on deck yesterday helping to deliver democracy in a pandemic!..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wt
@JonoInAotearoa @WarWraith That was a bad “joke” and you should be ashamed.
@WarWraith @JonoInAotearoa Normally they don’t restart until Monday, but this year AEC is doing a sample of postal votes today.
jpwarren Happy FOI Documents No Longer Held Day to all who celebrate.
You know, I do tell you not to watch The Bad (Sunday) Program and yet here you all are, complaining about the resul..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Au
@jpwarren I have yet to look into the abyss of despair that I know must be out there.
@unixbigot Oh dear.
Wow first the election result and now this! twitter.com/SteveMolk/stat…
Sun plan: Breakfast; an enormous amount of sloth; Sunday Lunch; more sloth; ponder the week ahead; Weekly Wrap. Yes, I planned it this way.
It’s a delightful day in Sydney today. Also, the weather is nice. pic.twitter.com/XsH4SgyKwK
Sunday. That is all. Just, Sunday. pic.twitter.com/r7lLFh08wu
Who is the audience for this, exactly? L O L . twitter.com/TheSun/status/…
ToshGreenslade This picture is going straight to the spank bank.
#AusVotes22 pic.twitter.com/nFINQd9PgR
NewtonMark One of the things that’s coming through in these election results is the way that so many “protected species” have..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0A
@NewtonMark Exactly.
@helenperris He has, sorry. Weird. pic.twitter.com/BxTa95liG5
thespecialbka This is why PVO gets the big bucks.
I reckon I’ll keep this photo, in case I’m ever having a bad day. pic.twitter.com/VUauU8RHT7
NewtonMark Steady on. Bit early for that. twitter.com/rhysam/status/…
@expectproblems Sure, but hey here we are.
@expectproblems Fun years, eh?
BevanShields The @smh front page pic.twitter.com/rAiFJiffTp
Leo_Puglisi6 British media taking tonight’s results well I see twitter.com/thesun/status/…
So, who is “We” here exactly? No drama, just confused. And old. twitter.com/alexbhturnbull…
@NewtonMark Anyway when you touch down in SYD there will be a new Prime Minister.
@expectproblems And here we are. :)
@NewtonMark Yeah no clear avoidance of thunderstorm curves. :)
@NewtonMark Oh nice. Looks like you’ve had quite a clear flight.
@NewtonMark Also, what flight are you on? I want to look at the map.
@NewtonMark Mark. Just press the button and they will bring you more alcohol.
SuperCroup Oh god shut the actual fuck up twitter.com/chaser/status/…
HAHAHAHAHA! pic.twitter.com/CxdcAM6q7C
Sharma GORN!
Frydenberg GORN!
To be fair David Speers isn’t totally useless.
@BenAylett Let’s see.
@kofeyh Lol I have more alcohol to get through.
And in the morning we will all wake up and realise everything is still shit.
jonkudelka Jobseeker will however remain below the poverty line.