Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please

Photograph of Heath Ledger

Yes, Australian actor Heath Ledger is dead, possibly from a drug overdose. So now it’s time to collect all the jokes, ‘cos he can’t sue you for libel. Please add them in the comments.

Tasteless? Yes. Exploitative? Probably. Too soon for this? Yeah probably that too.

So why do it?

It’s an experiment…

More than a year after the event, a collection of jokes about Steve Irwin’s death is still one of the most heavily-visited pages on this website. More than half of the searches bringing people here are for Corey Worthington Delaney.

Tasteless is what you want, so tasteless is what you’ll get.

We’ll even throw in the phrases “heath ledger porn” and “heath ledger naked” to help things along. Index that, Google!

The comments will be moderated, but not heavily. They may take a while to show up because — oddly enough! — there are other things to do.

[Update: Scroll down to find the comments thingy. Try to spell properly. And if you’re going to whinge that “It’s too soon to make jokes,” then at least suggest how long someone has to be dead before they’re not sacred any more. And try to spell properly.]

[Update 27 January 2008: The two rules about relevance are now being enforced. Comments will not be published if (1) they repeat jokes which have already been posted, unless they’re substantial improvements, or (2) they’re just some anti-gay comment that doesn’t have any relevance.]

[Update 3 January 2009: Comments have now been closed. See my very last comment for the reasons.]

185 Replies to “Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please”

  1. Wonder if his suicide note read, “10 things I hate about myself….”

    (Ok, I went too far with those last two).

  2. OK, we’re four hours into the process. Time to reflect…

    There’s the core of some good jokes here, especially the ledger = accounting link. But I’m thinking the Batman movie angle is just a bit too short-attention-span. Yes, it’s a new movie, but that doesn’t link to anything else.

    Some of the entries don’t have anything that’s specific to Heath Ledger, they could be about anyone. Poor.

    Todd, your lame off-topic comment was deleted. Grow up.

    Can’t you people spell?

  3. heath ledger went to the doctors days earlier complaining of headaches…

    the doctor gave him tablets to ingest two a day orally..

    he was diaspointed they wern’t suppositories

  4. I explored the possibilities offered by blankets=wool=’dyed (died) in the wool Aussie’, but it feels a trifle forced.

    ‘Take 600 tablets and call me in the morning’? Nah.

    ‘He must have been swallowing those pills with Two Hands?’ Maybe, needs more work.

    I got nuthin’ so far.

  5. @Todd: Well, your first comment was deleted because it was just an attack on another poster.

    I’ve allowed the second one through since it’s actually a joke, though not very good. Heath Ledger was straight, the character he played in one movie was gay. The delay was just me working through the queue (and having other things to do today).

  6. “He must have been swallowing those pills with Two Hands?’ Maybe, needs more work”

    Perhaps something about ” He was new to the sleeping pills, so thought ” Two hands for beginners”. Nah.

    Anyone? Anyone?

    (sorry if my spelling is off. I’m not learned good….)

  7. Its rumored Heath Ledger might of actually died from alcohol poisoning…..

    a few too many cock sucking cowboys!

  8. I’ve noticed that the film posters for the marketing campaign for “The Dark Knight” (the new Batman film) have the following tagline on them:

    “Why So Serious?”

    I now suggest that also be the theme for his funeral.

  9. What do Jake Gylennhal’s cherry and a bottle of Paxil have in common?

    They both got popped by Heath Ledger.

  10. THE CLOTHES HEATH WAS WEARING WERE RECENTLY PUT UP FOR AUCTION ON EBAY.. IT STATES THAT THELL’Y NEED TO BE WASHED A FEW TIMES TO GET THE DIE STAINS OUT OF THEM…

  11. Time for some quality control, I think… some rules!

    1. Jokes actually have to reference Heath Ledger in some way. Jokes like the one Gazza44 just posted, which could be about anyone, are not acceptable.
    2. Jokes with a gay reference but fail to distinguish between the actor and the character he played in Brokeback Mountain lose most of their points immediately. So that’s jrock’s out.

    I won’t delete any that are already posted (unless I change my mind), but won’t post any future ones that don’t meet these basic criteria.

  12. Press release from Warner Bros:

    The studio has been worried about what to do with the next Batman movie now that one of the main draw cards has died, but some quick thinking was done and we are proud to announce the next installment in the series – The Dark Knight 2: Weekend at Heathies

  13. Heath Ledger has apparently died of an overdose.
    Rumour has it, He got addicted to ‘crack’ after shooting Brokeback Mountain!

  14. Sleeping pills =/= Two Handy Candy

    OK, bad half-assed joke, but I got two film references in. I get some points for that right?

  15. His latest role was “I’m Not There”.

    Guess that applies to all his future film releases too….

  16. End of the day for me — at least for now — so new commenters will not have their comments appear promptly at all. I’ll respond in detail to everything in about 12 hours from now.

  17. Heath was found in Mary Kate Olsen’ apartment, he was visiting

    what did he die of?

    Starvation …….

  18. “I just heard on TMZ that Heath Ledger will be playing the role of Bernie in “Weekend at Bernie’s 3.” His performance already getting Oscar talks.”

Comments are closed.