Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please

Photograph of Heath Ledger

Yes, Australian actor Heath Ledger is dead, possibly from a drug overdose. So now it’s time to collect all the jokes, ‘cos he can’t sue you for libel. Please add them in the comments.

Tasteless? Yes. Exploitative? Probably. Too soon for this? Yeah probably that too.

So why do it?

It’s an experiment…

More than a year after the event, a collection of jokes about Steve Irwin’s death is still one of the most heavily-visited pages on this website. More than half of the searches bringing people here are for Corey Worthington Delaney.

Tasteless is what you want, so tasteless is what you’ll get.

We’ll even throw in the phrases “heath ledger porn” and “heath ledger naked” to help things along. Index that, Google!

The comments will be moderated, but not heavily. They may take a while to show up because — oddly enough! — there are other things to do.

[Update: Scroll down to find the comments thingy. Try to spell properly. And if you’re going to whinge that “It’s too soon to make jokes,” then at least suggest how long someone has to be dead before they’re not sacred any more. And try to spell properly.]

[Update 27 January 2008: The two rules about relevance are now being enforced. Comments will not be published if (1) they repeat jokes which have already been posted, unless they’re substantial improvements, or (2) they’re just some anti-gay comment that doesn’t have any relevance.]

[Update 3 January 2009: Comments have now been closed. See my very last comment for the reasons.]

185 Replies to “Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please”

  1. I feel just f’ing terrible…

    I couldn’t even sleep last night.. Heath Ledger stole all my pills.

    My girlfriend reminded me that he was a generous man.
    He did leave a bunch just laying around next to him.
    I still think the move was rather cold.

  2. @muppet: “The city that never sleeps” angle has possibilities… But this one works, I think:

    Which script does Heath wish he’d read?

    The one from the chemist.

    Does that work for non-Australian readers though? Don’t Americans call them “pharmacies”?

    @daviusgrantius: WTF is a “heath bar”?

  3. @mylyf: So, is there some really subtle ironic joke that I’m not getting there, or is that just a pig-ignorant bit of racism from a low-life turd? Gotta be asked… and they’re the only two logical alternatives.

  4. A little too cerebral perhaps:

    Dyslexic insomniacs feel comforted it is now Ok to lie awake wondering if there is life after heath.

  5. I hear he died from a drug mix-up.

    Guess he misunderstood Pacino’s advice and thought he’d try methadone acting…

  6. lameness follows…

    i guess he had been weighed, measured, and found dead

    looks like he finally found a way to quit jack twist

  7. Arsenal defenders Sagna, Gallas, Hoyte and Traore, are to be investigated into the mysterious death of Heath Ledger that occurred on Tuesday night…apparently no one can account for their whereabouts after 8pm…?!?!

    [explanation for yanks: arsenal lost 5-1 to their biggest rivals….geddit?

  8. Does this count as a joke Mein Adjudicator?

    How prophetic! ‘You can do Paxil’ was released in 1982 – some 26 years before the event…

    You can do Paxil
    You can do as many as you desire
    Paxil, and you know
    This is the one – a real Oscar sure-fire

    You know darn well
    When you down those pills, you’ll be off your face
    You realise, can’t ope’ your eyes
    As hard as stone, won’t wake today

    Derr, derr, derr, derr, derr, derr…

  9. well i hate to explain jokes but the point is they were on the pitch that night in a televised game, but because the team lost so badly, the joke infers that they, the defenders were nowhere to be seen.

    I guess the joke is more about arsenal but its still funny and involves heath…

  10. with a name like heath-cliff ledge-r, everyone was surprised that whe he took his own life he didnt just jump!!!

  11. Heath Ledger Special Boxed Edition Available!!!!!!

    (until the morning of the cremation obviously)

  12. @bobby: Yeah, I get that Arsenal played so badly that it was like they were missing players. And I get that the the payers might have been out murdering someone. But what is the Heath Ledger connection (as opposed to blaming the missing players for any other event that day)?

    @pee chai matt: Yep, that’s a joke. Is it funny though? [ducks] Worth reminding people about though. And I like “Mein Adjudicator”.

    Keep ’em coming, I’ll figure out what to do with this page later today Sydney time.

  13. Hey Stilghererrian, I thought my Down Under joke was rather clever. I guess you can’t fathom irony. Love ya anyway, Keenan

  14. Um… Lets give this a shot….

    Some Revised Heath Ledger Movie Titles from IMDB.com:

    – The Crematorium of Doctor Bareasses
    – The Dark Night
    – I’m Not There (why change it?)
    – Heavan’s Cassanova
    – Cassano-mo
    – Brokeback Massage
    – The Lords of Pilltown
    – The Odor
    – Dead Kelley
    – The No-More Feathers
    – A Nights Flail
    – Two Hands, Six Feet Under
    – 10 Things I Hate About Me
    – Home and Really Far Away


  15. Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile Lost it’s wheel and the Joker…died.

  16. Two Jokers walk in to a bar. “Caesar, Heath – what’ll it be” asks St. Peter.

Comments are closed.