@FrKarlSinclair @SnarkyPlatypus Me too.
stilgherrian Ode to the Flathead
Dorsally compressed
Face like a fractured boulder
Now my happy belly
@voltagex @kcarruthers @adamjogrady Urinvolved as much as anyone.
@adamjogrady @voltagex Dammit.
@voltagex @adamjogrady “Sir, this is a travel agency.”
@voltagex @adamjogrady OK, I don’t have a urologist and my stream isn’t that good, but I couldn’t resist the gag. #donotjudgemystream
@voltagex @adamjogrady That’s what my urologist said.
@SnarkyPlatypus The “cow tofu” is also good.
I believe @SnarkyPlatypus needs to consider “Spanish seafood nasi goreng”, at the very least. twitter.com/JodieAzhar/sta…
@nazzer @zdnetaustralia I am always impressed with the pace of growth and change outside our patch, and they don’t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…rm
jonkudelka “When I use a word”, Humpty Dutton said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean neither..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…8l
JohnBirmingham Twitter was better when we had those baboons.

I see that @gathgwyn is hard at work. pic.twitter.com/0yBpRxTKr5
stilgherrian @zdnetaustralia One thing I love about @apnic and APRICOT conferences is all the reminders that the world does incl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…vt
stilgherrian @zdnetaustralia As an aside, check this network map of Liquid Telecom, “the largest single-fibre network on the Afr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3D
stilgherrian Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Telstra to roll out RPKI routing security from June 2020,” plus data on RPKI rollouts in Ba..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1E
@JustJimWillDo @expectproblems I have sent you a DM.
@expectproblems I will tell you privately once I arrive at my destination.
Passing the Hill of Dead Pets.
STcom Malaysia’s King treats media camped at palace to McDonald’s as political turmoil continues straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/m…
@expectproblems @NewtonMark I’m afraid, Elissa.
We now live in a world where this is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. twitter.com/SnarkyPlatypus…
@1stLeighton We’ll try to keep some baboons for you.
@expectproblems @NewtonMark I still don’t know exactly what has happened but as far as I can tell no one on this train is a baboon.
On another #blueandyellowtrain.
@HappySinger Arf!

Dear Rest off the World, just don’t ask. pic.twitter.com/t3iH3mAjM9
@expectproblems The plane was only 2/3 full so I guess they were leaving spaces for the baboons.
@RealNickHodge If only.
@HappySinger I did not have an aerial internet this time.
@PeteLawler Is this another flu thing?
@expectproblems @NewtonMark Weren’t the baboons a ways here though? Just kept in reserve for exactly this occasion?

Absolutely as seen on Instagram, touchdown. But that’s all done with and I’m on a #blueandyellowtrain now. pic.twitter.com/txoz9rjV3v

Descending into Sydney. pic.twitter.com/HGRFNdWbkN

Clowds. pic.twitter.com/ItYV9m7OY9

From earlier, waiting patiently in Melbourne, then taking off past the queue. pic.twitter.com/VDk738nzU2
Baboons. I see.
I appear to have landed into a bad remake of “Planet of the Apes”, though I think I need more information.

Touchdown Sydney, eventually. instagram.com/p/B8-6W2dn0Qn/…
Transmitters off. See you in Sydney.
If you’re really bored you can track me on @flightradar24 by entering VA869.

The view from 29A. instagram.com/p/B8-thdfHkXG/…

Boarding. No satellite tit. Boo. pic.twitter.com/HUvnTuimM9
@jxeeno For Jetstar or RyanAir or whatever, because it’d be magic if your flight were on time.
@bencourtice You know it makes sense.
YOUR MAGIC SKYCHAIR IS NOT YET READY TO ACCOMMODATE YOUR PRIVILEGED FAT ARSES JUST SIT THE FUCK DOWN.
This 1715 flight is delayed to at least 1735. Passengers are still disembarking from the aircraft’s previous flight..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…jj
I’m loving the entire concept of a ramjet engine with a coal basket.
“Following wind-tunnel testing of the ramjet and the coal basket, modifications were incorporated to provide more efficient combustion.”
Initially, it was proposed that a wire-mesh basket holding coal be mounted behind a nose air intake, protruding sli..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…jc
Mind you, “As conventional fuels were in extremely short supply by late 1944, Lippisch proposed that the P.13a be p..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…6j

HappySinger Someone’s having confusing thoughts after LadBible added rainbow colouring to their logo for pride season. pic.twitter.com/zGu58bgtAV
@stevesolomons You’re welcome.
DDsD And I *still* haven’t got NBN. twitter.com/anthony256/sta…
@stevesolomons I’m pretty confident in saying that Dutton’s mind doesn’t work that way. Besides, all of this is in..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…23

Never forget, what Australia needs are coal-powered aircraft. pic.twitter.com/II1twnWMSq

ellinghausen One Nation Senators Pauline Hanson and Malcolm Roberts voting against a motion condemning Bettina Arndt’s comments pic.twitter.com/HwXI0SKrBW
@SnarkyPlatypus It would be the one where women in headscarves of some kind weren’t harassed.
@jonoabroad Well that’s OK then.
@stevesolomons Only if you lump together all “terrorism” by any of “Islam” as being the same thing. It’s like “Euro..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…K0
@jonoabroad I don’t think you understand what’s going on there. Shall I firesplain it for you?
How the fuck is “Islamic terrorism”, assuming we’re going with that term, a left-wing thing? Dutton is wrong in the..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sP

A random photo for @ApostrophePong. I’ll try for a better version some other time. pic.twitter.com/44yUP8JKOh
Yeah none of the photos of VH-VON show it with an internet connection lump on top. Disappoint. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@cafuego Yep, it was a bit lumpy-looking there for a while.

This one was more creative. pic.twitter.com/l8Z1g3gxLE

MOAR LAPS. (I think we might’ve had a thunderstorm nearby.) pic.twitter.com/QMAHZlWqIp
There’s very little I love more than people obeying the fire safety signs, such as this one near an extinguisher re..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sG
@paulwallbank And who can blame it?

My inbound aircraft is currently killing time to the west of Melbourne. I don’t think this one has internets. pic.twitter.com/Bb3W1ych4L
@cafuego I wasn’t quite close enough to join the trolling.

Pleuting on the Planes. pic.twitter.com/Hq26s2L10R
Well this is just greedy. twitter.com/jpwarren/statu…
Obviously we’re about to drive straight past Essendon Airport, a third airport, without stopping so I’m looking for..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…LQ
Ten points to the young guy who replied “There’s two airports”.
An American backpacker sitting nearby, having bought a ticket to the airport, boarded a bus labelled Airport Expres..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4h
One day I’m going to take the helicopter to the airport, but it’ll have to wait until I can afford it.
@MsLods I though you might be. It’s not quite as rowdy as last time but it covers a lot of territory.
Blocked and reported. twitter.com/dawnstarau/sta…
@MsLods Yep. Well, he said in evidence to INSLM that ASIO had used TOLA Act powers within 10 days of assent. Not su..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bk

SkyBus’in. pic.twitter.com/BFC8Nw98GT
Which means, obviously, they very sensibly wouldn’t be eaten. twitter.com/blowdart/statu…
DemiNLawrence “What constitutes as ‘a shit ton’?” @OHnewsroom
evanishistory An increasing amount of #ASIO files on the far right have been digitised, including three large files (of a series..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…8p

HelenKennedy Best reason to go off the record. pic.twitter.com/qi68vD8pxj

davidcsimon One of the young Grey Butcherbirds stopped by yesterday. Always a delight.
#birds #WildOz pic.twitter.com/b1vibadEu1
@dobes @hughriminton I’m sure it’s time to remind everyone that there was (and still is?) a “senior minister” who d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…dP
@SnarkyPlatypus I’ve only skimmed the reports but it’s pretty impressive. Even Thailand would struggle to match this sort of arsehattery.
swearyanthony being illiterate to own the left twitter.com/akoz33/status/…
zdnetaustralia UK mobile radiation tests top out at 1.5% of safe levels zd.net/32z0EdX
@dobes I’m so for getting wrecked on those shoals!
@nazzer @RNBreakfast Yeah I don’t wake up like that. It’s bad for you.
@SnarkyPlatypus Yeah I’d love to see some qualitative research on that. In my own case it’s a sense of having seen..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…uo

And there’s solid support for the closing of the borders with China. essentialvision.com.au/attitudes-towa… pic.twitter.com/ZhZJd1n0oL

30% of Australians are changing their behaviours because of the coronavirus. essentialvision.com.au/actions-taken-… pic.twitter.com/QUwAm32npa

Solid support for the net-zero emissions target by 2050, even among Coalition voters. essentialvision.com.au/support-for-ze… pic.twitter.com/jIStC2WteJ

From today’s Essential Report, some polling of coal which reveals some confused views imo. essentialvision.com.au/category/essen… pic.twitter.com/QTuFwPS01P
@GordyPls @NewtonMark @abcnews Is anything illegal on Thursdays?
It’s impossible to then figure out what he thinks because he doesn’t even seem to know himself.
The problem with trying to parse Dutton’s public comments — well one of the problems — is that he doesn’t seem to atwitter.com/i/web/status/1…4VUr
joshgnosis And in the next cute Mardi Gras video, the AFP read out your DMs.
@MatthewBevan Beware of Stockholm Syndrome, Matt.
ICYMI yesterday, my recording with @FionaPattenMLC went very well and the finished podcast will be posted late this..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…d6
@MatthewBevan He will though. :)
@MatthewBevan Oh wait, that’s a Michael Moore quote. Sorry. Still, a stopped clock, etc.
“‘I’m sorry to be the buzzkill but I think Trump is going to win’: Trump taught us an important lesson in 2016,” sa..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…m0
Attn: @dobes @SnarkyPlatypus. pca.st/podcast/322916…
Dutton is so good at shooting himself in the foot. One answer to this question could have been just “Yes”. Or “Yes,..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…id
@justanotheramy Indeed. :(
@BiggPharma There’s a lot of true believers out there.
@MalwareJake You’d think with all the money coming into the place, etc. Sigh. Anyway, have fun at RSAC even with people bailing out.
This could be solved pretty easily with public toilets and maybe even providing people with affordable homes now th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Yv
FINALLEVEL I got outta Crime.. twitter.com/zaquilleohneal…
@TheNehad I genuinely pity some of the people in external PR who are just doing the operational side of some fucked-up corporate messaging.
earleyedition asio boss 2019: rightwing extremism
asio boss 2020: rightwing extremism, rightwing extremism, rightwing extremism,..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ei
@at_revenge Oh dear.
I should’ve tagged that #haiku so it goes into that realm.
@SnarkyPlatypus @abcnews Indeed. Local administrations will just report that it’s gone.
Ode to the Flathead
Dorsally compressed
Face like a fractured boulder
Now my happy belly
strom_m EXCLUSIVE: I chose an Australian charity at random (@RedCrossAU) and had a look at its annual report. Blow me! Majo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bb
@paulwiggins Hmmm. I once did a half-day training course in how to write PR like a human. I should resurrect that.
A small point, but if it’s “illegal” isn’t it already “banned”, @abcnews? I don’t understand what this means…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ZU
@paulwiggins Good thinking, what with the price of thermal paper. I’ve got the bones of a column or blog post about..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…KV
@Taco_Lad Not the data about the dog, mind you. There will an actual dead dog in the data bilge.
@Taco_Lad Around 80% of your life plus 20% consisting of jumbled bits of half a dozen random strangers and someone’s pet dog.
@dobes @davidgerard @twcau I thought they might’ve fallen for the snake oil.
@paulwiggins I don’t think many journalists give feedback to the PR people.
@munin Or that, yes.
I’ve always thought they should be called “data sumps” or “data bilges”.
They also talk about data being “ingested” into the lake or lakehouse, but things drain lakes. Bad things. Toxic things.
@TheNehad It’s OK, your name isn’t on it.
@Kxyne I think it should count. Then you could fortify it with Data Sandbags.
@noreasonspec Correct.
Wait. Bribes ARE paying people to do things. They’re just not salaries. As you were.
Just received, PR that says a new product “will bring data teams closer to building lakehouse – a new data managemetwitter.com/i/web/status/1…SplX
Bribes. twitter.com/SnarkyPlatypus…
For Questions on Notice to Senate inquiries junkies, those two documents and all the rest are at..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…a4
End of my tweets on those two documents, but they’re just my highlights from a quick skim. I’m not working on these..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…uc
A common sentence: “The Minister has made a public interest immunity claim with respect to any legal advice obtaine..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Xr
“The total value of all social welfare debts recovered by External Collection Agencies 1 July 2016 – 31 December 20twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Iuwu
Total (claimed) debts referred to external collection agencies is now up to $2.29 billion. (There’s also a breakdow..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…AK
There’s an org chart, and a question about secretary Kathryn Campbell’s CV and previous job application letters. Th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sX
Debts can be flagged for external debt collection or to the ATO for garnishing when the debt is as little as $50…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…St
When the say “Services Australia (the Agency) will consider the best way of supporting vulnerable customers”, doesn..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…77
“Following the changes to the program as announced on 19 November, what additional support will be provided to vuln..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…NU

How they decide to provide extra support to “vulnerable people” seems a bit vague to me. (From the same document.) pic.twitter.com/wR8wjNKL3a
Centrelink deals with many “vulnerable people” and says it takes that into account but doesn’t have a definition fo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…WO
Some new data points on Centrelink’s “compliance program” “It’s approximately 1,500 people working on the online in..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Qv
@iiTalW Correct.
Whenever I see a tweet including the phrase “via Reddit” my heart sinks.
abcadelaide #BREAKING: Norwegian company #Equinor has become the third major fossil fuel producer to abandon plans to drill for..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…GS
An amazing story on @7ampodcast today: “The prison riot sparked by climate change” pca.st/bhjhjdi3 The matc..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…7u
@dobes @SnarkyPlatypus “An Act to protect Australia’s heritage of movable cultural objects, to support the protecti..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…vV
@dobes Hilarious and not at all populist. Also, we have been reminded of the Protection of Movable Cultural Heritag..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Dr
@paulwallbank Well I do need better sleep patterns…
@zdnetaustralia One thing I love about @apnic and APRICOT conferences is all the reminders that the world does incl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…vt
@zdnetaustralia As an aside, check this network map of Liquid Telecom, “the largest single-fibre network on the Afr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3D
Tue plan, supplemental: I also seem to have a lot of messages to catch up with. I’ll get there. This includes your..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…e7
MatthewBevan It has become literally impossible to tell the difference between a real Mike Bloomberg tweet and a fake one created by @pixelatedboat.
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Telstra to roll out RPKI routing security from June 2020,” plus data on RPKI rollouts in Ba..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1E
Tue plan, draft: Slow start with administrivia and data wrangling; reading and story planning; 1715 VA869 MEL-SYD;..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…A1

Melbourne’s forecast shows more raindrops than the data behind it. I’ll take this as a sign. pic.twitter.com/uGhnQ0sL4w
OK so I may have slept in but Peter Dutton’s mind is still on the job. Reassuring. twitter.com/GrogsGamut/sta…
It is after 10am, which was not my original intention. I blame the effective curtains and the really quite disorienting dreams.
Tuesday. A remarkable shipboard story of romance and intrigue. Tuesday.