Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please

Photograph of Heath Ledger

Yes, Australian actor Heath Ledger is dead, possibly from a drug overdose. So now it’s time to collect all the jokes, ‘cos he can’t sue you for libel. Please add them in the comments.

Tasteless? Yes. Exploitative? Probably. Too soon for this? Yeah probably that too.

So why do it?

It’s an experiment…

More than a year after the event, a collection of jokes about Steve Irwin’s death is still one of the most heavily-visited pages on this website. More than half of the searches bringing people here are for Corey Worthington Delaney.

Tasteless is what you want, so tasteless is what you’ll get.

We’ll even throw in the phrases “heath ledger porn” and “heath ledger naked” to help things along. Index that, Google!

The comments will be moderated, but not heavily. They may take a while to show up because — oddly enough! — there are other things to do.

[Update: Scroll down to find the comments thingy. Try to spell properly. And if you’re going to whinge that “It’s too soon to make jokes,” then at least suggest how long someone has to be dead before they’re not sacred any more. And try to spell properly.]

[Update 27 January 2008: The two rules about relevance are now being enforced. Comments will not be published if (1) they repeat jokes which have already been posted, unless they’re substantial improvements, or (2) they’re just some anti-gay comment that doesn’t have any relevance.]

[Update 3 January 2009: Comments have now been closed. See my very last comment for the reasons.]

185 Replies to “Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please”

  1. Its just been announced that Heath Ledger has been cast in Dawn of the Dead 2.

    He will be playing Zombie # 4

  2. Many, many women think Heath Ledger is one hot Aussie…

    well he will be when he gets cremated

  3. Steve Irwin to Heath Ledger in Heaven: “Yeah? Well at least *I* went out like a man… stabbed in the heart by a fish… You pill poppin wanker…”

    (not great… but I’m sure someone can improve…)

  4. A REMINDER ABOUT THE RULES: PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING! Comments are being moderated. Comments will not be published if:

    1. They repeat jokes which have already been posted, unless they’re a substantial improvement; or
    2. They don’t link to Heath Ledger specifically, but could be about any dead person; or
    3. They’re just making a stupid anti-gay comment. Heath Ledger may have acted as a gay cowboy in one movie, but he himself was straight. Acting, y’see. Don’t bring your sexual insecurities here.

    Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. I have other things to focus on too.

  5. how about this
    whats the difference between Heath Ledger and Steve Irwin?
    One was serated, the other was sedated.

    i dnno it was funnier in my head :]

  6. @”Heath Ledger”: Wow. Telling people to kill themselves but not having the spine to use a real email address. Classy.

    Mind you, it’s the first commenter in a while to actually read and reflect on what’s already been posted. Is that worth a bonus point?

  7. OK…

    Q: Why did the Maid let the Masseuse into the room?
    A: Heath was looking a little stiff…

    Q: What’s the difference between me and Heath Ledger?
    A: Heath’s Better looking, but I woke up on Tuesday.

    Apparently he completely misunderstood Jack Nicholson’s advice and decided to try methadone acting.

    Looks like this Joker was more than just a “midnight toker.”

    Heath Ledger to the pill bottle: “I wish I knew how to quit you…”


  8. it is a proven fact that hair grows 3 months after you die, which means that Heath Ledger is only going to get cuter

  9. Steve Irwin, Heath Ledger and Peter Brock are in the line for heaven. When they get to the front St Peter stops them:

    St Peter: “I’m Sorry guys but it’s pretty full in there, can you tell me a bit about yourselves before I let you in.”

    Peter Brock pipes up: “Well I was a world class race car driver, I won Bathurst seven times, and I promoted road safety across my nation.”

    St Peter: ” Oh Mr Brock, come on in. You’re a hero up here too.”

    Steve Irwin steps up: “Well I’m a conservationist, I advanced awareness of endangered species around the world and was affectionately known as the crocodile hunter.”

    St Peter: ” Oh Mr Irwin, your exploits are legendary come right on in.”

    Heath Ledger clears his throat: ” Well I was an actor. I made a number of entertaining movies, one of which gained notoriety for my role as a gay cowboy.”

    St Peter: “You’re welcome here to Mr Voight.”

    I’m quite proud of it. It’s not mean, its not nasty, and it’s not inflammatory to the homosexual communities or cowboys. I hope people get it.

  10. Did any of you brain dead assholes stop to think Heath’s family have access to the world wide web, and could read this shit?
    I hope that when you pass on, some asshole posts jokes about you!
    But then again, that ain’t gonna happen…….
    …….Because your not rich, famous or good looking, hey?

  11. @Gavin: You’re right. I’ve never realised it before. The Internet might be read by someone! We’d better not put anything there which could possibly upset any of the 1+ billion Internet users. When you get a moment, could you drop me a quick list of everything that has the potential to be upsetting? I’ll make sure that it’s never mentioned again.

  12. C’mon folks…come up with something funny. The only good ones have been “…..addicted to crack” and “…cocksucking cowboy”. “… a stiff actor! “was kinda funny but too generic.
    I know I know…I don’t have anything to contribute but I need something new to tell my g/f who always pretends to be mortified at “wrong” jokes but secretly loves them.

  13. a poor effort. it seems there’s a few americans on this site. you know, the jokes are so farfetched that you can tell the yanks have been up for hours thinking.

  14. everyone who has contributed to this is a sick individual, this is unbelivable!!! i love the compassionate nature this world has.

  15. I haven’t contributed until now but if it makes me a “sick individual” and “compassionate” then here goes…
    Q:How many Heath Ledgers does it take to change a light bulb?
    Okay admittedly I don’t have an answer but I find the old light bulb joke is a good jumping off point..
    i.e A:He doesn’t change it he already gone towards the light.
    A:He doesn’t that’s why he couldn’t read the labels on those pill bottles.
    A: That was what room service came up to do, too late.
    Anyway you get the idea…give it a go. I should try to work in Gemma Ward or Mary -Kate’s security, your turn.
    Works for people you know well much better.

  16. How many Heaths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    None, coffins dont have lightbulbs.

    “10 Pills I took before Bed”

  17. @AJ: I’ll publish a final wrap-up on Tuesday 19 February, which will make it 4 weeks since Ledger’s death. Should be plenty of data to crunch.

Comments are closed.