Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please

Photograph of Heath Ledger

Yes, Australian actor Heath Ledger is dead, possibly from a drug overdose. So now it’s time to collect all the jokes, ‘cos he can’t sue you for libel. Please add them in the comments.

Tasteless? Yes. Exploitative? Probably. Too soon for this? Yeah probably that too.

So why do it?

It’s an experiment…

More than a year after the event, a collection of jokes about Steve Irwin’s death is still one of the most heavily-visited pages on this website. More than half of the searches bringing people here are for Corey Worthington Delaney.

Tasteless is what you want, so tasteless is what you’ll get.

We’ll even throw in the phrases “heath ledger porn” and “heath ledger naked” to help things along. Index that, Google!

The comments will be moderated, but not heavily. They may take a while to show up because — oddly enough! — there are other things to do.

[Update: Scroll down to find the comments thingy. Try to spell properly. And if you’re going to whinge that “It’s too soon to make jokes,” then at least suggest how long someone has to be dead before they’re not sacred any more. And try to spell properly.]

[Update 27 January 2008: The two rules about relevance are now being enforced. Comments will not be published if (1) they repeat jokes which have already been posted, unless they’re substantial improvements, or (2) they’re just some anti-gay comment that doesn’t have any relevance.]

[Update 3 January 2009: Comments have now been closed. See my very last comment for the reasons.]

185 Replies to “Heath Ledger dead: jokes here please”

  1. And, I like to think that someone somewhere is shaking their head saying, “Heath Ledger just died and some muppet has spent the day making jokes in poor taste”.

  2. what the difference between heath ledger and a jug of water?

    water spills, heath ledger pills

  3. 1.
    Whats the difference between heath ledger and a turn stye?
    A turn stye only takes one at a time.

    What have heath ledger and a fly got in common?
    They’re both six feet.

  4. slight change to the turn stye one.

    Whats the difference between Heath Ledger and a bottle opener?
    A bottle opener only pops one at a time.

  5. Heath apparently picked up the pills from a dodgy back street chemist, so… not the first time he has been fucked by a cowboy

  6. Headlines:

    Australian Actor Discovers Cure for Insomnia

    Mary Kate Olsen Survives Rape Attempt by Ledger’s Esophagus

    Stingray Files NYC Police Harassment Suit

  7. They found the real reason Heath Ledger died.

    They have confirmed that it was 1st degree murder, and the suspect in custody is Jack Nicholson.

  8. I knew I had to find a site like this eventually. So I’ve seen hintings at this, but here it is, with delivery polished.

    So now with the autopsy report back as being ‘inconclusive’ with regard to a possible drug overdose, officials are expected to declare Friday that Heath Ledger officially died of a broke back.

  9. Note to andy, who has not had his comments approved (yet): Heath Ledger was straight, not gay. He’s an actor, you know. Fiction. We have already posted the rule that jokes which merely make an anti-gay comment will no longer be posted unless thy link to some other aspect of his life. Get with the 21st Century.

    Note to Benno: The “cocksucking cowboy” joke is already here. Twice. And in better versions.

    Please read through the existing posts before adding your own, or I will probably make a sarcastic comment about you.

  10. As a slight modification (cleanup) of @IrishPJD’s joke (IMNSHO – the only really funny one so far).

    For sale: Heath Ledger Special Boxed Edition.
    Notes: One only, available for a limited time.
    Keep refrigerated after opening.

  11. I’m all for a bit of dark humor, but these “jokes” are not even funny, nor are they intelligent in any way, shape of form. I think the word is purile. what a bunch of wankers.

  12. 1.Wots heath ledger and a turbo engine got in common??

    when they start pingin its not long b4 there dead

  13. Stilgherrian,

    you have to much time on your hands to spend creating webpages that are dedicated to such pathetic topics.

    Why don’t you take your own advice and get with the 21st century and get a real job.

  14. you guys are awesome, i waited 2 weeks before i said my virginia tech jokes, 3 hours after his death, wow, that is just great!!!! i will share several of these and give credit to STILGHERRIAN.COM!
    Thank you so much

  15. @todd, do you have any idea how much time stilgherrian has actually spent inthe creation of this page?

    @Stil – are you able to give us an estimate of how long you have spent of the creation and update (not reading) of this page?
    (I suspect that my 3-4 hours monitoring/reading/adding-to this page is more than you have spent making/updating it).

    @Todd, have a look at the rest of the site – this is but one page, and (when you actually read the intro) here for a purpose other than just vicious voyerism.

  16. Us Australians call them Pharmacies… or Chemists…. it doesnt really matter, but we dont have ‘Drug stores’

  17. @Todd: I’m glad you’ve used your extensive knowledge of my schedule to give me such detailed, constructive advice. I am forever in your debt.

    @Martin: Agreed, the standard is lower than I’d expected. What astounds me is how little though some people have put in before posting, and how little care they put into their communication. Many visitors seem so keen to blurt out their first thought that they don’t even bother looking at the context before posting. It does not bode well for the future of humanity.

    @Crispin: I’ll break down the time in tomorrow morning’s post, which will have the title is now online at Heath Ledger spikes my website, Day 3.

    I can say, though, that very little was spent creating the page itself (about 10 mins, including sourcing the photo), then several short sessions of scanning the comments to decide which ones to post. The majority of the time has been spent on data mining — and that’s delivering enough information for at least two conference presentations.

    @Givans: Glad to be of service.

    As before, lame anti-gay comments have not been published. Please read through the existing posts before adding your own, or I will probably make a sarcastic comment about you.

  18. Why invent jokes?

    I find the fact that the masseuse felt the need, in an obvious medical emergency, to call the girl who played Michelle on Full House three times before calling 911 a lot funnier than even the obvious “Death Ledger” puns.

  19. Phrasing it in the form of a joke:

    Q: What’s the difference between calling Mary Kate Olsen and calling 9-1-1?

    A: If you can figure it out, please tell the masseuse.

  20. What astounds me the most is people who bother to trawl for websites to deliver, “I can’t believe how pathetic you people are” comments.

    Ummm…. am I missing something??

    If you are above it. Don’t read it. Simple.

    Why visit, and spend time reading, a website page titled “Heath Ledger Jokes: here please”, if you think you are above it?

    Show us that with your actions – don’t visit. Don’t take the time to comment. Go wtune into something highbrow.

    Um, with a page title so descriptive – what did you expect to see here???

    @ Martin – so the jokes aren’t funny. They aren’t intelligent. They are purile. We are wankers. Fair point. Mostly true.

    But, who is the bigger fool? The people who spent time here amusing themselves with something which is, let’s face it harmless, (hey, it’s not like we can make him feel worse or drive him to suicide) or people like you who visit a topic to say how disguted they are that they searched “Heather Ledger Dead jokes” to make a comment that they are disappointed”.


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